2 Weeks no contact, Cant stop thinking about him. Why is this so hard?

[StephanieJayne]

I just want to write a low down of what has been happening. I was dating a guy for about 4 months and were friends previously for about 2 years. We were seeing each other twice a week, spoke on the phone everyday, kissing and being affectionate every time we seen each other, we got a long well and could talk about everything. I started to feel like we became kind of distant towards each other and felt less comfortable but I thought that would pass because I knew he had a lot going on in his life at the time.

 

I was really confused about how he felt about me and wondered what was going on with us because it had been 4 months and we acted like a couple. So I asked him what was going on with us and he told me he didn't know what he wanted and he didn't know what I wanted and that he doesn't want to hurt me. I told him its obvious that I wanted to be more then friends and I felt led on. He then told me He was sorry and he feels he doesn't deserve me because he has no goals in life, cant commit to a relationship in general because he is too screwed up. He says were two different people I work and study and he doesn't have a job or future ambitions ( I know this kind of person isn't desirable to be with but I cant help who I fell for)

 

He wanted to remain friends but I told him it is too hard for me to stay friends when I have feelings for him and I think its best we cut ties. He hasn't taken this very well and keeps getting drunk and texting me things like "Were still friends, I care about you so much please don't cut me off" so I text him back saying " Its to hard to be friends I still have feelings for you. We've already crossed the friends line going back would be awkward, I think its best right now we aren't friends"

 

He wrote back " I know you've dealt with anxiety and depression and you know I care about you and worry and think about you a lot, its just so hard not knowing if your ok"

 

I wrote back " I've lived with depression and anxiety most of my life I keep moving forward, I dont remember you asking me if I've been okay the last few months what is the worry now?" (because not once has he cared how I've been the last few months and now he suddenly cares :/

 

He wrote back I cant text this **** everyone can get ****ed

 

So its been 2 weeks no contact and he randomly called me again at 2 am on the weekend I'm guessing drunk.. I really miss him and I cant stop thinking about him and I still feel very sad about the whole thing. When will this get easier to move on and should I continue no contact?

Edited June 17, 2013 by StephanieJayne
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