bluegreen Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Yes you heard me right and you know why ? The way they will respond will give you clear insight in whom have you been with and is it worth it to keep suffering if you care to see it. If they are behaving like jerks abuse you in some way string you along or ignore you and gloat over it well there you have it right there is an answer to your question. IF they behave in respectful way but without building your hopes you might eventually gain a friend even tough if you lost loved one and it hurts now. So don't feel bad if you broke NC feel bad only if you choose not to look at their response and behavior in clear way to better help you move on ... 2
SimonSerenade Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Exactly my thoughts, sometimes it makes you see sense and gives you the strength to walk away and never go back, I reached out and got treated like crap at a moment I needed her to pull through for me, I reached out again with nothing but kindness and got completely ignored, somehow I deserved that when in reality I did nothing wrong short of being a sensetive vulnerable person. I've never dumped anyone but if I did I wouldn't put them through that and purposely make them feel bad about themselves, it just aint right. 1
Author bluegreen Posted June 17, 2013 Author Posted June 17, 2013 Happened to me to and in one moment it was like someone threw cold water on me and I asked myself what am I doing and who was I so crazy about ? A little punk with anger problems emotional coward and drunk - the cute face what did he have well not much let me tell you that not even enough imagination to use new approach to pick up girls. And now am cured Oh I will be eating myself alive for good long while about even being with him but what's important am not infatuated anymore by him.
Author bluegreen Posted June 17, 2013 Author Posted June 17, 2013 Up to a point you are right but it does not have to be like that with every person to many people got dumped by someone they thought different person had no warning or any courtesy extended toward them. Those are the ones that hurt most and am talking about when they reach out they feel stupid guilty and bad why because they still believe that person is who they think they were. And that's why am saying if person can be decent to you if you break NC and relationship is over then yes eventually but eventually you might get to think of them as friends in few years down the road. But if not then it will help you realize you lost nothing this is who they always were you simply refused to see it and it will help you not go back that road with them it will "cool you off" very effectively so to say.
Enna Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 For me, I don't have a need or desire to contact a dumper because I need them to confirm and dumped me over and over again. I got it the first time whether the dumper was nice or not about it. Why is that? 1. The dumper wasn't asking for your approval or permission. 2. It's not a test where you are suppose to prove your love for them, fight for them or the relationship. 3. You were dumped and it's over. 4. It's not the dumpers job or responsibility to make sure the dumpee respects, understands or accepts the dumpers decision. 5. A dumpee is 100% responsible for accepting that they were dumped, healing and moving on 6. If a dumpee doesn't get 1, 2, 3, 4 above and contacts a dumper... They do so at their own peril. When we are dumped It doesn't matter if it's NPD, BPD, G.I.G.S., 7 Year Itch, Commitment Phoebe, Daddy Issues, Douche Rocket, Jerk, Player, etc... The dumper did so because they think, feel, believe, know, are sure that there is someone better out there for them and their life is better without you in it. Really needed to read this just now. Perfect post. Thanks.
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