tcd421 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Is this the world we are coming to being people ending things by blocking you on social media? its happened to me enough times via they block/unfriend me rather then giving me the courtesy of a phone call or text, or even face to face to go away.
Ordinaryday Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I don't understand why people are so CONCERNED WITH HOW THEY GET DUMPED. Bottom line is YOU ARE BEING DUMPED, how it is done is completely irrelevant. the person is making it clear to you that they no longer want you in their life so what the hell does it matter how it is done? and for the last time, I WOULD PREFER TO BE DUMPED BY TEXT THAN FACE-TO-FACE because dumping face to face gives the dumper the satisfaction of seeing you and your response and it also helps assuage their guilt as they can then convince themselves that they are nice for dumping you the 'right' way. WHO CARES because at the end of the day you are being dumped, and being dumped by facebook is fine by me because I would simply never respond to their message, block their account (if they had not already blocked me) and move on, never giving them the satisfaction of a response they obviously wanted! 6
Chris715 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I don't understand why people are so CONCERNED WITH HOW THEY GET DUMPED. Bottom line is YOU ARE BEING DUMPED, how it is done is completely irrelevant. the person is making it clear to you that they no longer want you in their life so what the hell does it matter how it is done? and for the last time, I WOULD PREFER TO BE DUMPED BY TEXT THAN FACE-TO-FACE because dumping face to face gives the dumper the satisfaction of seeing you and your response and it also helps assuage their guilt as they can then convince themselves that they are nice for dumping you the 'right' way. WHO CARES because at the end of the day you are being dumped, and being dumped by facebook is fine by me because I would simply never respond to their message, block their account (if they had not already blocked me) and move on, never giving them the satisfaction of a response they obviously wanted! It's more the fact about respecting people than it is how you get the message of getting dumped. In generations past, when a person needed to tell someone else something important, i.e. they don't want to be in a relationship anymore, it would be face to face or the very least over the phone because it was understood that being straightforward like that is respectful and something the person deserves. The problem these days is so many people are afraid of conflict in general, let alone just conflict involved with breaking up, that they would rather deal with these things by blocking someone on Facebook and then ignoring them completely then doing it face to face because it might be harder to do. 2
LostOne1 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I don't understand why people are so CONCERNED WITH HOW THEY GET DUMPED. Bottom line is YOU ARE BEING DUMPED, how it is done is completely irrelevant. the person is making it clear to you that they no longer want you in their life so what the hell does it matter how it is done? and for the last time, I WOULD PREFER TO BE DUMPED BY TEXT THAN FACE-TO-FACE because dumping face to face gives the dumper the satisfaction of seeing you and your response and it also helps assuage their guilt as they can then convince themselves that they are nice for dumping you the 'right' way. WHO CARES because at the end of the day you are being dumped, and being dumped by facebook is fine by me because I would simply never respond to their message, block their account (if they had not already blocked me) and move on, never giving them the satisfaction of a response they obviously wanted! I never thought of it that way.. but your right. If someone dumped via via FB, I'd not respond and block and move on. 1
Ordinaryday Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 It's more the fact about respecting people than it is how you get the message of getting dumped. In generations past, when a person needed to tell someone else something important, i.e. they don't want to be in a relationship anymore, it would be face to face or the very least over the phone because it was understood that being straightforward like that is respectful and something the person deserves. The problem these days is so many people are afraid of conflict in general, let alone just conflict involved with breaking up, that they would rather deal with these things by blocking someone on Facebook and then ignoring them completely then doing it face to face because it might be harder to do. There is NOTHING remotely 'respectful' about being dumped, why don't people see that? I had an ex try all that with me and it actually made ME FURIOUS WITH HER that she had WASTED MY TIME because had I known upfront that our meeting in the city was simply for her to dump me I would not have bothered making the trip out there. There is NOTHING respectful about being dumped, and even when they dump you face to face they still LIE TO YOU and give you a whole bunch of LIES which is incredibly disrespectful. The last dumper who dumped me face to face told me "I'm just not ready for a relationship right now" and then a week later I heard from a friend of a friend that she had hooked up with another guy. so obviously she WAS "READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW" just not with me, but she lied to me to "spare my feelings" or something, which is incredibly rude because I would just have preferred the cold hard truth! There is NOTHING respectful about dumping someone, and I just prefer it done by text because that way I ignore it and they never get the satisfaction of a response. 3
LostOne1 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 It's more the fact about respecting people than it is how you get the message of getting dumped. In generations past, when a person needed to tell someone else something important, i.e. they don't want to be in a relationship anymore, it would be face to face or the very least over the phone because it was understood that being straightforward like that is respectful and something the person deserves. The problem these days is so many people are afraid of conflict in general, let alone just conflict involved with breaking up, that they would rather deal with these things by blocking someone on Facebook and then ignoring them completely then doing it face to face because it might be harder to do. Well in my opinion there is NO way to respectfully dump someone unless it's mutual where BOTH parties feel the relationship is dying off. Otherwise no matter how you break it.. either way it's gonna be sad. And lefts face it most dumpers don't have the guts to do it in person. "Yeah hi,.. i'm dumping you for another person, okay have a nice life see ya!".
Ordinaryday Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Well in my opinion there is NO way to respectfully dump someone unless it's mutual where BOTH parties feel the relationship is dying off. Otherwise no matter how you break it.. either way it's gonna be sad. And lefts face it most dumpers don't have the guts to do it in person. "Yeah hi,.. i'm dumping you for another person, okay have a nice life see ya!". dumping face to face is also disrespectful because 99 out of 100 dumpers aren't even honest enough to give you the truth about why they are dumping you. It's never "I'm sorry Dave, but really I just don't feel you are good enough for me", it's always some lie like "Dave, you are an amazing wonderful person but I'm just in a confused place right now and I feel we would be better off as friends" which is simply a blatant lying way of saying "you're not good enough for me" no thanks, just send me the text! 1
Author tcd421 Posted June 17, 2013 Author Posted June 17, 2013 (edited) people i have broken things off with its been face to face or on phone call, way i feel about blocking people is it's the easy way out and don't have to deal with the emotions of the other person. Edited June 17, 2013 by tcd421
Ordinaryday Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 people i have broken things off with its been face to face or on phone call, way i feel about is blocking people is the easy way out. WHO CARES whether it is the easy way out because, for the last time, YOU ARE BEING DUMPED. NOTHING, absolutely nothing, changes that outcome. If you are dumped face to face are you going to think later on "oh my dumper was such a nice respectful person for giving me the courtesy of kicking me out of their life face to face, and not by text, what a great gal she is" - if so you are a stronger man than most people! Someone dumping you is basically saying "you are not good enough for me, I believe I can find someone better than you" so the last thing in the world I want is some warm fuzzy face to face meeting in which they kick me out of their life! JUST SEND ME THE TEXT! 2
LostOne1 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 dumping face to face is also disrespectful because 99 out of 100 dumpers aren't even honest enough to give you the truth about why they are dumping you. It's never "I'm sorry Dave, but really I just don't feel you are good enough for me", it's always some lie like "Dave, you are an amazing wonderful person but I'm just in a confused place right now and I feel we would be better off as friends" which is simply a blatant lying way of saying "you're not good enough for me" no thanks, just send me the text! so true.. or like my ex told me how I'm a nice guy and I'll find someone else... what she really meant and I found this out a few months later was... I've found someone else, I'm with him now, and I want to let you off easy and without the truth so it's over... But obviously she can't say that... It's because the guilt would kill her to know she was cheating on me, then decided to move on with this new guy and have to bring it up with me. But you're right.. there is no RIGHT way for dumping someone. The fact is they don't want us any more.. and that means we must accept it and move on and find someone that DOES want us. Why waste time and energy on someone, who doesn't want to waste their time and energy on us too. 1
Ordinaryday Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 so true.. or like my ex told me how I'm a nice guy and I'll find someone else... what she really meant and I found this out a few months later was... I've found someone else, I'm with him now, and I want to let you off easy and without the truth so it's over... But obviously she can't say that... It's because the guilt would kill her to know she was cheating on me, then decided to move on with this new guy and have to bring it up with me. But you're right.. there is no RIGHT way for dumping someone. The fact is they don't want us any more.. and that means we must accept it and move on and find someone that DOES want us. Why waste time and energy on someone, who doesn't want to waste their time and energy on us too. EXACTLY! And when they dump you face to face I guarantee you there is a small part of them that is looking for an ego boost by having you beg and scream and tell them how great they are, so they can STILL REJECT YOU, and then later on get a laugh about how pathetic you were. No thanks, I'd rather keep my dignity intact. just send me the text! 1
LostOne1 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 people i have broken things off with its been face to face or on phone call, way i feel about blocking people is it's the easy way out and don't have to deal with the emotions of the other person. So what? easy way or hard way.. who cares. The FACT is either way it's done.. you are dumped and neither way allows you to get her back, nor will either way feel any better. It's like your asking to be shot in 2 different ways. Fact is a BULLET will still HIT you and you will feel pain either way you are shot... but the end result is you WILL get shot. So why does it matter which way? And obviously why would a dumper NOT take the easy way out. Heck I'd take the easy way out too. That is because if im dumping someone it means I don't give a **** about them. In your ex's case your ex doesn't give a **** about you. That's why a FB msg was sent... Face it.. it's over, F*** her and move on to someone who will care about you. I've been at my BU for almost 1 yr now.. and what the OrdinaryDay is stating is true. If that was said to me a few months back, I'd be in your position. But almost with 1 yrs worth of looking back.. I can say the BEST and ESSENTIAL thing you can do is say F**** her I'm moving on, I'm an awesome guy and some girl out there is waiting for me. Never disrespect yourself.. you are as you make yourself. So stand tall and accept she doesn't want you and you need to invest that energy else where. 1
Author tcd421 Posted June 17, 2013 Author Posted June 17, 2013 got to love technology 20 years or so ago ago alot of you had to do it the hard away tell that person to go away face to face.
Ordinaryday Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 got to love technology 20 years or so ago ago alot of you had to do it the hard away tell that person to go away face to face. No they didn't. 20 years ago they sent "dear john" letters via the snail mail. "dear John, you are an amazing wonderful person BUT....." and then they just stopped returning John's calls until he got the hint. 2
LostOne1 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 EXACTLY! And when they dump you face to face I guarantee you there is a small part of them that is looking for an ego boost by having you beg and scream and tell them how great they are, so they can STILL REJECT YOU, and then later on get a laugh about how pathetic you were. No thanks, I'd rather keep my dignity intact. just send me the text! That's true man.. you know I FELL for that.. I chased her back and kept saying how good she was and did this for me and that.. I boosted her ego so much. That I probably made things worse, and gave her total power... WORST thing I did after a BU and would never do it ever again. The best thing is to just stop total contact and move on. It's hard, but **** man after I went through my recent BU I've shed a whole new light on the type of girl I want, when to know when a relationship will not work, and how to react to BU's... I learned a lot and sure my BU failed with my making it worse and giving her more power. At the end of the day it's a learning experience and we live and learn.
LostOne1 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 No they didn't. 20 years ago they sent "dear john" letters via the snail mail. "dear John, you are an amazing wonderful person BUT....." and then they just stopped returning John's calls until he got the hint. Or until he got a restraining order hahha... or the dad would kick his ass with a baseball bat, or the new boyfriend would come after him. But the mail/letter thing was the big and easy way out. Heck, sometimes they even got a friend to tell the guy. 1
flimflam86 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 If someone liked you enough to be with you in the first place then they should have the respect to grow a pair and tell you to your face. Using technology to dump someone is for cowards and a sign of immaturity and callousness...but then...why would you want to be with someone who does that anyway? I've only ever been dumped once by text, actually, make that twice by the same person. After the first time I pointed out I saw it as pathetic but hey...they do it again later on. They did it as they had no guts, pure and simple and they see relationships as 'disposable'....like a dirty dishtowel. 2
SweetiePie12 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Is this the world we are coming to being people ending things by blocking you on social media? its happened to me enough times via they block/unfriend me rather then giving me the courtesy of a phone call or text, or even face to face to go away. Whoa. Several times? Do elaborate... 1
SweetiePie12 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I don't understand why people are so CONCERNED WITH HOW THEY GET DUMPED. It's not always about being "dumped". Sometimes it's simply a person doesn't feel their needs are being met so they move in a different direction. It isn't always so personal.
SweetiePie12 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 It's more the fact about respecting people than it is how you get the message of getting dumped. In generations past, when a person needed to tell someone else something important, i.e. they don't want to be in a relationship anymore, it would be face to face or the very least over the phone because it was understood that being straightforward like that is respectful and something the person deserves. Bingo. I dated an older guy years ago, and so when he broke up with me via email, it told me everything I needed to know about his level of respect for me, and my level of respect for him has never recovered. The problem these days is so many people are afraid of conflict in general Cowards. 2
itto ogami Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Since I was dumped with a FB message I can tell you that out of all the deceitful manipulative things she did, I found this the final straw of disrespect. And it matters because as you know, some exes expect you to be their friend right after they break-up. Which is what she thought and thus expecting ME to do the heavy lifting of responding or waiting to see her or even keeping her as a friend on FB. Text or messaging is a cowardly way to deal with a person you've spent time and affection on (unless it was an abusive relationship). What's more hilarious is she keeps using FB to try and communicate with me tho I've deleted her and have never responded. And she still has no clue that a message is the laziest way of communicating. The only thing I want to tell her actually is how a FB dump shows how little she respects me or herself. And of course, who needs a friend like that?
SweetiePie12 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 The last dumper who dumped me face to face told me "I'm just not ready for a relationship right now" Geez, how many times has it happened? and then a week later I heard from a friend of a friend that she had hooked up with another guy. so obviously she WAS "READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW" just not with me Well, yeah, that brings to mind that scene from "When Harry Met Sally": he wanted to be married (they guy who left Sally), but just not to her. So in a way... , but she lied to me to "spare my feelings" or something ...she didn't lie to you because a real lie would be staying around you knowing you are not the one.
SweetiePie12 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 dumping face to face is also disrespectful because 99 out of 100 dumpers aren't even honest enough to give you the truth about why they are dumping you. But, why do they have to go into detail? I mean, if you were in the relationship, too, didn't you notice there have been problems?
Ordinaryday Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Geez, how many times has it happened? Well, yeah, that brings to mind that scene from "When Harry Met Sally": he wanted to be married (they guy who left Sally), but just not to her. So in a way... ...she didn't lie to you because a real lie would be staying around you knowing you are not the one. yes she did lie to me because she thought I was not good enough for her and she did not tell me that, she told me "I'm not ready for A relationship right now" when she WAS READY FOR ONE, but not with me. load of crap, spare me and just send me the text.
Ordinaryday Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 But, why do they have to go into detail? I mean, if you were in the relationship, too, didn't you notice there have been problems? I'd prefer them not to go into detail, hence why I say it is more respectful just to send a break up text that I can ignore.
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