syndactyly Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 So everyone texts nowadays. I was just curious, when texting a person you like, are working up to dating, actually dating, ect, how often do you text one another? And if so, when you receive a text from him or her, how speedy is your response? I have come to realize that often I respond super fast, within minutes, because I always have my phone near me.....lol.... Or if people "wait" on texting another back so they don't seem to needy, readily available, doing nothing, ect. Thoughts?
shexy Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I generally always have my phone with me, so I typically text back fast if I receive a text. Sending texts, I usually try to text at more convenient times of the day - like if I know someone has a meeting at 1:00, I won't text at 1:00....for example
happywithlife Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I think that it really varies how much and how often you should be texting with a person you are developing a relationship with. You should not be texting several times a day with simple things like What are you up to, Miss you, or Thinking of you! That just comes across as clingy and if you can't help yourself from doing that you need to re-evaluate your self-confidence and independence! But if you have something to actually say to the person then text them. I like texting when its just not convenient to call. Though, if you are having text conversations, pick up the phone and arrange a date! Don't let the ease of texting decrease the amount of time you spend in person or on the phone - it's just not good for the relationship!
CryForNoOne Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I've been in a relationship about 2 1/2 months and we've texted a mind boggling 2954 times and counting - Handcent displays the total quite prominently. I've actually never texted much until my last two relationships - both women are 27. Observing their friends as well, It seems to be the norm for many women early 30s or younger to text for almost everything. Although I'm kinda shocked by the total, the conversations are never pointless or needy. It's a mix of checking in, small talk, making plans, and sweet talk... We both respond almost immediately unless we are working or out with friends or running errands. It's lame to play games by even thinking about how long before you respond to a text... 1
Eggplant Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I don't like texting. I'd rather have a live conversation. I check text messages every couple of hours.
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I text my guy a lot I try to wait when he texts me to not seem super anxious but most of the time I wait like 10 mins then reply if I am not busy lol
OwlSoul Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Do not wait. Just in case if you feel the other person is waiting/delaying answers try to hold on with texting. It's a matter of feeling the other person.
cheeeesecake Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 My guy and I text all the time. We met on an OLD site and sent just under 600 emails (all essay length!) in the 4 weeks before we met up. I just looked through yesterdays texts and he's sent me 40! They're always pretty long messages and we chat about all sorts of stuff. I normally text back straight away unless I'm busy doing something, as does he
ltjg45 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I'm such the oddball around here who doesn't know how to actually text on a cell phone or, to make it worse, doesn't really rely on one.
sillyanswer Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Thoughts? I respond when I feel like it and when it's convenient. Sometimes that's straight away and sometimes it isn't. I don't have a "rule" about this because that would be silly.
jphcbpa Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 In my relationship, I generally response right away because I am in an office setting and my phone is near me all the time. I have a son, do I don't go too far from it. My g/f is in outside sales so I understand that her replies will generally take longer...sometime a few hours. She is on her cell phone constantly and in meetings all day long. I will sometimes text "love you" or "thinking about you", but I do it out of love without a need for a response. I know she will respond when she has time. There is no pressure and I am not asking her anything that needs a quicker response. I am simply putting it out there because that is how I feel at the time. I have had to learn to detach with love from texts. Agree, that there is not need to play a texting game of "holding out" on a reply.
Casablanca Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 If you aren't "dating" yet, first rule, don't send a second text until you get a response also if you're having a good conversation, you can let it flow...just let it come natural.
PutARingOnIt Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 So many rules. If you text too fast, the other person assumes you are just sitting their waiting for his/her reply. If you always take forever to respond, they assume you're not really interested. SMH. Why does it have to be so complicated?
Casablanca Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 So many rules. If you text too fast, the other person assumes you are just sitting their waiting for his/her reply. If you always take forever to respond, they assume you're not really interested. SMH. Why does it have to be so complicated? That is how we are programed sadly I think I don't mind a quick reply and am usually very quick to reply nor do I think most people...I think just letting the other person have their "space" when it comes to it is very important...I wouldnt want a girl sending me 4 or 5 messages in a row before I get a chance to respond to any of them, that would put me on high alert
ASG Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I tend to not wait to reply. Dont care if it makes me look "interested"... Because chances are, I am. But I do have issues with the "hey hows it going" type texts. I don't like them, and specially not every day. I've blocked people on FB chat for doing it. It's a lame attempt at initiating a conversation. Specially when you spoke the day before. Also, I realise that this is a very ME thing, but don't text too early in the morning or late at night. People might me asleep and not appreciate the gesture. I recently stopped talking to someone I met on an OLD, because he texted me at 8 in the morning, asking me how my day was going, after I told him I had no plans for the day the night before. So 2 things really annoyed me... the fact he texted me early in the morning (waking me up) when he should know I was sleeping in, because I told him so, and the "how's your day going?" type text... I mean... at 8 in the morning? My day is not going anywhere!
CryForNoOne Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 You're either clingy or you're not. Withholding whether you "appear" needy is disingenuous. If a woman wants to check in all the time, I'd rather she do that up front rather than act "cool" at first then get all clingy once we're dating. I've been lured into relationships with women like that and it's not fun. Sometimes I text at 6am or 330am. Some days hundreds of texts are fine, other days a handful or none at all. Whatever "feels" right early on is what i go with. The only thing I'd agree with is that you shouldn't text repeatedly without a reply. You don't continue talking to someone if they don't answer back FTF so texting should have the same basic etiquette. Lastly it also depends on the context as texts that don't warrant a reply don't really count.
Author syndactyly Posted June 17, 2013 Author Posted June 17, 2013 I don't like playing games either. I text back whenever I am available! I think PutaRingonIt said it very nicely.
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