asaahi Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 We dated for 6 months, and it moved very fast. We were both very much in love and were planning a future together. We had some issues/fights that were finally resolved near the end. But she decided she wanted to end it because she hadn't felt as close to me anymore. So we broke up at the end of March. It wasn't on a bad note, and I never cheated on her or did anything where she would hate me. So we talked once or twice in the following weeks, and I mentioned that I want to try again. She said she doesn't want to date me right now, and needed her space. Around mid April, one of my close friends passed away. I know she's found out by now since her mom keeps in touch with me on Facebook, and I also had to post the funeral details on Facebook (and we're still friends on there.) I contacted her once after this happened to see how she's doing, but she never responded. I'm not even expecting an apology or anything like that, but at the very least a text to show she cares. I feel like no matter what, when someone passes away, it's the courteous thing to do. That's just how I was raised. I'm moving on, but she said she always wanted to be friends at the least. This isn't how friends treat each other. My question is, how come she hasn't called to say anything? Isn't that very cold and hurtful, or am I just crazy in thinking so?
carhill Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 My question is, how come she hasn't called to say anything? Isn't that very cold and hurtful, or am I just crazy in thinking so? First off, please accept my condolences for your loss. Friends are large parts of our lives and their loss leaves a big empty space. As for your ex, I'm chagrined to say you're apparently a zero to her now so your friend's death is likely irrelevant to her. She's moved on and you're now one of billions on the planet. That's how it's essentially been with every woman I've ever known under such circumstances. Some will demonstrate their complete indifference to one's face and others, like your ex, will demonstrate it by their silence. It is what it is. IMO, value those who value you and forget the rest. 1
aloneinaz Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 She's moved way past you and you need to move on. I'm amazed at how some guys and gals can make a decision that it's over and NEVER look back. I've had lots of friends demonstrate this and actually, I've also ended a few long term relationship and honestly, I didn't think about them much afterwards. Someone on this site reminded me that before people make the decision to end a relationship, they've been thinking about it for weeks/months so they all ready were prepared for the end mentally. Where the dumpee goes into shock. Anyway, sorry about the loss of your friend.
Col1 Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 I also had to post the funeral details on Facebook (and we're still friends on there.) I contacted her once after this happened to see how she's doing, but she never responded. Unfriend her. 3
scorpio1978 Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 I am sorry for the loss of your friend also. You know how long it took me to type that? 15 seconds tops. She couldn't do that? Yep, unfriend her now. She is not your friend and didn't even have the decency to reach out to you. You have complete strangers on this site extending their condolences and she has not. That's sad. She is indifferent to you at this point. Drop her 2
mammasita Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Im sorry for your loss. you pining for an ounce of compassion from her is pointless. Bottom line is she doesnt care and you need to stop caring about whether she does or not. Unfriend and block her from all aspects of your life. 1
Ordinaryday Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 why should she? when someone dumps you they are leaving your life for good, which includes BOTH the good and bad times. it would be disrespectful of her TO CONTACT YOU because it might give you false hope. 1
LovelyDaze Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I'm so sorry. I wish for you and your friend's family great healing and peace soon. As far as your ex, to put it bluntly, she does not care to be involved in contacting you no matter if it is good or bad news. Don't worry about her, concentrate on yourself and ensure you have a great support system that you can talk with about the loss of your friend(and feelings of ex also.).
bluegreen Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Well she gives icicle whole new meaning hit a block on her and don't look back just imagine if you ended up married to her and needed her and she does this? I done more for my mail man then she for someone who loved her shame on her and boy did you dodged a bullet with that one 1
Omei Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Dislike how so may people in this topic and saying she's cruel and what not, *They broke up* Just because she's on FB doesn't mean they're actual friends after the breakup. When my bf left me I think he left the pictures up and me as a friend on there for about 3 weeks giving me false hope, he would not take me back. They didn't get taken down till I asked his reply "oops...was too busy" People, why do you think facebook "status" is a form of real communication? It's not. She might think its in your best interest to stay away instead of giving false hopes on top of the grieving you're already experiencing from the loss of your friend and the breakup. Sorry for your loss. 1
aloneinaz Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I'll never understand why people would not immediately block an ex when it's over. You're not friends anymore and if u were dumped, she has zero right to see any part of your life moving forward.you should remove the ex from everything media wise. So many folks post about getting their feelings hurt on Facebook after a breakup. All self inflicted. 2
Bozena Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 What the hell? Instead of thinking your deceased friend you are thinking of your ex and why didn't she call you? A person died and you are thinking over some random chick who probably doesn't worth it? But in any case since this is your question there might be many reasons: 1. She doesn't care 2. She just don't know what to tell because she thinks that you are overwhelmed with grief
LostInLove79 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 I am so sorry very for your loss. I recently went through a similar situation. My ex dumped me 2 months ago. 3 weeks ago my younger brother had emergency brain surgery. The easiest way for me to keep everyone posted was via FB, so I know my ex saw the updates (I have since unfriended him)...I thought for sure he would text or call or send some sort of well-wishes. Guess what? He didn't. Was I hurt? Yes. But my focus was on my bother and his recovery...my ex's lack of care just helped me see his true colors even more! Maybe your ex didn't know what to say or how to approach you, but my guess, if she's like my ex, she just didn't care enough to show you support during a rough time, or she felt that contacting you might give you the wrong idea because she is truly done with the relationship and want to close the door Just my 2 cents...
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