Author wildtrac77 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 Friendzone her. Most guys would of told her "I got enough friends" and she knows this. my experience is she thinks your a desperate chump if you stick around. so friendzone her & show her where she is on the totem pole. For me it's: Good friends women who want to date friends women who want to hook up women who just want to be friends. acquaintances / people I work with. It takes at least a yr to reach the friend category for me. NEVER hang out with them alone at either of your places unless she comes onto you first. Invite her out to hang with you and your friends & also avoid psudo-dates like dinner & a movie. NEVER pay for her either. Make her your +1 for events like charities or other events where you need a female counterpart to get in the door or not look gay by bringing a guy friend. When I did this I was in my 20's & did in fact end up with them eventually & I also had some fun with other women until that happened. which I know made them want me. The worse those woman treated me the more in her mind she started thinking she could treat me better. Like I said earlier, i've been hanging around a group of women and they all say "a friend" when mentioning a guy they know, but after a few beers they start talking amongst themselves about why they friendzoned the guy and I feel sorry for these guys. Not because the women are taking advantage of them, but because they let these women do it. Yep your right I do have to friendzone her but will keep up the discreet flirting/eye contact which I wouldn't do with a typical mate , if anything more than friends comes of it then it will be down to her making the first move. she wants to try out some off my hobbys ( which are more extreme sport type stuff which we do in groups ) so will make it clear a few weeks from now that if she wants to come along then its upto her but she is welcome to.. Thinking about it some more alongside reading the great advice on here its clear iv been too nice/available etc to her ( which is what a guy always gets wrong when he meets the right girl ). Thing is given the situ/ the way she acts around me/ how we get on then is different to all the female friends I have ( and some im very close to but none have acted like this such a short time after first spending time with them in the past!!! ) made over the years and your right a good friendship takes months to build. And yes she knows I have loads of female friends ( as she commented on it one date ) so your right she knows Im not actually looking for friends just for the sake of it!!
Author wildtrac77 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 If you want her to like you, you should concentrate on making her family hate you. The quickest way to peak her interest is to have her mom say, "I don't like him. You shouldn't hang out with him", not the other way around. Her mom liking you is the kiss of death in your situation. In fact, if you play your cards right you could call her mom a total b*tch and rag on the rest of her family and trick her into sleeping with you. Why is her mum liking me the kiss of death for?? As for posters saying she is unsure what she wants I think they have hit the nail on the head.. There is a thing as short term chemistry but it always ends up that : short term, long lasting chemistry doesn't happen in the first hours etc of meeting someone imo ( only in very rare cases )
fishtaco Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Yea im defo out for the moment! Out of intrest what type of things when you say : something else?? You never know, everyone is in a different situation, and have different insecurities. But it could be... say ego boost to have a guy hanging off of her, show you around her family as proof that she's not a lesbian, likes to have guys hovering to help her move or other manual labor in case she needs it, make someone jealous, or it could be as simple as she feels bad turning you down, so she thinks she's doing you a favor by being nice to you and including you in her life as if you were best buds. It's cool to be friends, in fact there's a tiny chance that as soon as you hook up with other women she'll change her mind, it's fairly common for women to like men that other women like. But like phineas' point, don't get dragged in... she's low on the totem pole until her status changes.
ChatroomHero Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Why is her mum liking me the kiss of death for?? As for posters saying she is unsure what she wants I think they have hit the nail on the head.. There is a thing as short term chemistry but it always ends up that : short term, long lasting chemistry doesn't happen in the first hours etc of meeting someone imo ( only in very rare cases ) Because she is not interested and you want her to be interested, you need to realize that some nice guy her mommy likes will not up her interest. Your only hope is to become the forbidden fruit. If you met someone you had no interest in, but your mom loved, would it make you interested? Nope.
truth_seeker Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 She doesn't know what she wants but she loves the attention & flirting between the two of you. She may have a FWB who won't commit or she has a list of guys she wants to date first & keeping you back burnered just in case. This ^^ She likes you but not enough - at least right now - to date you. Yet, she is holding on to you just in case she starts to like you or other options fall through... I would look for other women. Since you like her so much, keep your distance. Also, I would recommend, if she contacts you, that you mention another woman is in the picture now. Let her know you don't wait around for no one.
Author wildtrac77 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 Because she is not interested and you want her to be interested, you need to realize that some nice guy her mommy likes will not up her interest. Your only hope is to become the forbidden fruit. If you met someone you had no interest in, but your mom loved, would it make you interested? Nope. Yea I see your point, her mum is defo keen on me and dropped several hints ( very subtle!! ) about me and this girl dating.. So now the mother really likes me how do I turn it around... ( without going too far!! ) and saying im no good and telling her daughter shouldn't date me??
Author wildtrac77 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 This ^^ She likes you but not enough - at least right now - to date you. Yet, she is holding on to you just in case she starts to like you or other options fall through... I would look for other women. Since you like her so much, keep your distance. Also, I would recommend, if she contacts you, that you mention another woman is in the picture now. Let her know you don't wait around for no one. Yea I think you are right she does like me but is unsure/ thinks there is someone better/ will have instant chemistry with etc etc ( like she did when she met her last long term ex but that was a long time ago and clearly wasn't much help as it didn't work out long long term with him!! Prob is we get on so well,have far too much in common too quick to build that chemistry easily, can both talk for hours about anything/everything and I guess its just too easy ( if that makes sense ) too quick.. but hence the fact we do have so much in common/are quite alike in many ways etc and she has most of the things/qualitys I look for in someone is why im thinking of throwing my dating rule book out the window and staying friends ( if we had met in a more normal way the pressure wouldn't have been there to date so quick and im sure we would have started hanging out as friends then moved to dating.. ) So you reckon I should go cold turkey and wait for her to get in touch with me?
ChatroomHero Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Yea I see your point, her mum is defo keen on me and dropped several hints ( very subtle!! ) about me and this girl dating.. So now the mother really likes me how do I turn it around... ( without going too far!! ) and saying im no good and telling her daughter shouldn't date me?? It's too late to change her mother's opinion but if her mother drops that hint in front of her, tell her mom you only see the two of you as friends. Let the girl know you have moved on and become a little aloof with her. You don't need to screw her over or treat her like crap, but if she gets flirty or tries to treat you like a boyfriend, tell her to stop, you don't want to lead her on. Not saying it is the best thing in the end but I have been rejected before and pulled a 180 like I lost romantic interest completely (because I basically moved on) and it did up the interest a bit on the other end. It was like they felt like, "hey why aren't you after me anymore?". I am not big on games because I feel like you trick someone into a relationship but soon their true feelings will come back. But in your case maybe it will get that "spark" she's looking for. Being "mom's favorite" probably won't ever work for you but it could work against you.
Author wildtrac77 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 It's too late to change her mother's opinion but if her mother drops that hint in front of her, tell her mom you only see the two of you as friends. Let the girl know you have moved on and become a little aloof with her. You don't need to screw her over or treat her like crap, but if she gets flirty or tries to treat you like a boyfriend, tell her to stop, you don't want to lead her on. Not saying it is the best thing in the end but I have been rejected before and pulled a 180 like I lost romantic interest completely (because I basically moved on) and it did up the interest a bit on the other end. It was like they felt like, "hey why aren't you after me anymore?". I am not big on games because I feel like you trick someone into a relationship but soon their true feelings will come back. But in your case maybe it will get that "spark" she's looking for. Being "mom's favorite" probably won't ever work for you but it could work against you. Well every time her mom dropped hints I changed the subject asap! Yea I agree I hate playing games, life is too short imo for that crap but seems that blokes are forced into doing it so they can get with the right girl and not just a chick for the sake of it!! and it seems to get worse in this respect as you get older!!! As for her being keen.. well only been a hour since she got home from hols and she has already txt me asking how are things with me... for someone that only wants to be friends it seems fast to me if she only see's me as a Friend!!
Author wildtrac77 Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 (edited) **Update ** Hi, Following on from my thread a few days ago I would love peoples take on the following : Girl gets back from hols ( no contact thru holiday )and texts me less than two hours after getting home, I take a day to reply with a friendly txt, she then replys 30 mins later with a flirty ish txt ( including giving me a nickname and using a lot of smileys ) making myself less available I take two whole days to reply with another friendly txt ( but also using the odd smiley ) she then replys an hour later and ref the above I wait another two days to txt her back and then again she replys an hour later.. What I don't get is that she just wants to start off as friends( but im playing it cool ) but seems really fast to txt me ( much quicker etc than any of my genuine females friends reply ) so what is the score with txting me so quick after she got home and replying so fast to my txts?? Edited June 28, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator merged update thread into first thread
BeyondtheClouds Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Labels have their use but they can be dangerous as well. She wants to label the relationship between as just "friends." Be careful then with how she acts towards you and what her expectations of you are. Decide what you call a date. Decide what you call just hanging. Would you do the same things / behave the same way around one of your male buddies? Also, if you are interested in finding a gf, be careful not to let this woman get in the way of your finding one. Don't share info with her about your dates. Don't take her around places where you expect to meet other women.
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