LostGirl11 Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Instead of remembering and dwelling on the good times I had with my ex I remind myself of the many times he treated me poorly, which helps in a way, but it kind of makes me angry, which makes me cry. (Angry tears) But then I want to contact the jerk and tell him what a nasty person he is. I think I'm going to end up hating him. Is this a good way to help me heal or is it unhealthy? Does anyone else do this? I'm 7 days NC.
lop98 Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 I did, and for the first month when I was still aching to get in contact with him I added reminders on my phone for every two hours, and titled them with a summary of how he hurt me. It definitely served its purpose..
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 16, 2013 Author Posted June 16, 2013 I did, and for the first month when I was still aching to get in contact with him I added reminders on my phone for every two hours, and titled them with a summary of how he hurt me. It definitely served its purpose.. When I start missing him I think of a time when he had me in tears. Which was a lot! I just hope this doesn't make me bitter.
SimonSerenade Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 For the first few days I was bitter, angry, desperate and majorly upset, she left me, she took my money, flat out left me over a text message and refused to talk to me let alone see me, she made me feel like i was genuinely a bad guy who didn't deserve a respectful break up. I looked back on the relationship and everything bad she did, she talked to me like crap and felt it was justified, she messed me around so I never truly knew where I stood, she rejected me and made me feel ugly and worthless, she broke every promise she ever made, she just took my kind and forgiving nature for granted, she knew I was a good guy who wouldn't leave her side so she took advantage of that, she made me feel like I meant nothing to nobody. At first I was so angry but then I realised I deserved better than to have to look back and feel so much hate and self doubt, I'll never hear from her again, I'll never get an apology and I'll never get a thank you for anything I did for her and that's fine because I know who I am, she nearly broke me, she nearly took that person away from me but she didn't, I realised just because she could treat something good like that, doesnt mean someone more deserving out there shouldn't have the best of me. Right now I'm butt hurt over all of this but in time I'll get over it, on the brighter side at least I don't have to look over my shoulder for the next time I'm not wanted anymore and I don't have to be treated like crap anymore. I geuss my point is, don't live in anger or regret, be the person you know and love, find comfort in loving who you are and rising above these conflicting feelings, nothing can change the past or what you went through but you can shape your present and future how and whichever way makes you happy. 1
Hopeinme Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Simon serenade, you are so strong! I am sure you will find someone someday who truly deserves you for who you are. 1
Hopeinme Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Lostgirl, I guess in a way it is good that you remember the bad stuff. It might help you to get over him faster. Try to distract thoughts of him and be good to yourself. Love x
carhill Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 OP, IMO it's perfectly normal and healthy to experience the 'bad' at the forefront of your thoughts and feelings at this juncture, as this breakup is still fresh. My advice would be, as you move through the grief process, to leave a place in your heart open to value the good you experienced, for you, while you walked the path of life for a period with this person. It will all balance out eventually. Good luck.
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 16, 2013 Author Posted June 16, 2013 Lostgirl, I guess in a way it is good that you remember the bad stuff. It might help you to get over him faster. Try to distract thoughts of him and be good to yourself. Love x I hope so. I hate angry tears I hate being a girl. I guess being angry stops me from missing him...
Hopeinme Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Sigh. I know what you mean by you hate angry tears. It is a helpless feeling. But please be strong and please do not give up, it will get better before it gets worse as they say. Dont say that you hate being a girl, its perfectly okay to feel this way and we are all just human hugs x
SimonSerenade Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Simon serenade, you are so strong! I am sure you will find someone someday who truly deserves you for who you are. Thanks, I really appreciate that you will find that someone too, from reading your previous posts, your a very strong person and you've held yourself together so well, never lose faith in that person cause your a damn good person.
Hopeinme Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Thanks, I really appreciate that you will find that someone too, from reading your previous posts, your a very strong person and you've held yourself together so well, never lose faith in that person cause your a damn good person. :') xx I hope we all continue remaining strong.
escafeld Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Right now I'm butt hurt over all of this but in time I'll get over it, on the brighter side at least I don't have to look over my shoulder for the next time I'm not wanted anymore and I don't have to be treated like crap anymore. What a great observation...you're liberated if you hold that view! 1
aloneinaz Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 I went thru and exercise that I read someone where. It was eye opening to say the least. I wrote on my notes on my I pad my ex's pro's and con's. Holy $hit! Talk about lopsided. Pros- 4 Con's 19 I was being very honest too. It made me feel terrible that i knew all her short comings yet I didn't dump her nasty butt! 1
forgetmenot75 Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Hi lostgirl, I read you are taking some medication. Dont feel sad, and do whatever it takes for you to heal. Anti anxiety medication is addictive indeed, but if you take them for 2 weeks, everything will be fine. I've been there too And I think it's perfectly healthy to remember the bad moments with your ex. Just to getting him off the pedestal we've put him. You'll be fine, I promise (so I have to promise to myself the same thing)
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