Robertowenthebest Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Hi All, I'll start with a bit (lot) of background info. I met a friend of a friend at a gathering a couple of years ago. A few months later she made contact via Facebook, we spoke online and on Skype for a couple of months. We met up once, and it went really well, but after that I struggled to get her to meet up again. Eventually we stopped talking online properly, and she got a boyfriend a few months later. About 7 months back she broke up with her boyfriend, and then 3 months later I bumped into her at my work (I work in a supermarket), and she said I should contact her when I'm free. I did, we went out for drinks, and got on really well, so then drove somewhere else to get a hot chocolate, then I dropped her home, said goodbye with a hug, and she told me to text her when I got home safely (I was driving back to uni that night). I texted her when I got there, she said she was relieved, so all seemed good. A couple of weeks alter, I asked her if she was free to meet up again, but had no response. I tried once more, then called her - we had a chat, but she said she wasn't free (I'm sure she could have found time). Shortly after, I discovered that she was back with her boyfriend, so I'm guessing that's why she'd seemingly lost interest. Anyway, about a month ago I realised they weren't together anymore, and she didn't seem upset about it like last time, so I think it is completely over with them. The other day she came into my work again (with her brother) and said we should meet up soon. She told me the date she finishes exams, so we should do something after then. Now for the questions. The date she finishes her exams is in a couple of days' time. Does this sound like genuine interest to you lot - did she see our meet-ups as a date or is she just being friendly? I really do want to meet up with her, so how soon after she finishes exams should I contact her?? Finally, last time we met we went for drinks - after that I joked about being cheesy and going bowling, which she mentioned when she told me we should meet. Should I suggest that we do that, or are there any better date ideas?? Also, how should I make it clear that I'm thinking of it as a date? Sorry for the incredibly long post, looking forward to your opinions!
TaraMaiden Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Oh, you are so easy, aren't you? Breaks up with BF? You'll do. Back with him? You're out. Breaks up again? You'll do. You're a gap-filler. A distraction. Someone to while the time away with. She fits you in when it's convenient to her. An 'option'. Never be an option to someone when you should be a priority. She's messing with you. Has no intention of getting serious with you, but you're a great back-up guy to flirt with and to get attention from. She loves it. Please - honey. By all means keep seeing her, and treat all of this lightly....but the fact that she went back to her BF when clearly, she was free and you were free - and she still chose him... Hellooo??
Author Robertowenthebest Posted June 16, 2013 Author Posted June 16, 2013 I appreciate that, but the interest was started before she even knew her (ex) boyfriend, and it was before then that we had a first date, and Skyped each other all the time. I completely understand that I might just be a distraction, but I'm going to overlook that for now to see how it goes. I'd still like to contact her, so when would be the best time? Where should I take her?
TaraMaiden Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Yeah. The interest started before she even knew her ex-BF - and still nothing happened. I'd sit back and let her do the running. Let her decide to contact you again. Let her decide where to go. Let her pay her way, too. This isn't anything special, and doesn't honestly look as if it ever will be. You're in her Friend-Zone. A buddy. A good pal. When you're in that circle, it's equal shares and everyone just goes along for the ride, but pays their own way.
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