ObsceneBlue Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 I'm new to this forum, or forums in general, so please bear with my ignorance of them. For confusion sake, I'll name the involved with a couple of letters I suppose I should start with a simple timeline of events than have lead to my conflict. Otherwise I'll likely have to explain bit by bit and that just seems as though it would take an eternity. Possibly, just needing to vent. I started dating a girl<AB> some 4 1/2 years ago, it was all peaches and cream until she had a miscarriage, quite early in the relationship. Things were rough for some time until she eventually said she had cheated, after a long discussion we decided to stay together with her saying it had happened due to "my lack of support" over the miscarriage. Shortly after that she was pregnant again, we moved in together, she birthed my Baby. Time were sporadically rocky at best, but I pushed forward believing that I had created a family and it was supposed to be difficult at times. Fast forward a couple of years and we have had another child<CD>. To this point the relationship has never honestly improved, just small periods of peace. Finally she makes some odd comments to me, I became extremely suspicious of her activities and checked her phone one night only to learn I was right. After three weeks of discussions she finally gave me a complete story to which I felt she was no longer hiding something. The truth would include that I was not the father to our second child. My cousin<EF>, with whom I was quite close, was the father and she had been sleeping with him throughout our relationship and had in fact started dating me to piss him off for choosing to stay with his wife as opposed to leaving and dating AB. Claiming she stayed with me because I was a "safe bet" and that she would "try" in our relationship by not going to EF for weeks at a time. This all came to a head about 8 months ago. Devastated, depressed, upset, all of it I was naturally. I have since gotten past all of that and am picking up and moving on. The difficulty with all of this is: 1. I have decided that her actions warranted me seeking custody of my Baby, her actions would include AB taking Baby with her to "see" EF. My main problem with this is during the past 8 months AB had repeatedly restricted my access to Baby and in seeking custody I feel as though I am being just a selfish as AB. I feel it is very important for Baby's mental health to remove her as best I can from being immediately involved in AB's day to day dealings, but certainly not from her life. Also, even though she's still quite young and likely not to remember anything, I'm afraid of Baby being upset with me for the stress I'll be putting her through, maybe more so when she gets older and eventually asks why 2 are not 1. 2. This past week, after not having thought of AB is such fashion for a few months. I have begun feeling as though if she were to want some reconciliation, that we could get things to work. I don't want her around, she's a lair and very child-like in my opinion. We were in court recently, so I have seen her more than what I normally might. Additionally, I saw CD moving and playing around the last time I returned Baby back to AB and it was CD's birthday very recently. All this doesn't really explain to me why I would be wanting her back around. Sorry for being so long winded.
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