why do some break ups end up in getting back together while mine never does?

[C.Bradley]

Hey guys,

 

I'm wondering why I hear about all these people that break up and get back together while all of my relationships go the exact same way. Which is: boyfriend suddenly becomes distant , pulls away and dumps me a few weeks later and never speaks to me again. I can't figure out why I'm a nice girl with a great personality and a great future ahead of me, I would say (not to be egotistical) that I'm very beautiful.

 

just for once I'd like to get back and try again with my boyfriend, I really dont want this pattern to keep continuing.

[C.Bradley]

Here's my current situation : my boyfriend of half a year started acting distant a few weeks ago and broke up with me out of the blue 6 days ago. The break up was incredibly friendly, almost doesn't feel real. He just said he doesn't get more and more excited every time he sees me (we live about 2 hours away from each other , both finishing up university so it's a long distance relationship ) and he said that can't say he loves me.

 

I'm really having a rough time dealing with this because I liked and still like him a lot , we've met eachother's families and everything was going so good.

 

I've been doing the "no contact" thing for the past 6 days and he hasn't contacted me either.

 

I really want him back , any tips or advice?

 

Thanks

CB

[marko343]

You need to go no contact for well over a month. My ex and I went out for two years and we started to become distant. Subsequently she ended it. Delete from your life and try to move on. My ex re added me on Facebook after a month of no contact and we started to talk again. We eventually dated and then became bf/gf again. It wasnt one way, you both have to make the effort. If you do start talking again play it cool, don't come across needy and desperate. If you use no contact wisely you should be fine. It's all about you now.

[PR08]

I really want him back , any tips or advice?

 

Move on and start living life for you. That makes people attractive as hell!

[thefooloftheyear]

Try to look at yourself for reasons..You sound terrific...Are you too clingy/needy? As a guy I can say that this type of stuff really turns guys off...

 

TFY

[groupergirl]

I am not sure about tips. But seriously continue the No Contact - but even still that might not do it.

 

My Ex of 4 weeks does not even miss me. He is with another girl. That quick.

 

I am growing stronger by the minute and will tell you, if a man loves you - you will know it.

 

If a man does not love you - You will know it!!!

[C.Bradley]

we dated for almost half a year, we met each others parents. He seriously dumped me out of the blue

[Sneaky]

I don't know a lot, I know it hurts, I'm hurting too. So I'll just give the same advice as was given to me and which I pass on. The dumper has been thinking about this for a while so you're not going to talk him out of it.

 

The best thing you can do is cut all contact as you seem to be doing and maybe he'll see what his life is like without you and start to miss you and if he doesn't then it isn't meant to be.

 

I'm also going to add a story because it cheered me up when I heard it recently. My cousin got dumped a while ago (before me) and she was devastated, she loved this dude. She slowly moved on and some months passed and now? He's driving her crazy with constantly calling her trying to get back together while she has moved on and has found someone new.

[OwlSoul]

If you'll continue doing the same things, you'll be getting the same results.

Most likely you chose the same type of guys and act yourself in the same way. I mean, the guys are not even thinking about their future and who are not sure what they will be doing. Even if you are the most beautiful girl, have a nice personality and etc. you'll still be dumped if the guy is not sure what he is going to do and who he is. Serious relationships are not about getting exited every time you guys meet

In this case he is just finishing the university, he probably did not even start working in his field.

[Ajax]

I'm sorry you're going through this, I know it hurts, but considering what you've stated, why do you feel this is a relationship worth holding on to?

 

If what you said about him pulling away and being distant the last few weeks is true, was the breakup really out of the blue? Can you honestly say that his behavior didn't raise some red flags? If not, then it should have.

 

He said that he can't tell you that he loves you. Do you not believe him? I'm sure you're a wonderful woman and that you did have strong feelings for him, but just because you felt it doesn't mean that he did.

 

It really stinks when your feelings aren't reciprocated. It's happened to me, and I've been on both sides of it. But the best thing you can do is to accept that this relationship has reached its end and start to move forward.

[JustAReformedGirl]

Sorry, but it sounds like he's already made his decision. I don't think you'll be able to get him back. If he wants to come back, he will; the question is, if he does after some time has passed...will you let him? By then, you might be over him.

 

It's difficult, and without any real closure, it's going to hurt for awhile...but, it's important that you let yourself grieve. Focus on you, for a change.

 

What makes you happy? What things do you enjoy? What do you look for in a partner?

 

Do some soul-searching, and keep yourself busy with other interests.

[C.Bradley]

Exactly, I'm so glad I'm not the only person that thinks the part about getting more excited was strange. Thanks

Edited June 23, 2013 by C.Bradley

[Bozena]

Well in my opinion once you break up, especially for reasons that are not external (i.e illness, distance, health related problems) even if you get back together you will break up again.

I really cannot give you any advice rather than stick to no contact. It it better for you even if it doesn't work.

For me every boyfriend I had returned (except the last one who broke up with me a few weeks ago). But the problem is that the time that they returned I didn't want them anymore. Some of them even returned after 12 years. So I didn't even remembered them. But I have no idea how they returned. OK with some of them I still had contact but some of them I didn't even remembered them. But if he told you that he is not in love with you my humble opinion is to let him be.

He might come if he doesn't find something better, but this isn't something you should be proud of.

As for your character there might be other staff included. You are pretty and great as you mention, but maybe you are clingy, needy or not good at sex. who knows?