hiyaimkayleigh Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 My ex (not even 2 weeks since we broke up) has been saying that he does want to try again and what needs to change (talk more openly, spend less time together ect), but he's also said he doesn't know when we will try again, "it could be months, years, who knows, but it will happen". He has also said he wants to remain friends for the time being. He decided too that this is more a "break" instead of a "break up" because we are going to get back together (so he says, I'm not holding out!). He even said he would tell me if anything was going to/did happen with another girl(I know he wouldn't!) However, I've just found out today he's been off flirting with other girls, and even arranged for one to go stay at his flat on Saturday (no prizes for guessing what's happening there!). Thing is, this girls seemed to be interested in him all throughout our relationship. Is he just wanting a bit of attention? Or is he looking for a rebound? All these girls he's talking to are also complete opposite to what I've heard/known his "type" to be. Is that just a way of moving on? Also can anyone shed some light on rebounds for me? Like how long do they last ect? I do truly believe he is the man I want to be with, and the one, so of course I want to reconcile in the future, but I'm not holding my breath. I've realised he's putting himself out there already, so I am too! I want to go NC, and I have tried, but right now it's so hard, 1) knowing theres a new girl on the scene already, and 2) we seem to have slipped up not so long ago so there might be something there, if you get what I mean. (I still haven't come to terms with it myself). Any advice on what to do?
Suave Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 He is making himself readily available and you are being strung along for the ride. Unless you want to sit by watching him move on without you, I would highly suggest you cease all contact with him for the time being. Make him see what life without you will be like. Otherwise, he has you exactly where he wants you. 1
TaraMaiden Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Any advice on what to do? Yup. He's a cake-eater. Wants to roam and sow his wild oats, but wants you to hang around and wait for him, so when he's ready, he'll come back for more slices of the same.... NC is difficult. NC is NOT impossible. You just have to evaluate your own worth, esteem, dignity, integrity and loyalty - to yourself - and decide whether he's worth sacrificing all that, just to wait in the wings for his finger to crook in your direction. Giving up the value of yourself turns you into a doormat. Go complete, total and right-across-the-board No Contact. Delete all his details, block/delete him on FB, change your 'phone number (not impossible, I've done it, twice....) even if you agree with your server to do it by just one digit. Don't be at his beck and call. And live your life for you, as a certainty, not for him as a maybe.... 1
SimonSerenade Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Don't wait around to watch that unfold, there's certain things you cant un experience and that's one of them things, what he's doing is selfish, evil, disgusting and so many other kinds of just not right. I don't know how your feeling right now but he has you wrapped around his finger, a good guy wouldn't do this to the woman he loves and a good woman wouldn't let him, women are strong independent creatures and live on bein vibrant and full pride and respect for themselves, this guy is taking that away from you, cut him loose and don't let him walk all over you like that. You deserve to be somebody's only one, not one of many, I don't think he's rebounding, I think he feels your at a point where things have gotten serious in yôur relationship and now be wants to get something out of his system, this break as he called it isn't to do with you so don't blame yourself, some guys are just fickle and heartless like that. Trust me, cut ties and don't accept anything less than being the one for him, you know you couldn't accept it any other way in your heart so why pretend just so he can do whatever he wants while your hanging round waiting for him?. If it's worth anything I've been there before and it does get easier, especially since right how he's doing the worst thing imaginable, let him come back to you but don't wait for him, if a nice guy comes along, give him a shot. Sometimes you have to stop and realise what your worth ad its a lot more than this, trust me.
PR08 Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Don't worry about rebounds or academic questions about how long they will last and things like that. This part of your life is over now, so let it rest. You are just going to get hurt if you try to hang around and make yourself available. If you do that, chances are he will never come back. Stop all communication right now. Sit down and work out who you want to be in life and start working towards it with everything you have. Start living a kickass life and soon you won't even be thinking about him. Never live your life for someone else, let alone put it on hold for them to figure out what they want in theirs. You can never get an ex back by waiting for them or trying to be friends. The only people that I have ever known to have had a second, successful try at a relationship have been the ones that fought through their depression and their mourning period, moved on and went out and lived their lives instead of worrying about what the other person was doing.
Recommended Posts