PDunny Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 (edited) So after studying a bit, I find that my ex has experienced grass is greener about 7 times in our 7 year relationship. Some background: I love this woman to death. I will do anything for her. I have forgiven her for unimaginable things that has cost me my family, my job, my personal life and my sanity. I know, I should leave her alone and move on but that is not my objective and never will be. We broke up when I found out she was cheating on me again. She is now living with her new boyfriend at his father's house. I am extremely confident this will not last long. She has remained in touch with me and we are attempting to be friendly. I am doing the nice guy and waiting for her to open her eyes and accept that she loves me. I know she is currently fighting the urge to love me. My questions are: How long does it take to realize the grass is not greener? Should I be here as a friend for her? Should I try and help her financially or make her realize he can't do that for her? I am really lost, I love this girl with all of my heart. She almost cried when I told her that I believe that if I let her go and she comes back that it was meant to be. She considers herself my 'Jenny' from forrest gump. I want her to love me. What can I do? Edited June 16, 2013 by PDunny
Pisces13 Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 We just have to let them go and roll with the punches mate. There is really nothing you can do. You can't force someone to want to be with you, they need to go out and work it all out for themselves. It's not for us to say who or what they're doing is right or wrong, it's their life, their decision. It is painful as all hell for us to sit back and watch, but all you can do is try to focus on yourself and deal with it in the best way possible. 1
CptSaveAho Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 How long does it take to realize the grass is not greener? A LONG TIME Should I be here as a friend for her? F**K No Should I try and help her financially or make her realize he can't do that for her? Look at Lindsey Lohan and the people like Charlie Sheen and her bazillionare lovers... hows that working out for her... they keep paying her bills and she never learns, grows up, or suffers Let her suffer on her own and dont help her I am really lost, I love this girl with all of my heart. She almost cried when I told her that I believe that if I let her go and she comes back that it was meant to be. She considers herself my 'Jenny' from forrest gump. You know this is a complete and total insult right? That girl used forrest gump. She whored herself out, did drugs and only came back to him when no one else wanted her or she needed something from him I don't want to be dirty, I want her to love me. What can I do? Nothing... people in gigs are complete and total idiots. The bigger idiots are the ones that date them or want to date them or want them to love them. These people aren't capable of love, have no concept of love, and will destroy everything in their path 3
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 So after studying a bit, I find that my ex has experienced grass is greener about 7 times in our 7 year relationship. Some background: I love this woman to death. I will do anything for her. I have forgiven her for unimaginable things that has cost me my family, my job, my personal life and my sanity. I know, I should leave her alone and move on but that is not my objective and never will be. We broke up when I found out she was cheating on me again. She is now living with her new boyfriend at his father's house. I am extremely confident this will not last long. She has remained in touch with me and we are attempting to be friendly. I am doing the nice guy and waiting for her to open her eyes and accept that she loves me. I know she is currently fighting the urge to love me. My questions are: How long does it take to realize the grass is not greener? Should I be here as a friend for her? Should I try and help her financially or make her realize he can't do that for her? I am really lost, I love this girl with all of my heart. She almost cried when I told her that I believe that if I let her go and she comes back that it was meant to be. She considers herself my 'Jenny' from forrest gump. I don't want to be dirty, I want her to love me. What can I do? For someone who has done this....you cant MAKE anyone love you. It's a feeling, not a switch. I can also tell you I have done the EXACT same mistakes you have done. Almost to a tee my friend. I have made mistake after mistake after mistake until about nine months later, this realization has come though. You are not going to like what I am about to say so I am sorry: You cannot change anyone. No matter what she says or what she does, you cannot change anyone. 7 times in 7 years?!?! Are these actual numbers or are you exaggerating? Good god almighty man. You HAVE to stop. Your objective is LIVE YOUR LIFE man. Youve wasted 7 years on a girl who uses you! I know you love her and care about her thats fine, but Stevie Wonder locked in a bomb shelter with earplugs can tell you that it wont work out. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm talking through experience. People (including me) get mad when they hear someone say something they dont like because thats not what they want to hear. I KNOW thats not what you want to hear, and it sucks SO much, but you have to stop being a doormat. She knows you will take her back at ANYTIME. You are a doormat. In fact, you are her spare house in the Bronx. It's not the best house in her eyes, so she'll keep trying to find mansions and keep going back to the Bronx when the mansion doesnt work. HAVE MORE PRIDE THAN THAT PLEASE!!! Here is what you do: 1. There is no "timetable" If she has done it 7 times, it wont change. You are keeping setting yourself up for failure. 2.NO FRIENDS!!! NO NO NO NO. Thats the big problem in this. She has both worlds. She has you for emotional comfort if something goes wrong and other guy to have.....you know. Do you want that? Of course you don't but that is what you are doing 3. You dont make her realize anything. Again, you cant change anyone. She will figure all this out on her own. You dont need her to figure out anything. Figure out you. She is not fighting any urge to love you man. Sorry, I know that really hurts. If she loved you, she would be with you. Thats such a hard realization that I had just had to come to after months of dealing with pain and torture. I too lost my job, my friends, my house, and my car......to realize this. DO NOT make the same mistakes. Do not talk to her, to not contact her, do nothing. Delete social media sites, do not stalk....let her go. I know MUCH easier said than done and I can promise you my life saving that you wont do it 100 percent, just try. You are making your life worse. You live ONCE....ONLY ONCE. Go live 2
smokey bear Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 A LONG TIME F**K No Look at Lindsey Lohan and the people like Charlie Sheen and her bazillionare lovers... hows that working out for her... they keep paying her bills and she never learns, grows up, or suffers Let her suffer on her own and dont help her You know this is a complete and total insult right? That girl used forrest gump. She whored herself out, did drugs and only came back to him when no one else wanted her or she needed something from him Nothing... people in gigs are complete and total idiots. The bigger idiots are the ones that date them or want to date them or want them to love them. These people aren't capable of love, have no concept of love, and will destroy everything in their path Geez oh when did you get so bitter again. Get out and empty your balls dude ;-) xxxx
JustAReformedGirl Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 So after studying a bit, I find that my ex has experienced grass is greener about 7 times in our 7 year relationship. Some background: I love this woman to death. I will do anything for her. I have forgiven her for unimaginable things that has cost me my family, my job, my personal life and my sanity. I know, I should leave her alone and move on but that is not my objective and never will be. We broke up when I found out she was cheating on me again. She is now living with her new boyfriend at his father's house. I am extremely confident this will not last long. She has remained in touch with me and we are attempting to be friendly. I am doing the nice guy and waiting for her to open her eyes and accept that she loves me. I know she is currently fighting the urge to love me. My questions are: How long does it take to realize the grass is not greener? Should I be here as a friend for her? Should I try and help her financially or make her realize he can't do that for her? I am really lost, I love this girl with all of my heart. She almost cried when I told her that I believe that if I let her go and she comes back that it was meant to be. She considers herself my 'Jenny' from forrest gump. I want her to love me. What can I do? While your dedication is sweet, it may very well be misguided. You can't make someone love you, hon. It just doesn't work that way. I'm sure, to some degree, she does love you; but if she has put you through this seven times within a seven year relationship, it really doesn't sound like it's going to change. I commend you for your optimistic viewpoint, but how long can you really do this to yourself? What happens that day, when she doesn't come back, as you predict? What if she does finally stick with one of the guys she keeps leaving you for? It's difficult to know what type of person she is, but I'm sure she doesn't intentionally hurt you. That being said? Every time you forgive her and take her back, you're only enabling her behaviour. Whether she consciously realizes it or not, every time her other relationship fails, you are her safety net. I encourage you to stop doing that. In fact, if you stop making yourself so readily available, it may very well be the eye opener she needs. You can be a friend to her, but I really suggest it goes no further than that. She's never going to break the cycle if she's not given a rude awakening. 1
smokey bear Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Do you know what total, complete, unconditional love is? It's loving someone so much, that you let them go. I have no advice for you. 7 years, you've wasted, and she can treat you like utter dog sh-t, and you keep coming back for more. What a waste of a life. It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all
OJ loved Nicole Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Geez oh when did you get so bitter again. Get out and empty your balls dude ;-) xxxx He's not bitter, he's 100% right. If 5% of the people here listened to that type of advice we wouldn't have these threads on LS: -"HELP-She texted me "hi" omg, what do I do?"- You delete+change you're number. -"Feeling suicidal"- You have zero self worth. -"This is so hard"- You choose to make it hard. -"I feel like braking down?"- And what good will that ever do? I left here for a while, when I came back....... same EXACT stories, only different user names.
simplyamazing Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all Nah, not really. Loving, and then losing, sucks.
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