Has anybody ever rejected somebody for being too shallow even though?

[JuneJulySeptember]

Has anybody ever rejected somebody for being too shallow even though you met their standards?

 

OK, first let me say that by shallow I don't mean it's necessarily bad, just cares about looks more. It makes the post shorter.

 

Like say, for instance there's a very handsome, tall man and he thinks you're hot, but you have a waitress who is maybe a little chubby but average in the face and he comments he could never be attracted to a woman like that. And maybe you think that's not too attractive even though he thinks you're hot.

 

Or maybe you're a guy and you hear your girlfriend say she'd never date a short guy even though it doesn't matter to you, because you're 6 feet tall?

 

Would that/has that ever bothered anybody before? Or is this just totally unrealistic?

[MrNate 2.0]

This is such a weird post.

[charlietheginger]

I went on a date with a woman that made fun of othet

Women....

"oh god how trashy look at her"

Ofcoarse the girl was wearing trashy stripper clothes

I had to just say ya what a skank....

 

But in fact the girl had a banging body and face

So who cares how she was dressed.

 

It was a turn off in my eyes anytime someone cuts

Down another to make themselves look better.

 

So yea she was shallow about others also joked about

A fat guy calling him santas on vacation

[BradJacobs]

Have I slept with them yet?

 

I ignore a lot of things up until that point. Afterwards, I start to pick up on things ...

[JuneJulySeptember]

This is such a weird post.

 

You don't understand it?

 

Let's say I woke up tomorrow and I looked like Brad Pitt. Obviously, my problems with women would be over.

 

But, then I start dating a woman, and she sees a guy who looks just like what I look like now and she comments, "That guy was unattractive. I could never date someone like that."

 

I think that would bother me because it means if I was different on the outside, she wouldn't have me.

 

I dunno, this is crap I think about. I'm obviously pretty demented.

[runningfar]

Has anybody ever rejected somebody for being too shallow even though you met their standards?

 

OK, first let me say that by shallow I don't mean it's necessarily bad, just cares about looks more. It makes the post shorter.

 

Like say, for instance there's a very handsome, tall man and he thinks you're hot, but you have a waitress who is maybe a little chubby but average in the face and he comments he could never be attracted to a woman like that. And maybe you think that's not too attractive even though he thinks you're hot.

 

Or maybe you're a guy and you hear your girlfriend say she'd never date a short guy even though it doesn't matter to you, because you're 6 feet tall?

 

Would that/has that ever bothered anybody before? Or is this just totally unrealistic?

 

 

Somebody being extremely shallow even if it didn't effect me would really bother me.

 

Why would anyone make those comments anyhow?? But yeah, I see being very shallow (not having preferences but to the degree of shallow) as a character flaw and I would count it against someone.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Somebody being extremely shallow even if it didn't effect me would really bother me.

 

Why would anyone make those comments anyhow?? But yeah, I see being very shallow (not having preferences but to the degree of shallow) as a character flaw and I would count it against someone.

 

Well, the comments could come out at any time. You could imply that he could date a gal that was really cool, and he might say, "No way. She's physically unattractive."

 

But as far as the bolded. Is there really such a thing as 'being shallow'? Almost 100% of people believe that looks are necessary, so needing whatever level of looks you need is never deemed as shallow and rejecting a person just because of looks is never shallow.

[xxoo]

When I chose mate, it was important to me that he would be attracted to me older, possibly fatter, with wrinkles, after possible mastectomy (cancer in my family), etc. So, yes, I paid attention to comments about other women, and I was turned off by shallowness.

[tbf]

Has anybody ever rejected somebody for being too shallow even though you met their standards?

Yes, quite often.

[runningfar]

Well, the comments could come out at any time. You could imply that he could date a gal that was really cool, and he might say, "No way. She's physically unattractive."

 

But as far as the bolded. Is there really such a thing as 'being shallow'? Almost 100% of people believe that looks are necessary, so needing whatever level of looks you need is never deemed as shallow and rejecting a person just because of looks is never shallow.

 

 

If he's dating me, why am I implying he should date anybody else? Or anything anywhere in that realm?

 

 

Yes. Yes there is.

Going out of your way to make comments about people who are overweight, have a less aesthetically pleasing face, whatever is shallow. Judging somebody for a single feature is shallow.

That's not choosing not to date somebody because you don't feel attraction and politely rejecting an offer. And whether you feel immediate attraction to somebody has no need to come up in a relationship.

 

(Though for me personality means 100x more than looks could. I have never dated people I don't know well ahead of that just for that reason. Gotta work the brain!)

[Eternal Sunshine]

Yes, it would be a flag.

 

My ex did that. He would constantly comment on other women and how they are unattractive for various reasons: thick ankles, chubby fingers, sparse eyebrows (I kid you not), old, fat etc

 

Few months in, he became hyper critical of me

[ThaWholigan]

It had never crossed my mind admittedly - but "shallowness" isn't high on my dealbreaker list.

 

The things you name are issues with respect and decency - I wouldn't put up with it personally, but I wouldn't not date them for not being attracted.

[Floridita]

Yes, it would be a flag.

 

My ex did that. He would constantly comment on other women and how they are unattractive for various reasons: thick ankles, chubby fingers, sparse eyebrows (I kid you not), old, fat etc

 

Few months in, he became hyper critical of me

 

I'm sorry. :(