situation

[Ke_m]

Hi I would live advice on this situation , basically I have been talking texting a guy for over two years within the two years I have seen him a handful of times , I always ask if he wants to do something spend time with me but he never does I ask him why and he says he can't drive so it's taxis every we're and right now he's out of work ,

 

I feel really confused as hea told me he loves me and I love him he tells me every day I talk to him all of the time yet I don't get to spend much time with him , I have got to the point now were I am beyond frustrated and it's causing us to argue as I don't understand why if he says he loves me and im his best friend he is putting nothing into making this work , I feel like such a mug, I have bought him things as little treats and for his birthdays Christmases , yet I get nothing in return he once sent me some flowers but that's honestly all he's ever done to make me feel that little bit loved ,

 

I am at the point now were I don't know what to do I know from his past he was with a girl for 2 years he put Everythibg into that relationship he took her on holidays bought her things all the time flowers sent to her works yet me he's done nothing of the sort I know he got his heart broken by his ex and I know he finds it hard to open up . I'm just thinking what can be the problem I am beyond confused and it's hurting me ,

 

I don't feel I'm good enough for him those are my thoughts to why he treats me so little I love him so much for two years I've kept myself single but with the emotions of been in love , can anyone please give me some advice on this situation , I don't want to loose him but it seems I am he lives a single life out with his friends every weekend and plays football during the week yet puts no time or effort into me why would he say he loves me if he's behaving this way

 

I'd appreciate some advice on this situation thank you in advance

Edited June 16, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Cutiepie1976]

We teach people how to treat us, and unfortunately your situation is a classic example of this.

 

Because you accept such shoddy treatment and refuse to walk away, your boyfriend will continue this behavior ad infinitum. You don't respect yourself enough to leave when someone treats you poorly. So sadly, why should he bother? What difference does it make whether he respects you or puts any effort into the relationship? You'll stick around anyway. You won't leave...and you haven't. You love him to bits and can't bear the thought of not being with him. So he can behave as badly as it suits him, and he is. And you're still there trying ever harder to treat him well and do more nice things for him...none of which he deserves. You keep rewarding him for his selfishness and lack of consideration. Eventually, he will tire of this and move on to someone who won't put up with his crap. And you'll feel even worse. Not only because he left despite all the sweet, thoughtful things you did, but also because he'll be "forced" to treat her decently if he doesn't want to be summarily kicked to the curb. She'll get the nice treatment you had hoped for.

 

I'm sure you're frustrated. You've been thoughtful, understanding, tolerant, undemanding. You constantly do nice things for him. Buy him gifts. You sound really sweet. But you also have to learn to expect others to treat you with the same consideration you are giving them. Unfortunately, if you don't, and you aren't, you end up being trampled on like a doormat and are left with your self-esteem in the toilet. A terrible place to find yourself.

 

Dump his selfish butt. It's not going to change.

Edited June 16, 2013 by Cutiepie1976