encryptedsignal Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 (edited) So my last girlfriend of 8 months is almost 20 and nearly 5 years younger than me. We hit it off working together and going to school eventually dated after a couple hook ups and fell in love during the time we dated and got kinda serious. She got her own apartment and worked a job with alot of guys in a kitchen. Shes really attractive sexaully and I know guys hit on her all the time. I was out last friday night playing pool at a bar waiting for her to get off work late. She wouldnt respond to texts or calls so I swing by her place on my way home just to see if she was ok around 1am. I knock on her door and she shuffles to answer it and instead of letting me in she steps out and shuts the door behind her and acts all sleepy like I woke her. There was another guy in there and she was in her skimpy night gown. She lied at first but then she eventually fessed up a guy from work was just spending the night. I freaked out and cursed at the guy inside (i didnt see him though) and stormed off saying its over. Then we argue over text the next morning. She started defensive but then apologized that night. Then I break up on the phone wither her that night. She came and got her stuff the following sunday and we exchange stuff and a hug and me telling her this was hard for me to do. I got to wednesday and broke NC to text her asking why she did that but It messed it all up and just got her mad. She told me shes moving on and I should too and went ignoring me after that. I feel I didnt give the whole situation enough time and for us to talk. I cant really tell if this breakup was justified but It hurt to know she was hanging out with another guy behind my back. She swears nothing happened between them - he came over for some drinks and passed out on the couch, but I dont believe her. Do you feel I was justified or did I overreact to her? We really had a great, healthy reltionship with lots of fun and intimacy. IT sucks to lose someone I loved so suddenly and it hurts to not have her anymore. I want to tell her that but I dont know if it would do anything but make it worse. Oh and I also owe her $40, I might take my time and pay her at my convenience since shes not being so nice to me. Edited June 17, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
LifeGoesOnMan Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 You caught her with another man, of course it's justified.
SimonSerenade Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 Don't let her twist your mind like that, you are justified, if that was my girlfriend id be the exact same way and if the roles were reversed so would she and then some, so don't beat yourself up dude, in your situation with what you saw I would of finished her too, right now she should be the one with regrets, unless your superman your fella ain't going to be comfortable with some random guy crashing on her couch, in my eyes once somebody sleeps with someone else wether there with of without you, there's no going back from that. 2
Author encryptedsignal Posted June 16, 2013 Author Posted June 16, 2013 Yeah, it seems its set in stone its her fault. Im just confused and dont know what made her want to do that. She had never given me a reason not to trust her before. I appreciate the replies
SimonSerenade Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 It's hard to accept but that's how some young women are, your a mature guy and it sounds like she just wasnt ready for what you had to offer and she didn't deserve what you had to offer either, my advice, let her contact you and don't give in for anything other than a truthful genuine apology.
Justletgo Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Sounda all too familiar. You were definitely justified, something like that doesn't need much thought does it. Don't let her manipulate you with her mindtricks, she's just trying to justify what she did. Get back on your horse and keep riding!
escafeld Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 So my last girlfriend of 8 months is almost 20 and nearly 5 years younger than me. We hit it off working together and going to school eventually dated after a couple hook ups and fell in love during the time we dated and got kinda serious. She got her own apartment and worked a job with alot of guys in a kitchen. Shes really attractive sexaully and I know guys hit on her all the time. I was out last friday night playing pool at a bar waiting for her to get off work late. She wouldnt respond to texts or calls so I swing by her place on my way home just to see if she was ok around 1am. I knock on her door and she shuffles to answer it and instead of letting me in she steps out and shuts the door behind her and acts all sleepy like I woke her. There was another guy in there and she was in her skimpy night gown. She lied at first but then she eventually fessed up a guy from work was just spending the night. I freaked out and cursed at the guy inside (i didnt see him though) and stormed off saying its over. Then we argue over text the next morning. She started defensive but then apologized that night. Then I break up on the phone wither her that night. She came and got her stuff the following sunday and we exchange stuff and a hug and me telling her this was hard for me to do. I got to wednesday and broke NC to text her asking why she did that but It messed it all up and just got her mad. She told me shes moving on and I should too and went ignoring me after that. I feel I didnt give the whole situation enough time and for us to talk. I cant really tell if this breakup was justified but It hurt to know she was hanging out with another guy behind my back. She swears nothing happened between them - he came over for some drinks and passed out on the couch, but I dont believe her. Do you feel I was justified or did I overreact to her? We really had a great, healthy reltionship with lots of fun and intimacy. IT sucks to lose someone I loved so suddenly and it hurts to not have her anymore. I want to tell her that but I dont know if it would do anything but make it worse. Oh and I also owe her $40, I might take my time and pay her at my convenience since shes not being so nice to me. I'm with the others with this one, the key for me in your post is the fact she went AWOL on the Friday night and didn't keep you in the loop. If there was nothing sinister in her having a male visitor round she would have been bursting to tell you and ensure she spoke to you whilst he was there.
Author encryptedsignal Posted June 25, 2013 Author Posted June 25, 2013 I have an update. I keep trying NC and breaking it. She ignores my texts except for a book of mine still she still has. I messed up and messaged her last nite that I hated losing her and she replies "I got over you getting in trouble during our relationship but you couldnt handle me having guy friends. Whatever dude" She is all the sudden mad at me for stuff from a long time ago. This really sucks to be hated and have seen her with another guy already the other day at the store. I dont have any girls to turn to right now. And she was all my emotional support and its all I can think about.
Author encryptedsignal Posted June 26, 2013 Author Posted June 26, 2013 Oh man she just tested me she will be coming over tomorrow at 4 for 15 minutes to return my book and I am going nuts! I don't know how to act to her please help!
StrongLass Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 Oh man she just tested me she will be coming over tomorrow at 4 for 15 minutes to return my book and I am going nuts! I don't know how to act to her please help! Act calm, cool and polite. Keep conversation at a minimum and don't let her into your apartment (that kind of thing can lead to another...). If she asks you any invasive questions don't feel like you have to answer them..cause you don't. Then thank her for returning your book and close the door. Bam. Over with no casualties
It's Just Me Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 Encrypted, a girl who really likes/loves a guy does not treat him the way you were treated. As someone else said, she's young and responds far too well to attention from other men. It sucks, but... on the other hand, she's now someone else's problem. When you're ready, be open to someone closer to your own age. There is a huge difference in maturity between a 20 year-old and a 25 year-old. Huge.
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