montreal Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 When i was 16 i became best friends with this guy. We would talk all the time, were in class together, and had the same friends. After a year of being inseparable, he began giving me mixed signals, and finally we decided to try and see if we could work out as something more. At the beginning i wasnt that sure about it all, and he liked me more than i liked him, but with time i began to fall in love. About 4 months after we started going out, i went to this party without him, without eating before, and i drank too much. At that time we had been fighting a lot so i started texting him, breaking up with him. Another really good friend of ours (he, my boyfriend and i were all best friends) went with me to the bathroom and kissed me. We kissed for like 2 minutes until i stopped it. I felt so bad, because even though i was breaking up with my boyfriend (by text, i know thats so horrible) i was still in love with him. Nobody saw us so I decided to ignore the whole thing happened. A week later i got back together with my boyfriend and never told anybody about what had happened. I continued to be friends with the friend i kissed, because we agreed it meant nothing. He is a very relaxed friend and i didnt want that to change anything because i liked being his friend. A couple of months later, the friend told me that he was not sure how he felt about me. That same day, my boyfriend told me he was worried about this friend because he had a feeling he liked me, and i told my boyfriend that that was imposible and not true (even though it was). I was trying to avoid the conflict and my boyfriend potentially finding out about what had happened before. Through word of mouth, he found out about the kiss, but the "friend" changed the story and said I kissed him and he stopped the kiss. He also told my boyfriend about confessing to me his feelings, so since i lied about that, my boyfriend doesnt believe my story about the kiss. Next year im moving for college, so my boyfriend broke up with me because he says he cannot trust me specially if ill be far away. He told me this a week and one day ago, and i have been a wreck. i didnt leave my house for 4 days. I have lost 6 pounds because i have no apetite. I am constantly crying and sad, and everything reminds me of him. To make matters worse, my friends, who are his friends, do not believe me, so i really have no support other than my mom's. I have begged him to give me a chance, but he just wont. I feel like i have lost the most important person in my life, and that i will never find someone like him. He is so perfect. i know this feeling wont last, but in the meantime i just hate myself for what happened. I feel like a victim to thes guy i called my friend, and i regret lying about it just to not deal with the problem. I havenever felt so lonely and sad in my life, i feel empty and out of breath. everything reminds me of him, and i cant cope with it. words of advice? criticism? suggestions? ps sorry for long post
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