m8tt711 Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 I had been dating a girl for just short of 3 years. Both us have tended to drink to much and frankly hang out with the wrong crowd. I am a bartender and she is a hairstylist. All our friends and circle are basically bartenders and or regulars at the bars. Me and my ex were having some rough times. My hours have been long and her schedule was opposite of mine. Our time we did have together was not quality. It was out with friends which usually resulted in too much drinking. Our breaking point resulted in when I got a DUI heading home from work one night. She basically broke up with me that day when I got out of jail. Since then I have been doing a 180. Cut my drinkning down and actually dont care to drink anymore. I learned my lesson. She on the other hand has basically stepped up her going out since we broke up. She goes out almost every night/weekend with people now. I am 30 and she is 31. Im persistent at actually getting out of the industry because it is so toxic and it really wears you down. We have been broken up now for 3 months. Right away after the break up I did the text terrorism basically pleaded begged and said sorry over and over. I admitted way too much fault even though it was basically both of our faults. My mistake was actually getting caught and she has driven home plenty of times when she shouldnt have but she hasnt beem caught. For me it was a wake up call and a blessing in disguise. She still wants to be friends with me. She claims that we can never be a couple again. She will throw some stuff out there here and there like she is testing me. She thinks that we cant go back because my family will hate her. She thinks I havent changed. When we have talked lately I say I am sorry and I tell her I miss her. Its the truth. Maybe I shouldnt say that. Today we talked briefly. She said she wants to be friends but she doesn't want to her that I care about her, I miss her, or I am sorry. She tells me I need to move on but she will bring up stuff that she doesnt think I have changed fully. Honestly we had so much stress in our relationship I think we both took each other for granted. Her brother also moved in with us and that hurt us a ton. Currently I am out of the house and she and her brother are actaully moving out on their own because her house just sold. Im not sure what I should actually do next. I know people say give up and your ex is an ex for a reason. I dated a girl before her whom I almost proposed to. She wasnt the one. Then I met this girl. I never thought I would actually meet someone like her. We went through a lot of turmoil in our relationship from Job losses on both of us. I got my car repo at one point and then got it back. Her house originally was on the market for a year and couldn't sell so we took it off. The longest we have gone with not talking has been about 9 days since our break up. She is still kinda stuck in a circle of people that are bad influences. I dont know how to really wake her up. I only woke up when I hit the rock bottom. Do I go on no contact or do I try and be friends with her so that we can slowly mend our relationship and repair it? She thinks I still havent changed. I have no problem with getting women. Its not a matter of being insecure or anything for me. I get numbers handed to me all the time. I just throw them away. Frankly I am not interested.
Justletgo Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 I'm sorry about hearing that man, just as most things on this board. My breakup was 6 months ago and I still feel the pain, but it has lessened. Do not contact her. It basically comes down to is attraction. If she feels this for you she will want to be with you. Just find your attractive self back, your confidence, your 'fun' etc. And see if this will get her back. What definitely not will get her back is being unattractive by giving her attention for her behavior.
Author m8tt711 Posted June 16, 2013 Author Posted June 16, 2013 Yeah she knows she kinda has me by a string. I have always been there when she called me or texted me. I know I have looked a little desperate to get her back. She thinks I am completely unhappy and I don't know how to find happiness. Truth is that I am more happy now that I have been changing my lifestyle. The only thing I am down about is that she is not apart of my life and the fact the road she is kinda heading down isn't a good one. She is just surrounding herself by broken people who go out and party. Part of me feels like she is kinda testing me to see what I am going to really do to turn myself. I told her I am going to get a new job and do some other stuff in my life that benefits me. I have been implementing stuff I can so far. I am wrapping up my mistake from my DUI this next week and then pushing forward with a job search and some other areas I needed to work with after getting that large mistake behind me.
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