ellaaaxoxo Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 We went to different colleges which was difficult and only saw each other once a week. I think we put too much pressure on that one day and tried to make it perfect everytime. But everything was soo good, i can honestly say I loved him but basically distance and missing each other killled us. He would talk to me about marriage which surprised me and cried about me leaving him at times when i tried to break it off before. But this time he dumped me cuz he said "spark" was lost and because we live an hour away he said it would be difficult. Well the break up went bad with me crying and just leaving him. A week later I texted him saying we should remain friends and he agreed. I also told him I missed him and he did too but we can be friends. I HAVENT HEARD ANYTHING SINCE! Why is he doing this?? NC for 1 month now. Should I reach out or wait for him this time? I want to make it work and i want him to miss him. I was his first everything so how can he just forget me like that?? I know hes not seeing anyone cuz hes super shy. Any advice at all??
TaraMaiden Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 Yeah. Never, ever, EVER agree to be friends with someone who still has your heart in his pocket.
theonlyjuan Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 Just leave him be. It's hard to remain friends with someone you have feelings for. Some people just can't do it, it hurts too much.
Author ellaaaxoxo Posted June 18, 2013 Author Posted June 18, 2013 Any advice or from previous experience is needed because its driving me crazy. So my bf of 5 months broke up with me because he said the "spark" was lost and since we live an hour away things would get harder. He broke up with me after a perfect date where we talked about our summer plans so it hit me hard and ended up just leaving in tears. I know it was a mistake but a week later I texted him saying that it should've ended like that and we should remain friends, he agreed. I also told him I miss him and he said he did too but we are just friends. Well i haven't heard anything since!!! Its been exactly 1 month since that talk! Why hasnt he said anything? I know hes not talking to any other girls. I don't want to reach out because I did that one time after the break up plus I think he should since he was the dumper. Im just so confused on why he hasnt said anything? He would cry to me before because he never wanted me to leave him. But now he was the one that dumped me. I was his first gf and first love. I've dated many times before but with him I do believe it was true love thats why I still want to make it work. Should I just break the NC of 1 month and reach out because maybe he thinks Im really mad at him??
Minneloa Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I am sorry you are hurting. First loves are particularly difficult to lose. That said, from what you have posted, it seems pretty clear that he has not contacted you because the relationship is over from his perspective and he is moving on. If he were interested in reconciling or even friendship, he would let you know. I would advise you to stay NC and, as much as possible, focus on your own life without your ex. Again, sorry for your loss. Sending good thoughts. 1
Zahara Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Maybe he thinks that you are still too emotional and that is why he's trying to do the right thing by staying away. He probably wants to move on from this but knows that you requesting to be friends is your way to keep latching on. You cannot be friends. End of story on that. Don't break NC. He's not contacting you for a reason and it not because he thinks you are mad. Don't create these excuses in your head to find reasons to break NC.
Stefanie Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I'm not really one to talk, but I have to agree that space will do both of you good. I went through something similar and yeah, I was in so much pain because I wanted to keep him in my life and more. The way I behaved in the end pushed him away if anything. If he's going to trust you enough to be around you in any way again, he needs to know that you're emotionally stable. The distance will also give you both time to re-evaluate the relationship and decide whether it's worth pursuing, what was wrong with it and what might need changing. So take this time for yourself. Show that you can live without him and he might reconsider. It's messed up, but that's what happens. Spend time with your friends and family. Given he wasn't physically present in your life as much, it's easier to get used to that. When you're able to stand on your own, you're ready to be in a relationship again. I don't think relationships should mean you need that person in your life, you just want them there to share your lives with each other. Marriage is different, but that's way too far ahead.
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