Sweett Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 I feel like i've been through a lot already. After 2 years i'm almost over my ex and i took interest in someone else a few months ago. I sensed some emotional unavailability in him but i ignored because he looked good. We've gone out twice but i don't consider these dates. Both times he wanted to sit at the bar and one of the times i was the only one eating all he ordered was $115 worth of drinks came back to my house wasted and blacked out because he ended up sleep walking and he peed on my floor!!! But does not remember it. I thought this was a bad first impression. I let it go because he was drunk. Second time we went out sat at the bar but he didn't drink as much. just seems he's not making much of an effort to get to know me. I liked his personality and he makes me laugh but now This guy barely answers my texts anymore, says he's busy with work as he works 12 hours nights for a manufacturing place. I feel like he's avoiding me now and when people do this to me i start to blame myself and ask myself what is wrong with me and what didi do for this person to give me the cold shoulder. But then maybe it really is him and not me. This guy does have 2 kids that he has no contact with as they live in another state and he told me he felt like his father was just a sperm donor, so maybe his emotional unavailability comes from this. I don't know, but am i on the right track to say this isn't right.i feel like i attach to the wrong people especially since my ex cheated and left me 2 years ago.
SoulJazzBlues Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 I don't know where to start. Firstly, on your first date you took him back to your place. Fine, that's your choice. But he peed on your floor and you went out on a second date with him? I think a "bad first impression" is an understatement. He is not making an effort to get to know you, he ignores your texts and he is giving you the cold shoulder. You need our advice, really? Delete him number and move on.
Author Sweett Posted June 15, 2013 Author Posted June 15, 2013 I don't know where to start. Firstly, on your first date you took him back to your place. Fine, that's your choice. But he peed on your floor and you went out on a second date with him? I think a "bad first impression" is an understatement. He is not making an effort to get to know you, he ignores your texts and he is giving you the cold shoulder. You need our advice, really? Delete him number and move on. I had known him for a while before he came to my place the first time.
SoulJazzBlues Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 So? You state you sensed emotional unavailabilty but you're choosing to ignore it. So what exactly do you want to hear from us? You know he is wrong for you but you want to latch on. What does an ex from two years have to do with it? Just move on or accept being made to feel like crap.
Author Sweett Posted June 15, 2013 Author Posted June 15, 2013 So? You state you sensed emotional unavailabilty but you're choosing to ignore it. So what exactly do you want to hear from us? You know he is wrong for you but you want to latch on. What does an ex from two years have to do with it? Just move on or accept being made to feel like crap. Ok, i guess i just needed re assurance thanks and sorry to bother u
undergroundlife13 Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 I get you, but its not going anywhere. Trust me if a guy wants to talk to you he will, you wont be left wondering. i learned the hard way 1
KatZee Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 Is it your tendency to over look glaring red flags just because someone "looks good" ? You need to kind of mature in your way of thinking here. He's been a hot mess from day 1. He isn't even bothering to try and impress you, instead he gets black out drunk, pees in your house, is emotionally unavailable, can't be bothered to even talk to you... Stop making excuses and stop looking for something that isn't there. This guy doesn't like you. Seriously, hot mess is a serious understatement.
Kamille Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 I think that if this guy was chasing you, you would be paying attention to the red flags. Is it possible the only reason you are hung up on this loser guy is because your ego is taking a bit of a bruise? Really, it shouldn't. Look at it this way... This guy knows getting that drunk on a first date is disrespectful. This guy is aware that he isn't particularly treating you well post dates. Question is, why are you signing up for this kind of treatment? Don't you deserve to be treated with more respect?
Author Sweett Posted June 16, 2013 Author Posted June 16, 2013 I think that if this guy was chasing you, you would be paying attention to the red flags. Is it possible the only reason you are hung up on this loser guy is because your ego is taking a bit of a bruise? Really, it shouldn't. Look at it this way... This guy knows getting that drunk on a first date is disrespectful. This guy is aware that he isn't particularly treating you well post dates. Question is, why are you signing up for this kind of treatment? Don't you deserve to be treated with more respect? Yeah, i guess i do deserve to be treated better. But as i was trying to say in my post every since my ex cheated and left me for that person it made me feel kinda worthless. I thought i was over this but it seems to come and go and now i end up attaching to guys like this guy i'm talking about in my post.
shexy Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 If a guy peed on my floor, I really would never ever want to go out with him again. 1
miss_jaclynrae Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 If a guy took me to a bar and got trashed I wouldn't ever see him again. I really hope for your sake that you put up with it because of something OTHER than looks, which from your post is doubtful. You are in for a lot more turmoil if that wasn't the case though.
Kamille Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Yeah, i guess i do deserve to be treated better. But as i was trying to say in my post every since my ex cheated and left me for that person it made me feel kinda worthless. I thought i was over this but it seems to come and go and now i end up attaching to guys like this guy i'm talking about in my post. Pretend your best friend was pining after a guy who treated her the way this guy is treating you. What would you tell her? If you don't prioritize your own well being, you will keep getting entangled with messed up guys.
Author Sweett Posted June 16, 2013 Author Posted June 16, 2013 If a guy peed on my floor, I really would never ever want to go out with him again. Sadly he doesn't remember it. When he sobered up i posed the question to him "what if i told you that u got up and peed on my carpet last night" and he was like hell no he didn't and said he would be embarrased if he did that. He barely remembered things the next day! Still doesnt excuse it but to him i'd look like a liar since he does not remember it.
miss_jaclynrae Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Sadly he doesn't remember it. When he sobered up i posed the question to him "what if i told you that u got up and peed on my carpet last night" and he was like hell no he didn't and said he would be embarrased if he did that. He barely remembered things the next day! Still doesnt excuse it but to him i'd look like a liar since he does not remember it. That's a great reason to save face. He got belligerently drunk and peed on my floor, but ill look like a liar if I blame him since he doesn't remember. I would be LIVID. At some point you are going to realize that you are almost asking for this stuff to happen.
Author Sweett Posted June 16, 2013 Author Posted June 16, 2013 And that right there is proof of why I'm still single. Because our society is filled with more single women that act like that.....instead of women that head the warning of red flags. THIS is exactly why guys say women like to date Aholes! Because this sort of thing happens a million times over, in every town. And I bet theres a good guy that this lady ignored, choosing the moron instead. Thanks. Men do the same thing as well. I get ignored and overlooked to so maybe thats why i was after a moron.
Author Sweett Posted June 16, 2013 Author Posted June 16, 2013 That's a great reason to save face. He got belligerently drunk and peed on my floor, but ill look like a liar if I blame him since he doesn't remember. I would be LIVID. At some point you are going to realize that you are almost asking for this stuff to happen. Ok, thanks.
Author Sweett Posted June 16, 2013 Author Posted June 16, 2013 There are far less men that date a woman when she treats him like sh*t....so I dont think you can compare it equally. Women are drawn to it....instead of telling the guy to go pound salt....women try to FIX him. Like i said men do the same thing!!!! And i will keep saying it!!!! So i guess i deserved me ex cheating and leaving me! Wow typical man!
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