You guys have always been great, need some encouragement/advice.

[bamaguy20]

Havent posted here in a few months...gf dumped me last valentines day, so its been about 8 months...we are both 20 and now at different schools, and have a few mutual friends, but havent spoken since the summer....nothing was officially settled, there was no definate never getting back together, or we are getting back together..she told my best friend this summer that she wants to get back together eventually......which is why i might feel the way i do...anyways....as im sure some of you know who have read my many posts about this in the past....i was devasted, thought this was the girl i was going to marry, etc....feelings got better, transfered to a new school a little bit closer to home where a ton of my friends go, and things were going good...things kept improving..however now i find myself thinking about her a lot, and getting sad again. It seems like my progress has "plateaued" sp?? and isnt getting any better, not worse just not improving, and where it is now, still isnt where i woudl like it to be...i still get small knots in my stomach and the such, not as severe just alittle every now and then....think/want to send her an email etc....what should i do??? in addition...whenever i hook up with a girl, i always find myself picturing her as the girl...the girls ive been with since her all ironically have looked a lot like her so it was easier....just last week, i was with this girl, and i almost started crying because deep down i didnt wanna be this girl, i wanted my ex back...and she just reminded me of her so much, it was crazy...its an awful feeling not knowing the future and trying to live your life at the same time...i want to meet another girl so badly, becuase this time i know how to be part of a successful relationship, and i know things will go good, but they are just slow now i guess, i cant find anyone who fills her shoes or i dont find myself comparing her to.....please help.

[seductress989]

Hey bamaguy,

I'm really sorry about what you're going through. Just when you thought things were getting better, they seem to get worse huh? If it's been 8 months and you're still thinking of this girl, I would suggest a subtle form of casual contact. Maybe an email that simply says, Hey, what have you been up to? Just keep it platonic.

 

I know how exactly how it feels to be hurting and to have those sick feelings in your stomach. It really sucks and I couldn't imagine going through it for 8 months. It's obvious that you're not over her and she may not completely be over you. That's a possibility, not a truth.

 

I've broke up w/my ex 4 months ago and we were still "friends" until just a few weeks ago. I made the mistake of not starting NC until recently and it's killing me. But I'm moving on slowly but surely.

 

 

Back to you, bamaguy, it sounds like you're miserable right now, that's why I'm suggesting contact. Just see if and how she responds to it. Hope this helps.

[bamaguy20]

thanks for responding seductress