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Highschool sweetheart of 8.5 years.. I need her back. NO CONTACT?

Texastravis

By Texastravis
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Texastravis New Member

Texastravis

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Posted

Brief explanation with question: I asked for a break after 8 years of a relationship (never had a break before)... I think due to the "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. After 1.5 months of her blowing up my phone, begging me back, etc... she stopped. I panic'd and realized I couldnt live without her. What made her stop is some guy came in and swept her off her feet. Exactly 8 days ago I began begging her back, apologizing, even asked her to marry her. She doesnt say "NO!" she just cries and says she loves me but cant, and that she has feelings for this guy. She tells me she doesnt want to lose me... she obviously doesnt want me to move on...

 

So the question, how can I get her back? I did 5 days of pleading and begging and trying to romanticize her. Now I have tried the slightly ignore her approach... I am letting her text me and I wait a bit to text her back. She texts me everyday so the NO CONTACT approach SCARES me. I am afraid no contact will help her get over me, will get me out of her head, will make me not look serious about her being the love of my life, and overall make me look like an ass hole for not answering. Also, truth be told I dont think I can stop talking to her... she has always been there my whole life. I have also tried to make her slightly jealous by posting pics of me having fun on Facebook as well as have some of my women friends say flirtations things on my FB to help give the impression I am desirable and trying to move on...

 

She just left for California to see her family for 10 days.. and I am picking her up from the airport. Should I completely not text her back while she is in Cali? Or dont start convos but answer her texts? I know she will call, I know she will text me "I love you and miss you". When I pick her up from the airport we have to run by my house before I take her home... should I try to seduce her a bit? or act completely turned off? If I dont act like I miss her... I kinda look like an ass. I dunno I am rambling, what do yall think?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some more in-depth background if your interested: Although I would like to type every last detail I will keep it brief. I have been with the love of my life for 8.5 years, ages 16-24. The relationship was great with exception of a small rough patch 2 years ago (she kissed another guy) as well as we became an "old married" couple. Even after the rough patch we never broke up, never went on a break, we have ALWAYS been together. She did everything for me... and all she wanted was to get married. Due to the rough patch a few years ago, I was not quite ready for marriage.. I wanted to be 100% certain she was the one. So, I asked her if we could go on a break, reconnect with our friends, have some time apart so I can get myself ready for marriage.

 

This was VERY hard for her, she cried a lot, blew up my phone, sent me voice memos, etc. Told me she was waiting on me, told me she wanted back together, told me she was my soul mate, told me all of these things.... Also, over this 2 month break, she would still come over on the weekend and we would be intimate. Although we were broken up, I still had her, she was still mine, I didnt see other women. The break wasnt helping me figure out the answers I was looking for because I hadnt lost her.....that is until last week. She came over and was cold to me for the first time, we didnt kiss, hug, or anything. At that instance I knew I lost her. At that instance I knew I loved her and she was the one for me. I knew that I couldnt live without her. This was the answer I was looking for, this was the resolution I wanted to come to in my mind. It actually made me happy to realize I couldnt live without her.

 

But it looks like I am too late....it turns out she found a guy to fill the void I left her. An old friend of hers she turned to to help her through the break up. As of 1 week ago, they started being intimate and "dating". For the past 5 days I have been on my knees, crying, begging, apologizing, making promises to her... she listens and cries but thats where it stops.... Sunday I drove her around to all of our favorite memory spots and afterwards I got down on one knee and asked her to spend the rest of her life with me... she said she couldnt.

 

She still says she loves me, she will even sends me a text saying she loves me but yet, her free time is spent with the deuch she is seeing... and not with me. I have now taken the approach of not begging and suffocating her, but just staying silent. Trying to make her feel the fear/pain of losing me like I felt so her mind would be clear like mine. The only problem is she already felt that pain through this "break" and has gotten past it somehow. I hold little hope that she will come back to me. But my heart is so broke I cant eat, I cant sleep, I cant function. I am lost. I hate to play the "ignore her" or "make her jealous" game but I feel those are the only options I have left. I need her back.

 

I have no idea what to gain from putting this on the internet. I just needed to type it out and maybe get some feedback. I just want to crawl in a hole and die.

It's Just Me Established Member

It's Just Me

Posted
Posted

So, you had GIGS and you dumped her. She moves on, like a self-respecting girl should, and now you have a problem with that.

 

If you truly love her, let her go. If she really wanted to be with you at this point, she would be. Let her go sow her wild oats.

SadPanda22 Member

SadPanda22

Posted
Posted (edited)

You broke up with her. She tried to get back with you for a month and a half. You wanted no part of it. She moved on and found someone else. Now you want to be with her? Ridiculous.

 

Leave the poor girl alone.

Edited by SadPanda22
shaz2013 New Member

shaz2013

Posted
Posted
Brief explanation with question: I asked for a break after 8 years of a relationship (never had a break before)... I think due to the "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. After 1.5 months of her blowing up my phone, begging me back, etc... she stopped. I panic'd and realized I couldnt live without her. What made her stop is some guy came in and swept her off her feet. Exactly 8 days ago I began begging her back, apologizing, even asked her to marry her. She doesnt say "NO!" she just cries and says she loves me but cant, and that she has feelings for this guy. She tells me she doesnt want to lose me... she obviously doesnt want me to move on...

 

So the question, how can I get her back? I did 5 days of pleading and begging and trying to romanticize her. Now I have tried the slightly ignore her approach... I am letting her text me and I wait a bit to text her back. She texts me everyday so the NO CONTACT approach SCARES me. I am afraid no contact will help her get over me, will get me out of her head, will make me not look serious about her being the love of my life, and overall make me look like an ass hole for not answering. Also, truth be told I dont think I can stop talking to her... she has always been there my whole life. I have also tried to make her slightly jealous by posting pics of me having fun on Facebook as well as have some of my women friends say flirtations things on my FB to help give the impression I am desirable and trying to move on...

 

She just left for California to see her family for 10 days.. and I am picking her up from the airport. Should I completely not text her back while she is in Cali? Or dont start convos but answer her texts? I know she will call, I know she will text me "I love you and miss you". When I pick her up from the airport we have to run by my house before I take her home... should I try to seduce her a bit? or act completely turned off? If I dont act like I miss her... I kinda look like an ass. I dunno I am rambling, what do yall think?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some more in-depth background if your interested: Although I would like to type every last detail I will keep it brief. I have been with the love of my life for 8.5 years, ages 16-24. The relationship was great with exception of a small rough patch 2 years ago (she kissed another guy) as well as we became an "old married" couple. Even after the rough patch we never broke up, never went on a break, we have ALWAYS been together. She did everything for me... and all she wanted was to get married. Due to the rough patch a few years ago, I was not quite ready for marriage.. I wanted to be 100% certain she was the one. So, I asked her if we could go on a break, reconnect with our friends, have some time apart so I can get myself ready for marriage.

 

This was VERY hard for her, she cried a lot, blew up my phone, sent me voice memos, etc. Told me she was waiting on me, told me she wanted back together, told me she was my soul mate, told me all of these things.... Also, over this 2 month break, she would still come over on the weekend and we would be intimate. Although we were broken up, I still had her, she was still mine, I didnt see other women. The break wasnt helping me figure out the answers I was looking for because I hadnt lost her.....that is until last week. She came over and was cold to me for the first time, we didnt kiss, hug, or anything. At that instance I knew I lost her. At that instance I knew I loved her and she was the one for me. I knew that I couldnt live without her. This was the answer I was looking for, this was the resolution I wanted to come to in my mind. It actually made me happy to realize I couldnt live without her.

 

But it looks like I am too late....it turns out she found a guy to fill the void I left her. An old friend of hers she turned to to help her through the break up. As of 1 week ago, they started being intimate and "dating". For the past 5 days I have been on my knees, crying, begging, apologizing, making promises to her... she listens and cries but thats where it stops.... Sunday I drove her around to all of our favorite memory spots and afterwards I got down on one knee and asked her to spend the rest of her life with me... she said she couldnt.

 

She still says she loves me, she will even sends me a text saying she loves me but yet, her free time is spent with the deuch she is seeing... and not with me. I have now taken the approach of not begging and suffocating her, but just staying silent. Trying to make her feel the fear/pain of losing me like I felt so her mind would be clear like mine. The only problem is she already felt that pain through this "break" and has gotten past it somehow. I hold little hope that she will come back to me. But my heart is so broke I cant eat, I cant sleep, I cant function. I am lost. I hate to play the "ignore her" or "make her jealous" game but I feel those are the only options I have left. I need her back.

 

I have no idea what to gain from putting this on the internet. I just needed to type it out and maybe get some feedback. I just want to crawl in a hole and die.

 

 

Classic example of you dont know what you got until you've lost it, it happens to many people, you live and you learn is all I can say and karma is a bitch your turn to feel what she felt. Whether you will get her back I dont know but no begging or pleading will get her back as you have shown , you need to leave her to decide for herself and then accept it.

Justletgo Established Member

Justletgo

Posted
Posted

Definitely interesting post. And as others have already stated classic. You only want her back after you see her falling for someone else.

 

The monkey forgetting about the silver ball once he has it is a nice metaphor.

 

And yes also already said, no begging/pleading will get her back. Perhaps try and move on yourself, then see her reaction?

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