BambiiLove Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Okay, my boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for almost three years. We have had a rough past but things have been unbelievably better in the past year. We both deeply love each other and are both constantly working to improve our relationship. The thing is, my parents do not like him at all, they tend to be extremely overbearing when it comes to my love life and will accept nothing short of (their idea of) perfection. This is one of my major problems I can hardly have a conversation with my mom without her ranting and screaming about how rotten he is and how he is cheating on me blah blah blah, BTW she has absolutely no proof and literally makes up stories of what he's done; and my dad buys all of it. Yes, they do have some reasons to feel this way, he wasn't the best guy when we started dating but has made such a turnaround after our last break-up (over a year and a half ago). We are young, both of us are 20 and just beginning our lives. We currently live together with another roommate and we absolutely love living together but he is having major financial problems right now, he manages to pay his rent and bills every month but has little else to spare. Therefore he has been planning to move back with his parents for a few months to pay off some of his debt and to buy a car/motorcycle. Well, his parents are making a move to Dallas, TX in a couple months and he would be joining him, and he wants me to join him. I have been wanting to move out of state for a long time and this is not the issue, I am just questioning whether or not I should do it with him. I realize I am young and by all means should be working to improve my life and "should not be dragged down by a relationship" but I just love him so much. I am absolutely terrified to tell my parents, I know this will not end well. I apologize for all of the information I am just scared, confused, and need help. Please help me!
pteromom Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 but I just love him so much. Don't use your feelings to make this decision for you. Or fear of what your parents will think. Use your head. Which option offers you the most opportunity for career, education, growth - staying or moving with your bf? What would you be missing out on if you move to Dallas (friends, job, hobbies, etc) and is it worth losing all of that to move? You say your bf has a lot of financial issues. How will this affect your life if you move with him? Will you be able to take care of yourself? Forget feelings for a minute... does your bf treat you with respect? Does he allow you to grow and better yourself? Does he support your choices? Do you want the same things in life? Lastly, remember any choice you make isn't a permanent choice. If you move and you find you aren't happy in Dallas, you can move back. If you stay and find you are unhappy without your boyfriend, you can move later. 2
Phantom888 Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 You already know the answer. You are doubting your future with him. At 20, you feel love and passion, but this can all change. Ten years from now, you will be a completely different person because of life experience and knowledge. You should not be making life decisions at age 20. As mentioned, you should focus on personal growth, such as career, education and self-worth. I know you love this guy, and no one can take you away from him. But I suspect he hasn't always been good to you, and there is no guarantee that he will always be good to you. Your parents are protective... that's true for all parents, but consider their point of view. Would you trust this boy with the most precious thing in the world? Does he have the maturity, patience, love and skills to nurture your needs? At age 20, he's really a child emotionally. The probability that you will stay together 10 years from now is close to zero. Just think logically. IMHO. 1
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