How long was your longest "Dry Spell" and how did you get over it?

[galaxyman]

It's astonishing how the mind reacts the longer you take to get this settled. I've been in a "dry spell" for 4 years (basically since my last break up). I'm 27, and it's completely taken away my will to even go out anymore. Everything just seems like such a hassle, I suppose. I could easily imagine me doing this for the next 10-15 years. No question. My question is, how long was your longest "dry spell", and how did you get over it? (if you even did)

[yessy21]

I had a dry spell for a year.

 

I started online dating looking for possible matches. eventually i met someone i dated for a while and liked.

 

Sex is important for your body. it helps relieve stress.

[sillyanswer]

My question is, how long was your longest "dry spell", and how did you get over it? (if you even did)

 

About 6 years. I met a girl who liked me.

[Pompeii]

19 going on 20 years. I don't care. I just want mastery now.

[hppr]

About 3-4 years give or take. You have to want to change it, also it's a catch-22 since the longer you are single the more you won't care about it. Start getting really self-centered and then going out/interacting with other people is like a chore and it's easier to sit at home, drink beer and play WoW if you get what I'm saying.

[iris219]

I was single for 5 years, no sex for 2 years. (I had sex with my ex a few times in that period and vowed not to anymore, so I was celibate for 2 years.)

 

What ended my dry spell? My bf's marriage failed.

[Mr_Flay]

I'm thankful I don't feel any sexual frustration whatsoever. I hear it's a big problem for other people. Now I mostly desire companionship and cuddling.

[DannyMason]

I'm 25 and still a virgin. I'm wandering through the Sahara of dry spells here, folks.

[ltjg45]

27 and still a virgin so my "dry spell" hasn't even ended yet. Needless to say, I just don't have the requirement of having sex so I don't go out trying to chase it.

 

Sure, if I feel connected to a woman and want to have sex with her, I would do that but I wouldn't be with a woman just to get my groove on.

 

To me, the more attracted I am to a woman, the more I want to have sex with her.

[melodicintention]

9.5 years I've been alone, self inflicted solitude at first, was hanging on for 10 years. Personal decision so that I could find myself in pursuit of learning to live self sufficiently without feeling I "need" someone in my life to make me happy or accomplish my goals. Sort of a cleansing process. I don't think most people would do this, it's not easy to be alone, however I am highly introverted so its' easier for me to be alone than most others I think.

 

I"m ready for a relationship now (yes I don't mind missing the 10 yr. mark as I hit my goal to be self reliant 2 years ago) but all I meet are players here in the LA music scene. I replace the desire for a relationship with work. Work work work. Because I believe that one day the right thing will find me when I am doing my music. Trying too hard to make it happen always ends miserably (love or career) And if I never find love, I have so many great memories that I never would have had I been trapped in some dead end relationship the past 9 years.

 

It's all in your attitude. I have no expectations I'll find someone anytime soon in this town, but I've learned that love is hardly a thing to focus on in my life because...i am now perfectly self reliant. I just choose not to focus on being upset about it all.

[hermit]

5 1/2 years and counting. I've reached my late twenties now and in recent months have really begun to age visibly. My fading youth is something that makes me sad, to think that young love is never going to happen in my life now. Although I have a lot of aquaintances and I make a conscious effort to go out and socialise I do have that hollow feeling that I am not an essential part of anyone's life and that no-one would notice if I suddenly stopped turning up. I have lots of male friends but none of them show any signs of the slightest interest in me, neither do new people that I meet. I am naturally introverted and quiet but friendly. I'm also small and skinny. Basically not someone that stands out in a crowd. My situation has been the same for so long that I can't imagine how it could ever change now, although I still sometimes dare to dream that someday it will...

[Socks At Play]

I feel this is kind of an ambiguous thread: What type of dry spell? Sex or dating? Perhaps the differentiation doesn't matter.

 

Fourteen years in dating. I dated a girl as a senior in high school at age 17 and then my next date was at age 31. In these interim years I gained and then lost 100lbs, and focused on building a career and a bank account... How did I get over it? I asked a woman I had developed a crush on out to dinner. It didn't last more than a few dates but it helped my confidence, and it was a refreshing change to have something pop into my mind that wasn't work-related.

 

As for sex, yeah, I haven't got there yet. Looking back, there were a couple of times in college I probably could've grabbed a low-hanging fruit, but I was probably the least-horny college kid ever and disinterested at the idea. Ultimately I had serious self esteem issues in my teens from bullying, and those scars made me avoid people and live a hermit life as much as possible throughout my twenties. Now I'm getting out and about more and I'm confident that my body is actually capable of the physical act. I'm happy where my life is at in general. I'm getting more in tune with being vulnerable around and approaching women that randomly pop into my life. I'm optimistic that someday (soon?) I will find a woman who is patient enough to put up with me while I figure out what the **** I am doing.

[BustedUpInside]

6 months and it sucks!