new2dating Posted October 11, 2004 Posted October 11, 2004 Please help! I just ended an 8 year relationship and am new to dating. I hooked up with a friend of a friend on Friday night and he spent the night. From his interactions with me the next day, I thought he was really into me - he wouldn't leave and just kept talking and talking until 4PM in the afternoon! The way we left it was that we were going to spend that Saturday night together. By Saturday at 7PM, I called him since I hadn't heard from him and left a message on his voicemail about meeting him at his place instead that night. No reply. I even called on Sunday and left him a voicemail stating that I would like to see him again. STILL no reply. So - I still havn't heard from him, and its 3PM on Monday! What gives? Should I cut my losses and move on, or should I call him again from a different number. I don't want to come off as psycho.... e-mail, perhaps? Please help! thanks, new2dating
babybear Posted October 12, 2004 Posted October 12, 2004 Did u know this guy from before, or was it random? In my experience, it's always great during hooking up, and after, and even all day the next day....until someone leaves. Once that happens, it's like the magical nite is over, and everyone goes their separate ways! I wouldn't keep calling him though...I'm sure he got your messages and will call if he's interested. Guys are usually so persistent when they're into a girl, so if a guy wasn't returning my calls, I would guess that he isn't interested in round 2. Bb
Stone Posted October 12, 2004 Posted October 12, 2004 quit calling him if he is into you he will call you.
Swanny Posted October 12, 2004 Posted October 12, 2004 Guys do this all the time when we have have sex with somone outside of a relationship, dont really have a explanation of why. if he really has a thing for u just wait or leave him a msg asking to do something some time. Like the movies or something. Party's always work with us. Dont give up hope. If u have known him b4 u will surely bump into him or he will call u back. U never know whats happened, somethine might've came up and he is busy. Be patinent and dont annoy him.
new2dating Posted October 12, 2004 Posted October 12, 2004 Dear All: Thank you so much for replying to my post. You guys are the best! In response to baby bear: No, I did not know him before that night - but he is in a circle of friends that 2 of my best girl-friends are a part of... Also, I did not have sex with him - we did everything but.... Update: He called last night! Unfortunately I couldn't talk as another friend was over, and I said I would call him before a certain time. I called him right at the end of that time period - no answer so I left a voicemail. So - should I just wait for him to call back now? Thanks again, new2dating
overseas2004 Posted October 12, 2004 Posted October 12, 2004 No you should call him until he totally understand that you are desperate and cant wait anymore...
tiki Posted October 12, 2004 Posted October 12, 2004 Don't seem desperate, it's a total turn off. Let it take it's course. Chances are, if you guys connected, you'll still have that same connection, whether it be tonight or next week. But the way he's acting is peculiar, keep an eye on that kid. He might be out for game playing, you don't want that.
overseas2004 Posted October 12, 2004 Posted October 12, 2004 Thanks for answering my post. I was somewhat in a bad mood because of my situation when I answered yours. So I was somewhat flip. But you do need to stop calling him and showing him how much you need to be with him. Part of that is because you are pretty vulnerable now and you feel a void in your life. Try to put a check on that. Men run away when you chase them. They only stay when they feel like they haven't completely conquered something. And even then you need to be careful. Take care... Overseas
Jilly10340 Posted October 12, 2004 Posted October 12, 2004 Definately stop calling him. If a guy really likes you, he will call you. I would watch out though, it does seem like he's playing games, especially if you guys had plans for Saturday and he mysteriously disappeared on that day. That's enough for me to be cautious. Just don't take any of his crap.
new2dating Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 Update: we have been playing phone tag (2 times back and forth), so I finally sent him an e-mail stating that I would like to see him again. he responded 4 days later (which does seem kinda-long for e-mail responses) (his family was in town for that period, so he was actually busy). His e-mail asked me about my weekend, how I was, did I do anything fun etc., but no mention of getting together. 2 questions: 1. how long should I wait until I respond to his e-mail? 2. should I mention getting together in my response? thanks all!
bluechocolate Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 You mentioned that you wanted to see him again in your email & he didn't bite. Also 4 days IS a long time to reply to an email, no matter how busy someone is. Sorry, but it sounds to me like he's being polite but not terribly interested in getting together again. Answer his email whenever you want to but I don't think you should mention getting together. Just keep it light & breezy, back & forth chit-chat, no reason you shouldn't be friends, and who knows? maybe he will ask you out one day.
tiki Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 Let it go. You gave the bait and he didn't bite.
new2dating Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 Originally posted by tikibrandy Let it go. You gave the bait and he didn't bite. really?? damn damn - i need some lovin' thanks also, bc. so I should just be kinda layed back, huh? any other advice?
Naive Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 Definitely don't be so anxious about a guy. Calm down. Give yourself your place or else no one will.
Confused28 Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 I totally understand what you are going through. I was in an 8 year relationship (4 1/2 years were married) then, I got into a relationship of 2 years (but we broke up this summer for 2 months) During this time I was new and naive at the dating scene. I thought that if you go home with someone, you are now dating. I was WRONG!!! I did go home with 2 guys, did not have sex, but did regret it in the morning, anyway. After each time, I did not call the guys, I knew that I had come off as a little too available, so I let them call me and they did!! Then, we started dating and the relationship was back on track. Neither one worked out (my old boyfriend and I got back together), but by allowing them to contact me, it turned into a "Dating" relationship, like it seems you want, not just hooking up. My new rule if I become single again.....I'm not going home with anyone, unless we are committed. That is just me, maybe not for everyone, but it is the right thing for me. Take Care!! Confused28
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