shexy Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 At age 20 or age 22, you will be a totally different person in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years. Enjoy your youth while you still have it - just enjoy the relationship for what it is, but don't try to plan the rest of your life around a guy right now or anythng like that. You both have your whole lives ahead of you :-) 1
Tinie Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 Dudette. Breathe. Relax. Enjoy the ride. Seriously. I've been into guys 10 years older than me. 2 years difference is nothing. 1
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 15, 2013 Author Posted June 15, 2013 Dudette. Breathe. Relax. Enjoy the ride. Seriously. I've been into guys 10 years older than me. 2 years difference is nothing. See its different though, I date older but never younger. Older = marriage and babies way faster than a 20 year old you know? I feel like I could give him a year or so but after that I need to find someone to put a baby in me.
KungFuJoe Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 See its different though, I date older but never younger. Older = marriage and babies way faster than a 20 year old you know? I feel like I could give him a year or so but after that I need to find someone to put a baby in me. I'm sure you'll have no problem finding someone to stick a baby in you. Getting him to stick around afterwards? Good luck with that.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 15, 2013 Author Posted June 15, 2013 I'm sure you'll have no problem finding someone to stick a baby in you. Getting him to stick around afterwards? Good luck with that. Don't say that! That's mean! I feel like guys should want to be with the mother of their kids..? I mean I'm not as bad as you think, I would be a good girlfriend fiancée and wife and mother.
anne1707 Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 Don't say that! That's mean! I feel like guys should want to be with the mother of their kids..? I mean I'm not as bad as you think, I would be a good girlfriend fiancée and wife and mother. This is actually meant as a serious question. What makes you think you would be a good wife and mother?
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 15, 2013 Author Posted June 15, 2013 This is actually meant as a serious question. What makes you think you would be a good wife and mother? I would always be faithful, I'm a good person (in real life), I would love my husband and baby so much, I'm a really giving person. I just think I would be a good wife and mother I could learn if nothing else
Eclypse Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 Sure it can work. My gf was 22 when I was 20. I didn't notice any difference in maturity. But we're both fairly introverted and not the partying types. I'm getting the opposite vibes from you also neither of wants kids for the forseeable future. Tbh if she had your attitude toward kids id have left. Not many guys want to deal with that at 20! If you really want kids so bad (and based on your maturity and circumstances I wouldn't recommend it) then you need to be upfront about what you want. Be prepared for some to run for the hills though. Eventually you'll find a decent guy, pop out a couple of kids, and have a great time!
anne1707 Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 I would always be faithful, I'm a good person (in real life), I would love my husband and baby so much, I'm a really giving person. I just think I would be a good wife and mother I could learn if nothing else That is all very superficial and vague. You also need to remember that the posters here on LS have often seen you being very judgemental (teen mothers), jealous of others (friends who are attractive or have boyfriends) and careless with your health (unprotected anal sex). None of these things suggest you are anywhere near ready to be a wife let alone a mother. Do you need to be a wife and mother to be happy?
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 15, 2013 Author Posted June 15, 2013 (edited) That is all very superficial and vague. You also need to remember that the posters here on LS have often seen you being very judgemental (teen mothers), jealous of others (friends who are attractive or have boyfriends) and careless with your health (unprotected anal sex). None of these things suggest you are anywhere near ready to be a wife let alone a mother. Do you need to be a wife and mother to be happy? Ok well what makes you a good spouse or mother?? I mean I think my reasons were good. Anyways teen moms deserve judgment, it is my prerogative to not talk to my friends who are prettier than me or not go out with them or whatever if they have boyfriends, and it is my body if I want to have unprotected sex. If I was with someone and had babies I would care about teen moms because I would have what they have, I would be fine with my friend who are prettier than me because obviously someone would like me enough to have made me their girlfriend so they would think I'm attractive, and I would only be having unprotected sex with one person because I would be married to them. I don't think I need it to be happy but I know I couldn't ever be fully happy without it. I kind of dont understand why you push th teen mom issue with me? I mean I don't like them I don't want to associate with them, I'm not mean to them in real life I just don't want to associate with them and I avoid them no big deal Edited June 15, 2013 by ImperfectionisBeauty
snowflakes88 Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 You seem to think having a baby is a guarantee that the father won't leave. It isn't. Not at all.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 15, 2013 Author Posted June 15, 2013 You seem to think having a baby is a guarantee that the father won't leave. It isn't. Not at all. I just know a lot of men who may have been in unhappy relationships the girl got pregnant and they stayed. I don't want a guy to be with me out of obligation but I just want someone to be with me
Anela Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 My dad is two years younger than my mother. They married when he was 21/22. 1
anne1707 Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 I kind of dont understand why you push th teen mom issue with me? I mean I don't like them I don't want to associate with them, I'm not mean to them in real life I just don't want to associate with them and I avoid them no big deal It was just an example (one of many I could have used) to demonstrate how judgemental and critical of others you are. Being a wife and mother requires balance, the ability to compromise, acknowledging that you (as in you OP) can and do get things wrong, that others may know better than you, that you cannot impose your beliefs on others.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 15, 2013 Author Posted June 15, 2013 It was just an example (one of many I could have used) to demonstrate how judgemental and critical of others you are. Being a wife and mother requires balance, the ability to compromise, acknowledging that you (as in you OP) can and do get things wrong, that others may know better than you, that you cannot impose your beliefs on others. And I know that and I can learn it, I mean lets be honest you can say I'm not ready and that I should learn all this stuff before I have kids but at the rate I'm going now do you think ill learn? Something has to give me the push. I asked because you always come back to teen moms and its weird
anne1707 Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 I asked because you always come back to teen moms and its weird No. It's you who does that. You even have an ongoing thread about this subject at the moment.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 15, 2013 Author Posted June 15, 2013 No. It's you who does that. You even have an ongoing thread about this subject at the moment. I was asking about what to do about my therapist who was a teen mom and how she isn't as credible to me. Even in my am I pregnant thread you said "maybe now you won't judge teen moms" which nothing in that thread mentioned teen moms so you are obsessed with my dislike for them. Were you one?
anne1707 Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 (edited) I said it was an EXAMPLE of you being judgemental. The point is that you are incredibly judgemental about a range of subjects. Edited June 15, 2013 by anne1707
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 15, 2013 Author Posted June 15, 2013 I said it was an EXAMPLE of you being judgemental. The point is that you are incredibly judgemental about a range of subjects. Why is that always your example? Anyways oh well who cares? There are millions of judgmental people who get married and have kids
snowflakes88 Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 I just know a lot of men who may have been in unhappy relationships the girl got pregnant and they stayed. I don't want a guy to be with me out of obligation but I just want someone to be with me Right. Even if it's out of obligation, which is very sad. And for every man who stays out of obligation, there are probably 5-6 who walk. A man can take care of his child without being with you. If you continue down this path (extreme desperation, suggesting that you'd trap someone you know doesn't want a baby), your future as a single mom seems likely.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 15, 2013 Author Posted June 15, 2013 Right. Even if it's out of obligation, which is very sad. And for every man who stays out of obligation, there are probably 5-6 who walk. A man can take care of his child without being with you. If you continue down this path (extreme desperation, suggesting that you'd trap someone you know doesn't want a baby), your future as a single mom seems likely. Ok that would suck but even the single moms I know are getting boyfriends and married before me. I mean idk maybe it wouldn't be that bad
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 17, 2013 Author Posted June 17, 2013 Question how long do I need to wait before I ask him how he feels about marriage and kids? We have only been dating exclusively for a week and a half and only talking for a month and a half so when? I feel like this is a pressing issue now.
Balzac Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Seriously? The guy is an enlisted Marine. Seems he's in the beginning of his training. You seem to have a flat line on understanding military life.
Balzac Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Perhaps he enlisted @18 straight out of high school. It's possible he's in for 6 years. What's his rank? What's his specialty?
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 17, 2013 Author Posted June 17, 2013 Perhaps he enlisted @18 straight out of high school. It's possible he's in for 6 years. What's his rank? What's his specialty? I have no idea any of that stuff, I know where he works what he does but I don't know anything about military life I don't know many people in the military. I am pretty sure he enlisted shortly after hs though because he did a semester in college and didnt like it. I'm only asking because the other post about being 30 and trapping someone into pregnancy I don't want go have to do that so I should just ask him what he thinks about it
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