Gem84 Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Hi, I would like advice on how to end an emotional affair whilst remaining as cool as possible. When we met four years ago, he looked into my eyes and the attraction and feeling was so intense and deep, when I left the place , I may as well of been on a drug high. I avoided him to avoid it going any further however failed to protect myself from communication with him, to the point we are both way confused and. He says he missed me since the day he met me, I think I fell in love at first sight with him, and am gonna have a hard time letting go. Should I explain to him why I'm not going to contact him again or should I just disappear?
threelaurels Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Telling him your reasons for ending carries the risk that he will somehow rope you back into the affair if it is done in a way that can facilitate a dialogue (i.e. in person or over the phone). I think you should tell him your reasons but do so through an email or letter. Texting is also an option, but I think the temptation to reply would be stronger than it would to send the message over email or by mail. Treat the ending as you would a break-up. That is, go out and do anything you can to take your mind off him and the situation. Go to the mall and walk around, hang out with friends, see a movie... anything really to distract you. It will be painful, no doubt, but you have the strength to pull through it. It's better for you both in the long run if the inappropriate friendship ends. There is no way for you two to stay friends or likely be friends again in the future because the same pattern will show up once again. Good luck! I know you can do it 1
Author Gem84 Posted June 14, 2013 Author Posted June 14, 2013 Thanks threelaurels, yes you are right. I have done the dissapearing act on him a few times before but always end up relenting to his contact, music is a trigger as well, it gets me thinking about him. What I think Im going to do is take some time to email him a goodbye letter, I think he deserves that much. I feel like such a sad case, I never thought I would find myself in such a situation.
Author Gem84 Posted June 15, 2013 Author Posted June 15, 2013 I have done it....iv ended it. I spent last night sat In bed pouring My heart into an email, which I know he won't be able to read until Monday. I didn't realise how much I felt for him, and how sad it would make me...until the words and memories started to flow. In a nutshell I ended by saying, I had to let him go, and although it hurts me he has to let me go too, that I love him and wish him the world. Thanks for the advice ) xx
TaraMaiden Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 What makes you believe the relationship with your BF is better than the one you could have with this guy? I was with my ex, for 26 years. I have been with my current H for 10 years. I have no idea what made me hang on to my 1st marriage for so long, but I should definitely have ended it sooner.... Did you get the same 'electric connection' with you bf, when you met him, as you did with this guy? Do you still feel deep sexual love for your BF? How is your physical side of things, with him? Is the connection to this guy as strong as when you first met him? In brief - are you sure you're breaking up with the right guy? if so, why?
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