UVict Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Ok I’ve done lots of thinking and reading about this, but still can’t come to a solid answer or action. Long story short. My ex of 2 years, left me for another guy, a complete random on the internet who is overseas. We remained in contact as friends with benefits for a few months due to living together. Then she said it wasn’t fair on this new guy who she likes, but that he can never know. We stopped sleeping together and, went our own ways. I confronted her about how she lied and used me for months and she should tell this guy what has been going on, it’s only fair to him. She told me it’s not my place to tell her how to talk to him. She is now overseas on holiday with him. We slept with each other literally 24 hours before she left the country to be with him. I don’t care about her, but I (surprisingly) feel bad for the guy not knowing what he is getting himself into, especially sleeping with her 24 hours before seeing him. I know if I was in his position I would want to know. So, I have the option to tell him what has been going on. But should I? I feel it is the right thing to do.
CC12 Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 So, I have the option to tell him what has been going on. But should I? I feel it is the right thing to do. No, just keep it to yourself. You don't need tell people in her life what you think of her. You were fine with her cheating on the new guy at one point, when you were FWB with her. Now that you're not sleeping with her anymore, you suddenly care about the guy and what's fair to him? I don't buy that. What you're considering doing looks like revenge to me. Pure and simple, hateful revenge. "She hurt me so I'm going to hurt her." Don't do anything. Just move on with dignity. 2
Pisces13 Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 No, just keep it to yourself. You don't need tell people in her life what you think of her. You were fine with her cheating on the new guy at one point, when you were FWB with her. Now that you're not sleeping with her anymore, you suddenly care about the guy and what's fair to him? I don't buy that. What you're considering doing looks like revenge to me. Pure and simple, hateful revenge. "She hurt me so I'm going to hurt her." Don't do anything. Just move on with dignity. Agree with this. You have nothing to gain from saying anything, and it's not really your problem anyway, she's the one doing the wrong thing, you're single and just happened to sleep with your ex, you don't owe anybody anything. 2
Author UVict Posted June 14, 2013 Author Posted June 14, 2013 No, just keep it to yourself. You don't need tell people in her life what you think of her. You were fine with her cheating on the new guy at one point, when you were FWB with her. Now that you're not sleeping with her anymore, you suddenly care about the guy and what's fair to him? I don't buy that. What you're considering doing looks like revenge to me. Pure and simple, hateful revenge. "She hurt me so I'm going to hurt her." Don't do anything. Just move on with dignity. I see what you're saying.Yes, I was ok with it at one point, early on before she admitted to being serious with this new guy. It has nothing to do with not sleeping with her anymore, I can respect that, and did. Only for her to come back to me about 2 weeks after she told me what we were doing is not fair to him, to then sleep with me literally 24 hours before leaving the country to see him. That does not make sense, if she is so serious about this guy, why would she happily sleep with me twice the morning she left the country? That is not fair. Yes, I understand there is probably some anger in there. It just doesn't make sense for her to say this guy is the love of her life, and is perfect etc. To then sleep with me the morning before running away overseas to be with him. I know they both love each other lots, but I think its not fair on him, to go along like she has been serious about him, while seeing and sleeping with me for months, and right before they met up and get to be together.
aloneinaz Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 What doesn't make sense is you getting dumped for someone else and accepting being her FWB till she chose to leave. Where's your self respect? If a woman told me she was done w/me for another guy, I'd be GONE.. What you did was be her biittoocchhh and serve her needs till it was time for her to go to the new guy. Now, you want to seek revenge? Dude, really? 1
Simon Phoenix Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Not your place to tell. Though if I were you I'd stop having sex with her, or at least remind her of her boyfriend. Though I'm not sure why you want sloppy seconds from someone who dumped you anyway.
Zahara Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Your need to tell just comes from your bitterness and anger. I don't believe it has anything to do with doing the other guy a favor. If your conscience was right all this would never have happened. You kept sleeping with her hoping sex would change her mind about you. It didn't and now you're upset and you need to have your payback. No one's fault but yours.
veggirl Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 (edited) Please if you felt so bad you wouldn't have fked her a day before she left. Just drop off the face of the earth as far as she's concerned. NO contact. She sounds like a s.hithead anyway ugh. It really sounds like you just wanna break them up. Your actions...sex before she left...don't align with your words at all. Edited June 14, 2013 by veggirl 2
Mint Sauce Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Should the good deed not be done because the motivation and actor are evil? He deserves to know. If they have an open relationship, no harm is done, if they don't, he is spared further heart ache. Don't expect any "positive" return though.
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