Mount Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I was intending to post this earlier today but got no time...Since I saw other posters posting how they feel after ending A, NC with MM, I want to lay down how I feel during last few days:- 1) I feel some burden that previously was always pressing me is gone. I feel lighter and sky is much brighter now; 2) I feel I am back to NORMAL, and I can breathe- that is so true, I don't know why; 3) Yes I miss him a bit, but I don't feel hurt. The MM chooses to go back and I fully acknowledge and accept that. The only contact is all about work, and I try to contact as less as possbile. Again, I do have emotion, and somehow after the drastic motion 10 days ago, I switch back to old normality. 2
whichwayisup Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I was intending to post this earlier today but got no time...Since I saw other posters posting how they feel after ending A, NC with MM, I want to lay down how I feel during last few days:- 1) I feel some burden that previously was always pressing me is gone. I feel lighter and sky is much brighter now; 2) I feel I am back to NORMAL, and I can breathe- that is so true, I don't know why; 3) Yes I miss him a bit, but I don't feel hurt. The MM chooses to go back and I fully acknowledge and accept that. The only contact is all about work, and I try to contact as less as possbile. Again, I do have emotion, and somehow after the drastic motion 10 days ago, I switch back to old normality. Gonna just say it. You were never really "in love" with him nor deeply emotionally invested. You had feelings for him, but you never fully allowed him into your heart. How I can tell? From all your past posts. You were more obsessed with him on some level, kind of like wanting to win him but you weren't totally all in. Hope that makes sense. 2
Author Mount Posted June 14, 2013 Author Posted June 14, 2013 Somehow previoulsy the affair or the MM was occupying my mind thus it was very very distracting my work, or life....so since now the affair or MM is gone, I feel like I can BREATHE, and my mind is almost 100% focus on the work I need to do....which means during last 10 days I have been very productive on work...etc. And yes, when the drastic withdraw just happnened I was a bit shocked, then I realize it is normal for MM's mentality...or whatever. I accept it is what it is, and i won't never force anyone do things they don't want to do themsleves. Hi Mount - good to hear from you:) 3
Realist3 Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I experienced what you are feeling briefly. It is truly liberating. To get all of the noise/baggage that weighs on you feels really good. Hope you can keep it up.
Author Mount Posted June 14, 2013 Author Posted June 14, 2013 How so for bolded part? Gonna just say it. You were never really "in love" with him nor deeply emotionally invested. You had feelings for him, but you never fully allowed him into your heart. How I can tell? From all your past posts. You were more obsessed with him on some level, kind of like wanting to win him but you weren't totally all in. Hope that makes sense.
whichwayisup Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 How so for bolded part? You were wishy/washy about him and the A for so long. Many of your past posts showed that you were with him, but not sure if you really 'wanted him'. Maybe obsessed is the wrong word. More ego based? I mean that nicely, btw.
whichwayisup Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I experienced what you are feeling briefly. It is truly liberating. To get all of the noise/baggage that weighs on you feels really good. Hope you can keep it up. You need to send me a PM with an update. 1
coffeebean201 Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 sometimes it takes a while for the emotional effect of a loss to be felt. you've spent quite a bit of time with him. hugs
Author Mount Posted June 14, 2013 Author Posted June 14, 2013 Don't worry, I know you always nice to me :laugh:. Hey, btw, I am not totally wishy/washy, that dude did make effort, had enough courage telling wife that he wants to leave, and then moved so many stuff, loading to his car, came to my place. Even though he was awaken next day, he did what he said for one day. You were wishy/washy about him and the A for so long. Many of your past posts showed that you were with him, but not sure if you really 'wanted him'. Maybe obsessed is the wrong word. More ego based? I mean that nicely, btw.
Author Mount Posted June 14, 2013 Author Posted June 14, 2013 One year exactly.. thanks for the hug sometimes it takes a while for the emotional effect of a loss to be felt. you've spent quite a bit of time with him. hugs
whichwayisup Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Don't worry, I know you always nice to me :laugh:. Hey, btw, I am not totally wishy/washy, that dude did make effort, had enough courage telling wife that he wants to leave, and then moved so many stuff, loading to his car, came to my place. Even though he was awaken next day, he did what he said for one day. Glad you know that, even though I HAVE been harsh with you at times. Hey, you know my style now. Anyway, just focus on you, your life and friends. Keep busy and enjoy your life and freedom! 1
BrokenPrincess Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Again, I do have emotion, and somehow after the drastic motion 10 days ago, I switch back to old normality. I am surprised to see you write this because all your posts the past few months have been so aggressively insisting you are NOT emotional, just logical only and looking for results. In fact, I never really got the impression that you loved your xMM to begin with. It always seemed like it was more about a competition and money. Maybe that is not truly the case and that was just your defense mechanism? if so, I genuinely wish you well. Once the shock of all the extreme events wears off, you may find yourself missing him more, regrets, questions, etc. But if you are able to avoid this post-A roller coaster, more power to you..lucky!! 2
KeepMeInMind Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Gonna just say it. You were never really "in love" with him nor deeply emotionally invested. You had feelings for him, but you never fully allowed him into your heart. How I can tell? From all your past posts. You were more obsessed with him on some level, kind of like wanting to win him but you weren't totally all in. Hope that makes sense. Hate to say it, but I agree, but I haven't read all these other posts you speak of. I just see the whole shoulder shrugging, already bounced back in 10 days tone. I'm like, seriously?? My MM went back to his W after being with me for 3 weeks, and my whole world was shattered. I didn't eat for 5 days, could barely function for a week, etc. I have been through breakups, mourned a marriage, etc, and this crap was by far the most traumatic thing I've ever gone through. Not that this is about me. I'm saying, I know where *I* was after only 10 days of him going back, and it sure as heck wasn't the place she's in. Wow!
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