puffdaddy Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I broke up with my girlfriend 2 weeks ago tomorrow. It was a sad ending. I knew I had to do it because of age difference and immaturity issues. I was older, she was the youngest person I'd ever been with. I'm in my 30's, she s mid twenties. Needless to say, a week before, we sat on the beach and I brought up the point that maybe we'd be better off just as friends. She went from being shy and innocent to where she said if you had sex with me right now, would that help? Like a dumb guy I said sure. So off we went to a motel down the street by the beach. We had sex twice, I wore protection both times, but she let me in bareback for a few seconds once then back to condom. After the first time I asked her why did she want to do this, and she said if this is ending this is how it's going to. Anyways we woke up and had sex again. This time the condom did break, but I didn't notice until I was out. I didn't say anything to her, and she didn't notice. Since I broke it off, we have been NC for 2 weeks. I've tried throwing a line out there to see if she would respond but all I get is please do not contact me and she even deleted my number out of her phone, facebook instagram etc. So the question is, do I find someway of getting word to her about this mishap or do I let it go? Like I said, every time I initiated contact even though we are NC, she responds with the leave her alone. I'm afraid if I continue to try and contact her, she will call the cops on me, even though it's not really harassment. How would you go about this? Leave it alone? Or if not, how would you word it to get her to respond? I appreciate any help.
aisuru Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Leave her alone and let it be. In this day and age, most girls who are sexually active will do an occasional STD test with their doctor. If for some reason she ends up pregnant, believe me, she will contact you. Let her go. Please don't use this as a reason to contact her.
Author puffdaddy Posted June 14, 2013 Author Posted June 14, 2013 Leave her alone and let it be. In this day and age, most girls who are sexually active will do an occasional STD test with their doctor. If for some reason she ends up pregnant, believe me, she will contact you. Let her go. Please don't use this as a reason to contact her. No wasn't going to use it as a reason to contact her, I just wasn't sure if it was courtesy to do so. Thanks for your reply.
aisuru Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I think you are good. It's not ideal, but believe me, it happens and really, women have such a small window of fertility for the pregnancy risk. You have recently been tested for STDs yourself though right?
Author puffdaddy Posted June 14, 2013 Author Posted June 14, 2013 I think you are good. It's not ideal, but believe me, it happens and really, women have such a small window of fertility for the pregnancy risk. You have recently been tested for STDs yourself though right? I've been tested every 6 months since I became active at 17 ( I am 33). I actually have a little folder with paperwork from every time I've been tested in case anyone ever asks to see proof.
CC12 Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I just wasn't sure if it was courtesy to do so. The courteous thing to do would have been to tell her the moment it happened. You pretty much robbed her of her chance to take the morning after pill and avoid a lot of potential trouble. Why didn't you tell her? Leave it alone? Or if not, how would you word it to get her to respond? Well, you don't need her to respond, so you don't have to be crafty about telling her. But I do think you should tell her, because she deserves to know. If there's absolutely no way to contact her through normal means, make a new throwaway email account and put subject line: "HerName, this is YourName. Please read. Important." Then in the body of the email, write "This is not a ploy to get you to respond to me. I just feel you deserve to know what happened. The last time we were together, the condom broke and I didn't notice until after we were finished. I didn't tell you because _____. I can't begin to explain how sorry I am and how wrong it was of me to do that. I don't expect to hear from you ever again, especially after sharing this news, but I felt you should know. Take care."
crederer Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Naw let it go. If she's pregnant she'll let you know. My ex texted me saying she feared she had an std and it had to have come from me cause she hasn't slept with anyone since. It drove me crazy waiting for the results and in the end it was just a load of BS.
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