shatteredworld Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 We broke up 4 months ago and I initiated full nc 3 months ago when I saw that he got into a new relationship. The only thing this seemed to accomplish is that I haven't gotten more sad from seeing stuff about them together. He broke my heart and made me believe "I had his heart" etc etc. I still spend my days crying and obsessing about what has happened and these thoughts just never go away. I've tried meds and therapy. And yet I'm still here hoping I get the guts to just kill myself. Our relationship wasn't even long but it was serious, I never could believe I meant nothing and now it's the only thing I can believe with how he treated me. Essentially I'm ranting about how the pain just doesn't seem to lessen or go away. I'm still in this hell and quite frankly I don't believe it will go away any time soon.
fiftyofsomethin Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 We broke up 4 months ago and I initiated full nc 3 months ago when I saw that he got into a new relationship. The only thing this seemed to accomplish is that I haven't gotten more sad from seeing stuff about them together. He broke my heart and made me believe "I had his heart" etc etc. I still spend my days crying and obsessing about what has happened and these thoughts just never go away. I've tried meds and therapy. And yet I'm still here hoping I get the guts to just kill myself. Our relationship wasn't even long but it was serious, I never could believe I meant nothing and now it's the only thing I can believe with how he treated me. Essentially I'm ranting about how the pain just doesn't seem to lessen or go away. I'm still in this hell and quite frankly I don't believe it will go away any time soon. Oh my. How I feel for you. I don't want to discount what you have been doing, but the purpose of NC is not to get them back or to directly lesson the pain, it's supposed to drive you to go and do other things and get your mind off of them. That is the only way you can get over them. The only reason people get attached/sad after a breakup is because they see no better future in sight, they assume that "they were the one" or "it was so great before" or "if I just did this, it would have worked out" But trust me, the second you start believing in abundance in your life and BELIEVING that you have a great future coming to you, you will start feeling better. Think about it, in any aspect of life. For example, if you were a musician who just released a song, and then days later someone remixes your song and releases it as their own song. A person with a mindset of lack would sue them. A person with the mindset of abundance will embrace it and likely promote it, keeping in mind that they can recreate the success they had with the song again later. That may have been a bad example, but you get it. People who embrace abundance are just generally happier and are those people you see enjoying and living fulfilled lives. But going back to you specifically, you have no reason to be ashamed of your feelings. It is entirely natural and normal to feel how you do. You have been trying, but just haven't figured it out yet. I applaud your efforts. I too have gotten dumped four months ago and have been dealing with it as well. But through the mindset of abundance and just choosing happiness I have been very quickly getting over her. Sure I have my hiccups every few days, but I soon get out of them when I slap myself on the head and realize how stupid I'm being. So I wish you luck! You definitely are worth anyone willing to give you love. You deserve the love of someone who will never let you go. So stay strong, choose to be happy, and BELIEVE in a great future! All the best, FiftyOfSomethin "Fifty percent of somethin' is better than a hundred percent of nothin'"
Author shatteredworld Posted June 14, 2013 Author Posted June 14, 2013 I don't even have the motivation to do anything. I try to be happy but my mind just wont let me. Im full of emptiness, I can't expect a great future more than anyone else I'm so lost and it's hard when I'm constantly feeling great emotional pain.
fiftyofsomethin Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I don't even have the motivation to do anything. I try to be happy but my mind just wont let me. Im full of emptiness, I can't expect a great future more than anyone else I'm so lost and it's hard when I'm constantly feeling great emotional pain. Hey now. I know it definitely seems hard as hell right now. It's only natural to feel that way. I do wish you well through this. If you would like more help or if you need someone to talk to (I know that I sure did), you're more than welcome to message me. Sometimes the best thing is to just find someone and talk it out. You can do it!
bob the brave Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 I saw a documentary a while back where they compared PET brain scans of people with broken legs and those with emotionally broken hearts. They were virtually identical! As far as the brain is concerned a broken heart is a true injury. If you truly valued the relationship, you have suffered a real loss and it may take some time to heal. You must be strong and be patient. It will get easier with time and finding someone new never hurts. The important thing to remember is this is not about you. It is something that happened to you. It is just a part of life. Sometimes it's sunny and sometimes it rains. Life doesn't always work out the way we would hope, but it can never change who you are. I know it hurts and sometimes you just want to give up, but, believe me, nobody should is worth that. We are all special in some way and have something to offer. Take this time to reflect, and know that we always become stronger surviving adversity. Survive this and you will be a stronger, wiser person able to bring more to your next relationship.
Chris715 Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 I've been going through the exact same thing you are Shattered. My girlfriend broke up with me around 7 months ago. Only on a month or so of NC now but it's killing me. I've been anxious, grieving, depressed, suicidal since the break up, you name it. I felt like she was the one and I'll never meet anyone to replace her and like you I'm totally lost and NC feels completely useless to me. If you want to talk I'm here, might be nice to relate to someone for both of us.
Recommended Posts