anne1707 Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I am an overachiever - successful manager, highly ambitious to become a millionaire before I hit 30 (It's definitely happening) Maybe I am just in an awkward mood but at 21, there is no way you can say you are a successful manager or well on your way to being a millionaire because you will soon be earning $60k. Wow. I also assume you are no longer wanting your girlfriend to move to America with you now contray to what you have posted about several times in the last week or so. 2
Titania22 Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 I just had a look at the OPs other threads, and I think he only said that stuff to his GF to make her break up with him. It's the easy way out, he is moving to America, and he doesn't have to feel guilty about breaking her heart if she broke up with him. But it backfired because she really loves him. Don't be a wimp guy OP, just break it off and go follow your career, it's what you really want. Seriously, if you are just straight forward and honest about what you want, you will feel like more of a man afterwards, even if for a moment you feel crap for hurting her. Being a man doesn't mean being rude or nasty, its just about having the guts to tell it how it is, and how it is is, you are going to America, you are not bringing her, and you are not having a long distance relationship, end of story.
FitChick Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 I didn't realize he was THAT guy. Now I remember him.
Leigh 87 Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 If you're so smart then why did you enter into a relationship with a woman you knew very well was not at your "level"? Surely you have the intelligence to realise that, well, it is not a good idea to invest months into a girl who is not a good match? See. Even people "like you" overlook basic, fundamental laws of dating. Such as " do not date a person if you feel they are beneath you" 4
stillafool Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 Why are you saying your gf isn't good enough when she was accepted to a prestigeous university and you don't have a college degree? I'm confused. 2
crude Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 I don't see why this has to be about gender, and I certainly don't think people are being harsh on the OP because he's a dude. There isn't much point in defending his kind of jerkish actions solely because he's a dude...is there? It's not exactly about gender, but when a woman posts here that she's going out with a man who likes to party and doesn't make much money while she's ambitious and successful, the posters are unanimous in telling her he's not good enough for her, that he's a loser who won't grow up, and of course she should dump him. There's a huge amount of sympathy for a female when the genders are reversed though.
jolie_baby Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 Now I am a little confused; because based solely on the info in this thread, I kind of understood that you wouldn't want to be with her and that maybe its better to quit, but then reading your other thread, from a week or so earlier, you said exactly this: QUOTE START I will be moving to the US and I'd like to bring my girlfriend with me. I will have to marry her and support her. We have both discussed it and we are completely fine with it. We are perfectly compatible. QUOTE END How do these the info in this thread (IQ below average and different than you) reconcile with "we are perfectly compatible"?? Do you even know what you are getting yourself into and what do you actually want? Why don't you evaluate the situation, pros and cons, and try to get things right, i.e. understand better, and only then make a decision regarding your issue in this and in the other thread... you know to do some serious thinking...
Els Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 Maybe I am just in an awkward mood but at 21, there is no way you can say you are a successful manager or well on your way to being a millionaire because you will soon be earning $60k. Wow. I know, right? Either the OP is seriously deluded, or a bridge dweller. For his sake, I'm hoping for the latter. 2
MidwestUSA Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 Elswyth, I'm going with bridge dweller. In a prior thread he described his GF as extremely intelligent, beautiful, mature, etc. Yea, millionaire at 30 when you haven't actually left the country and taken the job yet. The wool has left my eyelids very itchy. 2
Buttercup84 Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 If a guy said that to me, I'd dump his arse. You come across as a controlling,insecure and vain douche. I never think that I have to prove my worth to anyone. You just seem to care about money and yourself. She is too good for you, not the the other way round. 1
Neith Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Sexual chemistry, yeah. She actually hit on me in a supermarket. We chatted on facebook a few times, went on a date and here we are now, 3 months later. I know it's not fair, I'm such a jerk. Yes. You are. You're incredibly shallow and you come across as quite controlling actually. She's given up so much for you in only 3 months. She's more or less changed who she is & her lifestyle and you're STILL whining? Yes, this relationship is over. 1
Neith Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 If a guy said that to me, I'd dump his arse. You come across as a controlling,insecure and vain douche. I never think that I have to prove my worth to anyone. You just seem to care about money and yourself. She is too good for you, not the the other way round. ....this
Suave Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 I'd say you should get your narcissism under control before being in a relationship with anybody. 2
dreamingoftigers Posted June 16, 2013 Posted June 16, 2013 Maybe I am just in an awkward mood but at 21, there is no way you can say you are a successful manager or well on your way to being a millionaire because you will soon be earning $60k. Wow. I also assume you are no longer wanting your girlfriend to move to America with you now contray to what you have posted about several times in the last week or so. LOL, At 21, (a sadly vast 10 years ago now) I was making 65K a year. If I would have know what the next ten years looked like I would've choked. In fact: :lmao::lmao::lmao: Anyone who's life was mapped out and executed the way that they had it at 21......just .......wow.....you are rare. 1
serial muse Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 (edited) It's not exactly about gender, but when a woman posts here that she's going out with a man who likes to party and doesn't make much money while she's ambitious and successful, the posters are unanimous in telling her he's not good enough for her, that he's a loser who won't grow up, and of course she should dump him. There's a huge amount of sympathy for a female when the genders are reversed though. Re: the bolded: Are they? Are they really? I don't think so. I think it's just the common refrain here, but not borne out by the actual evidence. Anyway, honestly, I don't care about the gender war and it's not germaine to this thread, as I said. I'm more interested in this perspective: I just had a look at the OPs other threads, and I think he only said that stuff to his GF to make her break up with him. It's the easy way out, he is moving to America, and he doesn't have to feel guilty about breaking her heart if she broke up with him. But it backfired because she really loves him. Don't be a wimp guy OP, just break it off and go follow your career, it's what you really want. Seriously, if you are just straight forward and honest about what you want, you will feel like more of a man afterwards, even if for a moment you feel crap for hurting her. OP, is this accurate? If so, your path is clear... Edited to add: And OP, in your previous thread, you also note that your girlfriend just got into a prestigious college. While you were a professional gamer who is now making a lot of money. Props to you for living your dream, but I hardly see why you feel qualified to judge her for her intellect. Break up with her. She will go to college, you will go to the US. Everybody wins. Edited June 17, 2013 by serial muse 1
worldgonewrong Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 My projection of what will happen: She will be Eliza DooLittle to his Henry Higgins for about, oh, a couple weeks. Then she'll start to feel massive resentment and dump him. 1
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I agree with those who said it was a d-bag move. Even if its true, there's not many things that are more hurtful than what you said. You basically called her an idiot. I would have dumped you on the spot and never speak to you ever again. I'm all for finding an intellectual equal and wanting someone intelligent, but not everyone can be that and not everyone has the ability or desire to be the ultra best. At some point, you have to accept someone for who they are and whatever shortcomings they have.
SuperGeek Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 (edited) Is this relationship over? Yup, I'm thinking it is... What does this girl have to do be on your level? Personally, I've dumped girls who have the same type of personality as you. At my age (34), I'm done trying to impress people. A girl must like me for ME including my flaws/insecurities AND NOT my possessions or monetary value. If they aren't genuinely interested in ME, then they can hit the road and most of them do. lol. The vast majority of people on the planet aren't millionaires, aren't super models, and aren't over-acheivers. Just look at the statistics on who makes millions a year and you'll arrive at a very small percentage. A million isn't what it used to be anymore. Most houses or flats in Sydney cost several MILLION just to start. If you want an over-achiver girl, you aren't going to be able to force your girl to be that way -- it's like any other talent in life, it must come from within. You can't force her to be a business owner, a fitness health nut, or any thing else for that matter. She is who she is and no amount of nagging is going to craft her into something you will accept. Think about it, you can't change people. They are who they are. I hope you never lose your money or end up fat, because it seems like a lot of your self worth is tied up in your ability to be seen as someone who has more 'stuff' than everyone else. I think it was good that you were honest with her though, as harsh as it probably was. Now she can decide if she wants to take on the life long challenge of trying to 'be good enough' for you to keep her around. If she isn't good enough for you now, please be a man and dump her so that she can get on with her life and meet someone who find her special. SuperGeek Edited June 18, 2013 by SuperGeek 2
SuperGeek Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Your writings permeate with life experience. I can feel the emotion through the words as I read them! I too have been through life ups/downs and at 21 thought I had it all mapped out too I'm doing pretty good financially, but wow, I had some major falls before I figured it out Hell, I could fall again ... but at least now I'm wiser. Anyways, I didn't mean to derail the convo. We need to get back to discussing how the OP can help his current girlfriend shape 'change' herself into being someone that 'he will accept' . LOL. LOL, At 21, (a sadly vast 10 years ago now) I was making 65K a year. If I would have know what the next ten years looked like I would've choked. In fact: :lmao::lmao::lmao: Anyone who's life was mapped out and executed the way that they had it at 21......just .......wow.....you are rare.
BeholdtheMan Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I am an overachiever - successful manager, highly ambitious to become a millionaire before I hit 30 (It's definitely happening)Behold the second coming of Bill Gates Is this relationship over?Despite your egotistical asshattery, your relationship, thanks to your girlfriend's eagerness to please you, is not over unless you want it to be over. 1
tory1012 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I am an overachiever - successful manager, highly ambitious to become a millionaire before I hit 30 (It's definitely happening) and my girlfriend is just an ordinary country girl that used to party a lot and hang out with people whose IQ is lower than their age. She is not ambitious and she has absolutely no idea what she wants to do with her life. She has definitely started to change since she met me. She no longer drinks or smokes, she doesn't go to parties anymore, she always comes to the gym with me and yes, she constantly tells me how much she loves me and how glad she is for having met me. It was great, honeymoon period and all, but today I made a brutal mistake. I am a very honest person and I told her she is not very intellectual and that her lack of ambition is a big turn off for me. She thanked me for my honesty and promised to change. She started asking me about what books she should read and buried me in questions about management and business. She said she wanted to deserve me, and that she is willing to work as hard as she has to to achieve that. I really hurt her, it's obvious. I've already apologized several times, but she says I have every right to be mad and that it's her fault. I feel so horrible, because I love her and truly care for her. Is this relationship over? Is there an age gap between the two of you? Anyway I was in a relationship for four years similar to this one. I was playing the role of the your partner. Unfortunately this will not work. She will always have this feeling that she is not good enough for you and will constantly worry what you think of her. It will come to the point where her whole identity is actually attached to you. There needs to be equality in a relationship and unfortunately by you saying this it never will be because she will always be insecure about how intellectually compatible she is with you. On the positive side, you have most likely imprinted on her for the future. She will most likely gain a thirst for knowledge and want to learn new things. Personally i think she should find books that she enjoys not just reading the ones that you recommend because she is trying to be you not an individual. Yeah I only say this because as mentioned previously I was in a relationship very similar and this is what happened to me. Everybody is different, but I find it difficult to think that somebody can overcome something like this.
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