My ex and I are spending a lot of time together...

[FuturePanda]

My ex boyfriend and I were together for a few years. Almost a year ago we broke up because we were not communicating and arguing all the time, we got lost and I couldn't stand they way were treating each other. We continued to live together for the next several months and were civil and even friendly.

Eventually he said he was asked to be roommates by a friend and he moved out. For the couple of weeks before he moved out we had started sleeping together again and reconnecting. It was great, it caught me by surprise, I had no idea I was even open to it. After he moved out he still came over all the time and it was nice to be close again. Once I called it what it was though, he panicked, and said he doesn't want a girlfriend.

Things were bad for awhile, I was hurt and didn't understand how he could love me but not want to be with me anymore. He started going out more and seeing people and enjoying the single life. After a few weeks of emotional ups and downs, he cut off all contact with me, so I left him alone.

During this week of no contact, I moved out of our place and in a new house with a friend. He found out about it and popped back up wanting to to know all about my move and what was going on in my life. He said he wanted to be friends. The next few weeks were spent trying to be his friend but it was really hard, everything I did was "too much". We started seeing each other less, he flaked on any plans we made even after initially agreeing to them.

Fast forward a few months to about three weeks ago and we're friends again. We started hanging out again occasionally and getting along, due in part to my happiness I think. I had been eating well and working out and losing weight, I was happy.

For the last two weeks, I've spent 5/7 nights a week staying over at his house, and we see each other almost everyday of the week. I don't really know how it happened, all of the sudden he became nicer, more considerate, and he wanted to spend time with me. We've been having a lot of fun together and he tells me he loves me everyday and I just don't know what to think.

I'm afraid to try to talk about it because I don't want to scare him off again. He's my best friend and I'm fine with just seeing where it goes, there is just a small part of me that worries that I'm a placeholder. That the half of him thats out the door is scanning the horizon.

I love him and I know we had our issues before, and all I want is a chance to try again, to improve our love and build a better relationship.

Any advice on how I can continue/progress things without putting any pressure on him?

[Jono85]

My ex boyfriend and I were together for a few years. Almost a year ago we broke up because we were not communicating and arguing all the time, we got lost and I couldn't stand they way were treating each other. We continued to live together for the next several months and were civil and even friendly.

Eventually he said he was asked to be roommates by a friend and he moved out. For the couple of weeks before he moved out we had started sleeping together again and reconnecting. It was great, it caught me by surprise, I had no idea I was even open to it. After he moved out he still came over all the time and it was nice to be close again. Once I called it what it was though, he panicked, and said he doesn't want a girlfriend.

Things were bad for awhile, I was hurt and didn't understand how he could love me but not want to be with me anymore. He started going out more and seeing people and enjoying the single life. After a few weeks of emotional ups and downs, he cut off all contact with me, so I left him alone.

During this week of no contact, I moved out of our place and in a new house with a friend. He found out about it and popped back up wanting to to know all about my move and what was going on in my life. He said he wanted to be friends. The next few weeks were spent trying to be his friend but it was really hard, everything I did was "too much". We started seeing each other less, he flaked on any plans we made even after initially agreeing to them.

Fast forward a few months to about three weeks ago and we're friends again. We started hanging out again occasionally and getting along, due in part to my happiness I think. I had been eating well and working out and losing weight, I was happy.

For the last two weeks, I've spent 5/7 nights a week staying over at his house, and we see each other almost everyday of the week. I don't really know how it happened, all of the sudden he became nicer, more considerate, and he wanted to spend time with me. We've been having a lot of fun together and he tells me he loves me everyday and I just don't know what to think.

I'm afraid to try to talk about it because I don't want to scare him off again. He's my best friend and I'm fine with just seeing where it goes, there is just a small part of me that worries that I'm a placeholder. That the half of him thats out the door is scanning the horizon.

I love him and I know we had our issues before, and all I want is a chance to try again, to improve our love and build a better relationship.

Any advice on how I can continue/progress things without putting any pressure on him?

 

i'm sorry, don't take this the wrong way, b/c i do think you can easily change this, but..only a low value woman would act the way you've acted with him. he comes and goes as he pleases. getting sex from you whenever he wants without any commitment. of course he loves you more now lol. the fact that you cannot even feel comfortable expressing your feelings, b/c everytime you do he pushes you away, should have been obvious enough to know what's going on. he likely doesn't respect you in the slightest, regardless of what he says. a high value woman would never tolerate this type of situation. it's gone on for a year now. maybe it's time to think about what you deserve and what kind of value you want to place on yourself, b/c you're being used pretty hardcore. goodluck.

[Simon Phoenix]

5-7 nights a week and you aren't dating? Holy lack of boundaries Batman. I think you need to establish some independence here. You are going to smother this guy at this rate.