SimonSerenade Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 So after the break up I had decided to delete my YouTube account as it had videos on it where I mentioned my ex and i posted a last video on it saying I had no time for it and needed a break from anything Internet related. I used to do videos about on going inner ear problems and the nightmare it is to live with it, anyway I went ahead and deleted it but before I did that i checked my inbox and there was a message from this girl I was getting to know before my ex came along, she said it would be nice if we could catch up so she gave me her email address, anyway, we've been conversing back and forth and now she wants to see me as we haven't seen each other since I got with my ex. Right now I'm having a hard time with the break up and after my hospital appointment this morning, I'm awaiting an appointment for wisdom teeth extraction and I have to go back for further tests on my heart, I may need a pace maker which is better news than it be being more serious like they made it sound. So yeah I'm terrified as both of these operations are performed while your awake!, stuff never used to be so scary when my ex was around as she was there afterwards, now she's gone and I'm going this alone, I'd like to give myself a break and spend some time with her, she was always really really sweet and genuinely a lovely person to be around, when I was getting to know her she made me feel really good about myself, I could really use that confidence boost again but something inside me is preventing me from replying. I don't know if it's because I feel I might feel something for her or she might feel something for me but however I look at it I love my ex very much and as much as i accept that she's gone and never coming back, it just doesn't feel over because she never gave me a reason, even if I'm not ready should I just see this girl?, right now I'd love just to have some company and talk. I also feel another thing that holds me back is I'll think of my ex doing the same and for me that'll be a big step back, I don't know what to do.
Ale khun Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 I think you could give yourself a chance and get to know this girl what can you lose ?
Author SimonSerenade Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 She wants to see me on Saturday before she goes on a night out with her friends, she said she always watched my videos and hoped for the best for me, kind of brought a tear to my eye thinking someone thought so well of me like that, I just feel like I'd be doing something wrong but I don't know why I feel guilty as my ex is most likely texting and talking to plenty of guys right now, it's not like I want anything to happen with the girl, I just want someone to talk to and unlike like my ex, she listens and it genuinely seems like she cares. I'll probably think it over tonight and reply to her tomorrow.
Ale khun Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Just give it a try , I really hope you have a great time with her Good Luck !!!!
aisuru Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Life's too short. Just go and have fun. Seeing a woman doesn't mean you have to marry her. It'll be good for you.
Author SimonSerenade Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 I think I will, now I just need to find the courage to reply to her lol I don't want to risk liking her again and letting her down again, apparently it upset her when I got with my ex and that's why I never heard from her, she's such a wonderfully nice person, id hate to do that to her, so I just hope she gets the right impression that it's a friends thing and not a more than friends thing.
aisuru Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Before she starts to send a signal, NOT this first meet up, just casually drop in conversation that you are still working on yourself after a rough break up and how you're getting out in life and just enjoying meeting people. If she actually comes out and says something or pursues something, just let her know how much you would like to get to know her, but are not ready to pursue a romantic relationship at this time. Doing that sooner than later is key.
Author SimonSerenade Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 Good advice, I'll make sure I do that right now my mindset is so far away from romance and relationships, I honestly think this time I'm probably going to stay alone like the other men in my family because most people I meet these days aren't interested in commitment and when they are committed they run like the gates of hell just opened up behind them lol My dad and my grandad were always happy alone, my grandad has lots of female friends but he's just never been interested, same goes for my dad, he's in his late 40s and has only just opened himself up to the idea, I wouldn't mind getting to know this girl again but who knows if I'll ever open myself up for all that again.
Author SimonSerenade Posted June 14, 2013 Author Posted June 14, 2013 I replied to her after I finished work, had a long think about it and figured it would do me more bad than good right now, I have a feeling she will want something I can't give and that's not fair on her, I think just having that offer to spend time with a beautiful woman has filled me with confidence and gave me back some self worth that I lost with the ex, right now I just want to focus on me and get me back to a happy and content place that doesn't think about the ex anymore.
jphcbpa Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 good luck. I can feel that you are grieving this loss. Just know that this new girl will not fix you. Sure she can make you feel warm and fuzzy, but she is not the cure for the process you must face. Be good to yourself, cut yourself some slack.
Author SimonSerenade Posted June 14, 2013 Author Posted June 14, 2013 Thanks, I know that, I just want to grieve and really feel it, I geuss there's no avoiding that process no matter how hard you try, nobody can take it away or take anything away from it, which is why I opted against seeing her.
Recommended Posts