Allombus Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 I'm eighteen years old, and I met my girlfriend in 8th grade. Since then we've had a very, very happy relationship with minor qualms here and there, but nothing terrible that we couldn't work through. I know I may seem too young to fully comprehend the implications of marriage and such, but I see it as a definite option for her and I if things are to continue in the way that they've been for the past four years. However there is one thing hindering my ultimate decision making on this topic (not that I am thinking of proposing or anything). I wonder that if I ultimately do decide that I want to marry her in the future, is it wrong for me to tell her that she needs to lose a little weight? I am not worried about this for aesthetic reasons. I find her very sexy, and very attractive, and our sex life is very healthy, but I worry about her health. And don't get me wrong, she's not obese or anything. She's just a tad overweight and could use to lose a few pounds to reach a certain health standard. Over the course of our relationship I've offered to exercise with her, which we've done. We've both cut soda out of our diets at my suggestion, and a few other implementations at my discretion. However, I wonder if this is wrong for me to doing, and ultimately hurting her. Am I being selfish, myopic, and shallow? Or is it acceptable for me to worry about the health of my partner in the long run? Just asking for opinions. Thanks in advance.
pink_sugar Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 It doesn't sound like she is unhealthy and you find her attractive. So, what's the big deal? A few pounds isn't a huge deal unless she suddenly put on weight. It would be shallow to tell her she "needs to lose 5 more pounds". Just continue to do what you're already doing. Encouraging better eating habits and a healthier lifestyle. It sounds like you're on the right track. 1
TigerCub Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 hmmm, in all honesty, if she "could use to lose a few pounds" and isn't obese, then it's not really about health. I mean if she's 10-15lbs overweight then at that point it is a looks issue and not really a health issue. Are you more concerned about the possibility that she will continue to gain weight in the future? 1
FitChick Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 It's a good idea to create good habits now, while you are both young. No soda and more exercise is a good thing. Concentrate on that instead of weight and the weight will come off. When you go out to eat, don't go to fast food places but go somewhere that offers a healthier option. Buy Gwyneth Paltrow's cookbook, It's All Good, which has lots of healthy and tasty recipes you can learn to cook together. It has recipes for kids' menus as well, so you could say you have to practice making these healthful meals for your future kids. If you get married and have kids, you will have those healthful habits in place and your kids won't end up obese like so many others. 1
KungFuJoe Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 It's perfectly fine to be concerned. Kids your age eat whatever they want and don't gain weight. Fast forward ten years and its a completely different story. Most couples I know who have been together for a very long time have slowly gotten bigger over the years. Start the good eating habits now otherwise it gets a lot harder to adjust when you get older. 2
furnished Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 I don't buy this. Being a little overweight isn't a health problem per se, some studies have found overweight people live longer (when controlling for other factors). It sounds like you just don't like how she looks. If you're genuinely concerned with health then eat well together, exercise together and focus on a healthy lifestyle. 1
Star Gazer Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 hmmm, in all honesty, if she "could use to lose a few pounds" and isn't obese, then it's not really about health. I mean if she's 10-15lbs overweight then at that point it is a looks issue and not really a health issue. Are you more concerned about the possibility that she will continue to gain weight in the future? Totally agree. I've got a layer of about 10 pounds total and I'm healthier than ever and think I look pretty good too. 2
fishtaco Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Don't be afraid to be shallow. If it matters to you, it matters to you. If height matters to women, why can't weight matter to men? People on LS tend to be the saintly types, where they will date a short ugly man with no job and no money as long as he has a good heart. And they expect everyone in the world to be like that. Unfortunately, that's not the case. Looks matter, period. Looks matter even when you're out looking for a job. There's a study that good looking people in general get paid higher salaries. So sorry bro, out in the real world, looks matter. The thing to do is you create a workout/get in shape program for yourself, whether you need it or not, then bring her along as a "let's do it together" thing. In the long run, like FitChick said, it is better to establish healthy habits. When you look better, you feel better, and people, even in non-romantic or even professional relationships, will respond to you differently.
shexy Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I'm eighteen years old, and I met my girlfriend in 8th grade. Since then we've had a very, very happy relationship with minor qualms here and there, but nothing terrible that we couldn't work through. I know I may seem too young to fully comprehend the implications of marriage and such, but I see it as a definite option for her and I if things are to continue in the way that they've been for the past four years. However there is one thing hindering my ultimate decision making on this topic (not that I am thinking of proposing or anything). I wonder that if I ultimately do decide that I want to marry her in the future, is it wrong for me to tell her that she needs to lose a little weight? I am not worried about this for aesthetic reasons. I find her very sexy, and very attractive, and our sex life is very healthy, but I worry about her health. And don't get me wrong, she's not obese or anything. She's just a tad overweight and could use to lose a few pounds to reach a certain health standard. Over the course of our relationship I've offered to exercise with her, which we've done. We've both cut soda out of our diets at my suggestion, and a few other implementations at my discretion. However, I wonder if this is wrong for me to doing, and ultimately hurting her. Am I being selfish, myopic, and shallow? Or is it acceptable for me to worry about the health of my partner in the long run? Just asking for opinions. Thanks in advance. If you tell her to lose weight, you're a jerk. Sorry. 1
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