macy Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 A friend and I were talking about cheating and affairs. We were discussing these issues as they related to us. 1. Do you think that some men (even women) cheat to force the other spouse to leave or want divorce? 2. Regarding affairs... Why would someone (this case the husband) have multiple one-night stands in a marriage (4-5 confessed) over a 2-3 year period?(Side note: this husband was deployed in the military quite a lot over the years). None were ongoing affairs. It's very hard to generalize and speculate but does this seem like a strong desire to want out of the marriage and leave the wife (I.e the perceived cause of the misery) or more an internal bigger issue like depression or such.
TigerCub Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 A friend and I were talking about cheating and affairs. We were discussing these issues as they related to us. 1. Do you think that some men (even women) cheat to force the other spouse to leave or want divorce? 2. Regarding affairs... Why would someone (this case the husband) have multiple one-night stands in a marriage (4-5 confessed) over a 2-3 year period?(Side note: this husband was deployed in the military quite a lot over the years). None were ongoing affairs. It's very hard to generalize and speculate but does this seem like a strong desire to want out of the marriage and leave the wife (I.e the perceived cause of the misery) or more an internal bigger issue like depression or such. The better question is - why would the wife (in this case) accept that kind of terrible treatment?...I am assuming she's still with him because you mentioned "the husband in this case" not the soon to be ex husband... To answer your first question: - It varies (like in everything else) Yes, some people have affairs in some weird attempt to get their spouse to be the one to pull the trigger on ending the relationship. Cheaters are cowardly, so that makes sense. - But some cheaters just cheat for the hell of it - a. they're missing something at home, and try to find it elsewhere rather than addressing those issues head on with their spouse. b. they are happy at home and just want excitement on the side c. they are serial cheaters and have much bigger issues and this is how they go about things instead of fixing what's wrong with them... etc.. After 4-5 ONS, does the reason really matter in the end?
cocorico Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 A friend and I were talking about cheating and affairs. We were discussing these issues as they related to us. 1. Do you think that some men (even women) cheat to force the other spouse to leave or want divorce? 2. Regarding affairs... Why would someone (this case the husband) have multiple one-night stands in a marriage (4-5 confessed) over a 2-3 year period?(Side note: this husband was deployed in the military quite a lot over the years). None were ongoing affairs. It's very hard to generalize and speculate but does this seem like a strong desire to want out of the marriage and leave the wife (I.e the perceived cause of the misery) or more an internal bigger issue like depression or such. If someone is cheating in an R, then something is wrong (in the R, or with at least one of the partners, which affects the R). If the R was strong and healthy, the person feeling unhappy would be able to explain to their partner how they felt, that they wanted to leave the R, or that they wanted sexual variety, and the issue could be addressed openly and constructively. People cheat because they feel they cannot be honest within their R.
woinlove Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 Actually, some people cheat because they don't want to be honest. There are lots of reason people cheat but one requirement is that they have to be willing to be dishonest and disloyal. Not everyone is willing to take that route, but for those who are, they may cheat simply because they think they can, because they are unhappy, because they have poor interpersonal skills, because their spouse is ill, because they lost their job, etc., etc. 1
jf2good Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 1. Yes, some men do. 2. No, one night affairs are not a desire to leave the marriage. They are because of other issues. In the good old days for men (I know you will hate that) the man could sneak off to his local whore house, get his fix and keep the marriage and all was right in the world or such from his perspective. I know lots of happily married men who see escorts on a regular basis, maybe that is why they are happily married. Unhappy men what to replace the current model with a newer model aka long term affairs with a younger women or perceived younger women in his eyes. Okay not what you wanted to hear, but it's from a man's point of view. Some other men may disagree, but funny thing is they often are caught doing what they deny.
Recommended Posts