inaya42 Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 friends, how do you know when it is time to start a new relationship after a breakup? enough time has passed, and i feel 90% over things. and i am ready for physical relationship with a new person. but what scares me is that this particular new guy is very nice and very into me. and the idea of someone delicately wooing me and being so nice makes me want to cry. my ex was a lovely man who became close to me after a meaningful period of courting and friendship, but he broke my heart in the most traumatic and disrespectful way. i just don't know that i can handle someone new working his way into my confidence and my heart again. when i think about it, i just don't actually want to share me. help -- what should i do???
salparadise Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 friends, how do you know when it is time to start a new relationship after a breakup? enough time has passed, and i feel 90% over things. and i am ready for physical relationship with a new person. but what scares me is that this particular new guy is very nice and very into me. and the idea of someone delicately wooing me and being so nice makes me want to cry. my ex was a lovely man who became close to me after a meaningful period of courting and friendship, but he broke my heart in the most traumatic and disrespectful way. i just don't know that i can handle someone new working his way into my confidence and my heart again. when i think about it, i just don't actually want to share me. help -- what should i do??? In a word, therapy. As you suggest, it's one thing to dissolve an attachment, but it's another to learn to trust and open your heart again after having it broken. There are things you just have to accept... Loving and being vulnerable are opposite sides of the same coin. You can't have one without the other. Relationships end for various reasons, but most of them end in a way that's painful to one or both parties. It's only possible to have one romantic relationship in this life that doesn't end, and that's only if you die before your partner. Joy and suffering are also two sides of the same coin; you cannot possibly have one without the other. Both love and suffering are growth experiences that help us become who we are destined to be. Learning to accept and embrace ambiguity is one of the most liberating things you can do... because we really aren't in control of outcomes. All we can do is open ourselves to possibilities, seize opportunities as they are presented, and trust that things will be ok. "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end." -Ed Sheeran 1
Author inaya42 Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 In a word, therapy. As you suggest, it's one thing to dissolve an attachment, but it's another to learn to trust and open your heart again after having it broken. There are things you just have to accept... Loving and being vulnerable are opposite sides of the same coin. You can't have one without the other. Relationships end for various reasons, but most of them end in a way that's painful to one or both parties. It's only possible to have one romantic relationship in this life that doesn't end, and that's only if you die before your partner. Joy and suffering are also two sides of the same coin; you cannot possibly have one without the other. Both love and suffering are growth experiences that help us become who we are destined to be. Learning to accept and embrace ambiguity is one of the most liberating things you can do... because we really aren't in control of outcomes. All we can do is open ourselves to possibilities, seize opportunities as they are presented, and trust that things will be ok. "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end." -Ed Sheeran thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
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