Ruined a great friendship...Just want to go back to the way things were

[2ndChance]

Hi guys im new to this forum:

 

After looking everywhere for advice i looked at this site and it seems like there were enuff friendly people to help me with my problem

 

Anyways, during the summer of '04 i met this girl, ill admit she was a pretty girl, she very cute looking. I didnt think any of it though..because i had just gotten out of a bad relationship. As days pass by we talked about our problems and our perfect soul mate, we would end up calling each other everyday and conversations would last forever. We ended up hanging out a lot to the point where we would hang out everyday. The more we hung, the more i find myself liking this girl, but i kept my feelings to myself because i didnt want to ruin a great relationship that me and this person had. There were days where i find myself liking this girl, and days where i just think of her as a friend. Another reason why i was holding my feelings back was because i didnt want to get into a relationship. Days later i find out the she feels the exact same way for me, so we decide to just be friends so that we wont ruin anything.

 

We acted like nothing was wrong and things are still normal so everything was still fine. Times ive hung out with her, there were just times where i was so tempted to just kiss her but i held myself back because that would ruin everything. Then out of nowhere she just stopped calling me, it seemed like she was avoiding and ignoring me because at school when i would talk to her it seemed like she was telling me to back off with her body movements. She would always touch me and lock arms with me when i walk her to her class but for 4 days that ive tried talking to her, she never once touched nor locked arms with me. Things felt awkward, I thought to myself okay, well ill back off..so a week passed by without talking or seeing her and then she finally calls me only to tell me that she made out with another guy while she was drunk. I acted like it didnt bother me at all and i just pretended that nothing was wrong. The converstation ended up with her snapping at me because i acted like nothing was wrong.

 

The next day i called her to apologize for lying and i told her that it did bother me and that it did hurt. I also told her that if she didnt tell me she liked me it wouldnt have bothered me as much. So from that point on we decided to STAY AND REMAIN AS FRIENDS AND ONLY AS FRIENDS with no greater feelings. After this conversation ended we havent talked since, we havent seen each other since.

 

I dont want to lose this great friendship we had, Shes just one of those girls i can get along with really well, she can make me laugh just like that and we never have "awkward" silence when we hang out. I feel really comfortable with this girl. What should i do about my problem? I would give anything to have a 2nd chance at this great friendship that we had. Id rather be friends with her and not date her then to date her and then lose her in like a month. Infact it feels weird not talking to her, she is an awesome girl and i want to lose our friendship. What should i do?

 

Sorry if its a long story, but i figured you would want to whole story.

[2ndChance]

could someone give me some advice please?

 

If this topic has already been posted can someone send me the link, that way i dont take up much of ur time?

 

thanks

[whichwayisup]

Well it can't get any worse. So go for it! TELL HER you love her. Grab her and kiss her. Just do it because she is feeling it too but is just scared. She wants you to make the first move but isn't 100% sure either... I am just winging it here eh, so take my advice or leave it...But I would definately go for it. Once feelings are discussed and the soulmate thing comes up...YOU can't go back to being just friends...It's kinda like sex that way... Can't go back to holding hands. SO only move forward!!

 

Hope this helps abit! Be honest, sincere and really show her, tell her how special and amazing it could be!!!

 

Post back and let us know how it goes either way.

[2ndChance]

The problem is, we both dont want a relationship, we are both scared that we would break up and thats it, no more contact or anything thats why we just want to be friends even tho there will always be a spark between us. The problem is, our friendship is going downhill; she has been ignoring me and not calling. How do i fix this?

[whichwayisup]

You both can't be so scared of taking chances!! No matter what, even if you don't end up together, each of you will meet someone else. One SO might not like the fact you both are close friends...What if there is a choice that had to be made?? What if you and your friend DID together and it worked out??

 

Communication, honesty and being open is the only way to fix this either way now. Send her flowers, tell her you must work it out! IF it doesn't work, back off and let her come find you. Stay stong!