turnerik Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 So my ex is signed up for an online class this summer for college. I helped her get into it even after we broke up. The class started on Monday, and I know she hasn't even looked at it. I'm not sure if she knows how to get into it, or even if it is going on. She cares so much about school, like she would cry if she was getting less than a B in High School. She was stressing out last week when she contacted me. My question is should I help her out? Should I remind her that her online class has started? If she does not submit the first assignment by next Monday, she will be dropped from the class, and lose a bunch of money on the class. I know she only contacts me when she needs my help, and I feel like I'm being used, but I feel like I should help her. If I help her, she may know that I will always be there for her, and will never want me back as a relationship, and I will probably feel like crap and she probably won't appreciate it, and she will just leave me on the side until she needs help again with school BUT if I don't help her, she will be miserable, and I will feel like crap because I know she stresses out over school, and it will really mess up her plan for the classes she has to take to graduate in time. I feel it's a lose lose situation for me. One last thing, if she does contact me, what should I say, if anything. I feel like if I ignore her, like she does to me, then I'm a jackass. I want to say to her that I can't just help you whenever you need me, and then when I try and contact you, you completely ignore me. Until you can hold an actual conversation with me, I can't help you, because you are using me. It's not fair to me, to help you out whenever you need it, and then you can't even have the respect to respond to a message I send to you apologizing for my behavior. I want her back, and would do anything for her. I guess it just sucks knowing I would do anything and everything for her, and she would do NOTHING for me.
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Absolutely NOT! Unless of course, you'd like to help out the guy she's bangin' too? Get my point? Its HER PROBLEM, NOT YOURS!
Zahara Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 I know she only contacts me when she needs my help, and I feel like I'm being used, but I feel like I should help her.. Yes, you should help her. It seems you like to be used. Keep continuing what you are doing. And let's be real, it's not about helping her. You want to be the nice guy so she'll see how great you are and it may increase your chances of winning her back. Sadly, all you've made yourself out to be is a doormat. Girls don't date doormats. They use them. 2
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 yes, you should help her. It seems you like to be used. Keep continuing what you are doing. And let's be real, it's not about helping her. You want to be the nice guy so she'll see how great you are and it may increase your chances of winning her back. Sadly, all you've made yourself out to be is a doormat. Girls don't date doormats. They use them. exactly this!
Hockeyguy19 Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Absolutely NOT! Unless of course, you'd like to help out the guy she's bangin' too? Get my point? Its HER PROBLEM, NOT YOURS! Been there, done that, does nothing for you except make you feel used and abused, quit while your ahead. I did the EXACT same thing, and she used me last month for her assignment, I do not recommend helping her, it makes it that much worse for you in the end.
TaraMaiden Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 Yeah... The general consensus of opinion id that if you help her - you're a schmuck. hate to add my voice of assent, but... I add my voice of assent. not that you'll listen to anyone here anyway. You WILL go ahead and do this, of that I personally have no doubt. And for all the reasons mentioned, too.
KathyM Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 I know you care about her, but you are not her parent. She is an adult and needs to take responsibility for her own things. She dumped you and you need to have the self respect to go NC with her. Don't let her use you. She won't respect you or be attracted to you if you allow her to use you.
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