wideawake0310 Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 I broke up with my Muslim boyfriend about a month ago. We were going out for more than a year and it was intense. When I asked him if we had future, he gave me a blunt response of no. I feel so hurt about this. Anybody ever rejected because of different color /culture ? Why would he even go out with me of he knew from the beginning? I'm so confused and hurt.
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Yep. Me! She (ex) was jewish (half). Oh Dear mother of Earth did I love her!!!! But I wasn't worthy. She dumped me (I'm Italian) I'm a Paramedic, lost A LOT of friends in 911. But still have Muslim friends! I do NOT judge people by religeon, They are either good or bad, nor do I judge people by their beliefs- I respect them, until it interferes with ME!!! GOD IS FAKE! Your BF, or whatever he CLAIMS to be is an IDIOT. No? To lose love over something that DOES NOT EXIST? You be the judge. Get a better man who isn't lead around by a FAIRYTAIL.
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 (edited) WHOA!!! I take that back! You dumped him? I eat my words! religion has NOTHING to do with it! ACTUALLY IT DOES: YOUR BELIEFS, and where YOU are letting YOUR FALSE sense of security guide you! But suit yourself. What other advice would you like??? Good luck. Edited June 13, 2013 by BrokenHeartedSavior
nicolewest Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I tend to date men from different backgrounds than my own. It only became an issue with my last bf. He is Nigerian. We dated for close to 2 yrs but throughout the relationship he keep egging on about how he wanted a Nigerian woman/wife, how different our cultures are. I let him know how he was offending me but I doubt he really understood. Your bf/exbf told u he doesnt want a future with u. That's all the reason u need to break up and stay broken up. 1
lailax3 Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I broke up with my Muslim boyfriend about a month ago. We were going out for more than a year and it was intense. When I asked him if we had future, he gave me a blunt response of no. I feel so hurt about this. Anybody ever rejected because of different color /culture ? Why would he even go out with me of he knew from the beginning? I'm so confused and hurt. As a Muslim female, I'll explain why he dated you despite knowing he wouldn't build a future with you. Muslim men only date non Muslim women so they can receive 'the whole package' of a relationship. This including sex. Muslim women tend to wait until after marriage so Muslim men don't usually date them. They date outside thier religion and culture until they get married to 'one of thier own'. This doesn't apply to all Muslims, but this is the general pattern where I am (UK) I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's unfair. What a coward of a man. However it's better you realised his intentions now rather than later. You deserve better than that idiot. 2
HokeyReligions Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I don't see what the big deal is, except for your hurt feelins and I'm sorry for you for that. But isn't that what dating is about? Getting to know each other. Learning how each of your priorities line up with the other persons. To see if cultural or religious or racial or geographic similarities are a match. And then having that talk several times along the way... is there a future? Its uncommon when both partners reach the same level of feelings at the same time. One of the questions when one falls in love is to ask the other if they think there is a possibility of reciprocal feeling in the future. At some point both must agree there is a chance for a future, or one or both step up and say no. Someone is going to get hurt. I'm sorry that you are hurt now and I hope you can move on and heal quickly. 1
Stefanie Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 My ex is Croatian and therefore Catholic while I'm an Australian Chinese and Anglican. Religion is a touchy subject because how much we subject to it is actually up the individual. Personally if I love a person enough, I look past traditional practices. I don't know much about Catholicism but I do believe some see marrying an Anglican as heresy. I was lucky enough that my ex didn't think religion came before personal happiness and we lasted a long time and he left me for other reasons. His parents weren't overly pleased about us but since I made their son happy, they accepted our relationship. The only thing I think that mattered was that if we had children, they might have been raised Catholic. Not all issues with relationships rising from religion or culture are the same though. Sometimes someone simply knows that their culture wouldn't allow it and they're not expecting to be able to push the boundaries. For a lot of people, family comes first. I personally would never date someone I didn't consider a future with. If I knew that religion or culture wouldn't allow us to marry or be together permanently, I'd save myself the heartbreak. I'm sorry you had to find out your ex's intentions that way.
Keenly Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 Yep. Me! She (ex) was jewish (half). Oh Dear mother of Earth did I love her!!!! But I wasn't worthy. She dumped me (I'm Italian) I'm a Paramedic, lost A LOT of friends in 911. But still have Muslim friends! I do NOT judge people by religeon, They are either good or bad, nor do I judge people by their beliefs- I respect them, until it interferes with ME!!! GOD IS FAKE! Your BF, or whatever he CLAIMS to be is an IDIOT. No? To lose love over something that DOES NOT EXIST? You be the judge. Get a better man who isn't lead around by a FAIRYTAIL. Now hang on a second. While I too think religion is not really something worth my time, It IS important to a lot of people. Don't sit there and demean something that is part of peoples lives and makes them happy, just because you do not partake in it. 1
D-Lish Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 Now hang on a second. While I too think religion is not really something worth my time, It IS important to a lot of people. Don't sit there and demean something that is part of peoples lives and makes them happy, just because you do not partake in it. He may not believe in a god, but he's been negatively affected by religion regardless - so I think it's fair to say he's earned his right to voice his opinion.
Author wideawake0310 Posted June 15, 2013 Author Posted June 15, 2013 Thank you guys for all the support. What he did to me really hit me big time and affected my self esteem
Stefanie Posted June 15, 2013 Posted June 15, 2013 Yeah, it would hurt. But it's no one's fault. You two just had really different ideas of the relationship. It was brave of you to let go. A lot of people would fight to try change the person's mind. I probably would have. If you invested a lot into the relationship, think about what you gained despite it not lasting and you're next relationship will be more successful.
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