J_L_C Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Has anyone on here ever had a really bad breakup, but heard from the ex much, much later down the road once time has passed and things have calmed down? I ask this because I've had a few really bad breakups and a few amicable ones. Some reached out years and years down the road just to say hi. Others I never heard from again. One in fact, said he never, EVER wanted to speak to me again, yet 8 YEARS later, I got a message on FB just saying "wow, long time, how's life?". Nothing more than that. I'm just curious about those with really bad breakup experiences from a long time ago. Did you ever hear from that ex, even if it was just for a "hello, how are you?" Or has a lot of time passed and you've still not heard anything?
MusicgirlE Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 My first boyfriend and I had a mutual breakup, but it didn't end on the best of terms I never heard from him once we broke up, except to try and be friends, but it didn't last *laughs* If he and I saw each other on the street though, we would probably say hello to each other though. That relationship was 4 years ago. My second boyfriend and I both knew we weren't good together, but he was the one that broke up with me. We don't want to speak to each other, and I would be SHOCKED if he ever contacted me, not that he has a way too, since he doesn't know my # and I've changed my email since then. This was 2.5 years ago. My third boyfriend and I parted ways on so so terms. Definitely not friendly terms, but we didn't hate each other. I have never run into him, and except once when he had to do me a favor (he actually had to do it, otherwise he was going to get a huge bill in the mail), we haven't spoken since the break up. I would be shocked to hear from him too, but if he didn't contact me, it would be pleasant, since it would be nice to know how he's doing. I'm calm about that breakup, it seems like ages ago. My most recent ex, I would somewhat be surprised to hear from, but I would LOVE it, if he did contact me
flitzanu Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Has anyone on here ever had a really bad breakup, but heard from the ex much, much later down the road once time has passed and things have calmed down? I ask this because I've had a few really bad breakups and a few amicable ones. Some reached out years and years down the road just to say hi. Others I never heard from again. One in fact, said he never, EVER wanted to speak to me again, yet 8 YEARS later, I got a message on FB just saying "wow, long time, how's life?". Nothing more than that. I'm just curious about those with really bad breakup experiences from a long time ago. Did you ever hear from that ex, even if it was just for a "hello, how are you?" Or has a lot of time passed and you've still not heard anything? i hear from just about all my exes except for one. and yes, years later i've made friends with them. even had one girl write me ten years later telling me it was never my fault and apologized for her behavior, and had she been more mature things would've been different.
Author J_L_C Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 i hear from just about all my exes except for one. and yes, years later i've made friends with them. even had one girl write me ten years later telling me it was never my fault and apologized for her behavior, and had she been more mature things would've been different. We're any of those breakup especially bad or nasty?
undergroundlife13 Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Dont worry about this, you should not want to hear from him ever again! He told you he didnt care if you would die, and jacked off while you cried. I was in an abusive relationship and I understand feeling like you need their love because they belittled you so badly. In fact my abuser is my daughters father, and 2 years later I dont even care the least. You deserve better than this, and need to stop obsessing. He is not worth it. You need to be strong, and move forward. WHO CARES WHAT HE THINKS? Hes scum, and doesnt deserve your thoughts of him. This is what he wants. Set yourself free and stop focusing on him.
Ordinaryday Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 why would you WANT to hear from them years down the road when you are over them? to hear about how happy they are and how they are married and have children with other people? Yeah no thanks. for them to ease their conscience by sending you breadcrumbs years after hurting you? don't want that either. for them to beg for another chance. too late by far. contact me a few months after the break up and I will consider it - but ten years later? no way, people change and chatting to them when you have not had contact with them in so many years, well it would be like talking to a stranger. what could they possibly say to you that you would want to hear, years down the line? oh, and for the record I know what most of my exes are up to these days - when I am truly over them (and not just in denial about being over them) I look at their facebook pages occasionally just to see what they are up to out of pure curiosity - I don't add them or send them a message or anything like that - I just look, and I think you can find your answers simply by doing that.
Zahara Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Every thread you create is not about general random curiosity as to how things transpire in life. It's a passive way of continuing your obsession about the ex. For ***k's sake, just post and ask if the ex will ever contact you again. Damn, if a man tells you he didn't care if you were dead isn't enough for you to quit this obsession and find value in yourself. What would it ever take for you let go? Obvioulsy a man insulting you, emotionally abusing you, mistreating you, cussing you out isn't enough. 3
KatZee Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 If my ex ever reached out to me years later, I'd print that bitch out and hang it on my fridge. Just so I could see it every morning when I went to grab the milk for my coffee. And just laugh. And laugh some more. 3
flitzanu Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 We're any of those breakup especially bad or nasty? all of my breakups are nasty . there was a lot of resentment on my part, but i'm a forgiving person. one day i woke up realizing i couldn't remember the last time i'd ever thought anout (her) them, and at that point i can be friends. now, those girls...their boyfriends often don't agree with them being friends with me...
Jono85 Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 honestly, i see this question a lot, but who really cares?? i won't deny that i've thought about it (will she ever reach out to me down the road?) but in the end it's always, who gives a sh*t?? you're strangers. she/he already let go and made the choice. so i don't see what a little small talk or catch-up will do for either party. it's like "heyyy, remember me? the person that didn't want you a part of my life anymore? how is everything?! how has your life, the one i wanted no part in, been?!?". pass. 3
mahon451 Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 OP, I understand your pain, I really do, and I'll admit I find myself podering the same scenario from time to time... but in the end, I always reach the same conclusion- "what if" does no one any good. Reality is, they're gone, they're not coming back, and that's all. I will say that for the most part, after the fire's died down, I usually end up becoming friends with my exes. I've never had a breakup that was so horrid that it wasn't possible. That having been said, if someone, ex or otherwise, told me they don't care if I live or die, that would probably be enough for me to write them off for good. Perhaps, when it doesn't sting so bad, you will be able to do that as well.
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