thefooloftheyear Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 So she left me in early Dec...Tons of breadcrumbs for months until I finally told her to eff off and leave me alone...Last I heard from her was in late Feb... Im done with it entirely..Total indifference...I wouldnt date her if she was the last woman left on the planet..Ive now seen her for all her faults and realize she did me a huge favor..Its done and over. Shes almost like a stranger to me now. I get a text today...." I hope you are doing well" So far I have just chosen to ignore it..It doesnt make me feel anything, frankly..I am just curious if I should respond? I figure 3 options here.. -Just ignore it and forget about it. -Tell her I am doing great. Wish her all the happiness in the world with her new BF and her life. -Come up with a snide and sarcastic reply(havent thought of it yet, but I saw a recent photo and she has put on a lot of weight since and I was going to say "WOW you look GREAT"). although tbh, I'ts not its my style to do this.. Im leaning towards ignoring it...Silence speaks louder than words in many cases.. Thoughts appreciated.. TFY 2
wmrjw82 Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Im done with it entirely..Total indifference...I wouldnt date her if she was the last woman left on the planet..Ive now seen her for all her faults and realize she did me a huge favor..Its done and over. Shes almost like a stranger to me now. Ignore it. Look what you just wrote. Move on and ignore it.
CorridorE Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 So she left me in early Dec...Tons of breadcrumbs for months until I finally told her to eff off and leave me alone...Last I heard from her was in late Feb... Im done with it entirely..Total indifference...I wouldnt date her if she was the last woman left on the planet..Ive now seen her for all her faults and realize she did me a huge favor..Its done and over. Shes almost like a stranger to me now. I get a text today...." I hope you are doing well" So far I have just chosen to ignore it..It doesnt make me feel anything, frankly..I am just curious if I should respond? TFY Go with your gut and just ignore it. If you're indifferent to her, it shouldn't be hard to just go about as if it never happened. Try to foget about it, and remeber that you said she did you a favor by leaving. Don't give her any oppertunities to re-enter your life in anyway by responding.
SimonSerenade Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 So fattys coming back to the farm?, I remember when my first girlfriend contacted me for the first time since the break up, it was great, those were the MySpace days, she said "hiya, how are you stranger?" I had no beef with her as she was respectful in the break up but back then I didn't see that so I replied "fine" lol she replied "that's good I'm happy for you" I replied "yep" then a few more days pass and she starts saying she misses me and still has a lot of love for me, i never replied, she always had the last word, I think she realised how it isn't always the best thing after that, she tried to contact me a few weeks after that and that time i gave her a reply saying I had love for her too but didnt want to hear it, that was that, it's up to you what you do, if you really don't care anymore you can do whatever you want to do
Author thefooloftheyear Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 You know what so weird?? Several people on this site say that dumpers often "come back around" when you are at indifference. Not only am I at indifference, but just recently I have been getting closer with an absolutely awesome woman that blows this ex out of the water in EVERY respect...And now I get a crumb? Look, it is probably much ado about nothing... You know what the GREATEST thing about this is? I actually do not care about it..Not one iota.. Whereas when I was in the "dark" times, my heart would race and I would get all upset over a crumb..Now its almost like a piece of junkmail.. One thing is that I dont want to sound like a bitter person..Frankly I AM happy for her(if she is happy).. I could even go to their wedding tomorrow if they invited me and it wouldnt phase me at all...I am just not one to harbor resentment..Not worth my time..I know that we wouldnt have worked out, whether she ended it or I did.. TFY 1
SimonSerenade Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Aw man, I'm so happy for you I'm glad your moving on and she doesn't bother you anymore, my recent ex took me away from the bitch ex I was on here for in the first place, blew her completely out of the water and now I'm Los again, can't wait till I get to indifference again, it's a wonderful place, I remember the last time I was indifferent, my ex I was with before this one kept trying to reach out after a long time, I just didn't care lol
simplyamazing Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 I would ignore it. Why say you're fine and give her the satisfaction knowing that you're good? Let her wonder. I also wouldn't respond with a spiteful, mean message. Even though that does sound quite awesome to do, I wouldn't. But it seems like you already figured out that you're gonna ignore it, so awesome. 2
mtnbiker3000 Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Choice #1. Really can't believe you would even consider #2 and #3. Let sleeping dogs lie!!
Author thefooloftheyear Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 Choice #1. Really can't believe you would even consider #2 and #3. Let sleeping dogs lie!! Hate to say it but there is a little bit of me that wants to goof on her big weight gain.....Especially because I used this time to kick ass in the gym and I am as jacked as ever.. But I dont know..Maybe she is going through some shyt and I dont want to be the one that agitates that. I have no anger at this point...I really do wish her well... TFY
flitzanu Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 any particular reason that you have saved her number and contact info for so long?
mtnbiker3000 Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Take the high road. Why try to hurt her on purpose? No bueno!!
Author thefooloftheyear Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 any particular reason that you have saved her number and contact info for so long? I deleted her from my phone contacts...Im not changing my phone mumber,,Ive had this cell number for 20 years..I can block her, but It doesnt matter anyway..She can contact me through my business and I cant stop that.. Thats been the usual way she has contacted me because she knows I cant tell whos calling.. It doesnt matter anyway...Im over it...she can call to her hearts content..Itd be like a telemarketer at this point TFY
Author thefooloftheyear Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 Take the high road. Why try to hurt her on purpose? No bueno!! Like I said...No way I would actually do it..not my style..Im glad she is happy, and if she isnt, well, dont blame me... TFY 1
frostythesnowman Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 I think you should definitely ignore it. Sounds like you are doing really well and there is no reason to even chance the smallest possibility that something would phase your happiness right now. Keep it up with that other girl 1
lop98 Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 I got a similar one the other day, technical glitch and I just didn't bother to changed my settings back to how they were and that's how the breadcrumb filtered in. When I got it I actually had the same 3 options in mind. Ignore it, reply and play cool, or reply and be nasty. I ignored it, it's been days, it felt kind of good at first, now it's better: nothing. The more days pass, the more he looks like a total waste of time.
cavalier99 Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 When i was at the point you are now i broke NC . It actually helped me realize how over it i was. if you do break NC the benefit will be you can stop counting how long youve been NC. It will TOTALLY knock her off the pedestal and even NC. You can get and ego boost and show her how you just dont give a.crap and you will fufill some curiosity. Seemed to work for me but it is a risk . Up to you bro. congrats on getting over it!!! Rock on! Cav 1
Author thefooloftheyear Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 When i was at the point you are now i broke NC . It actually helped me realize how over it i was. if you do break NC the benefit will be you can stop counting how long youve been NC. It will TOTALLY knock her off the pedestal and even NC. You can get and ego boost and show her how you just dont give a.crap and you will fufill some curiosity. Seemed to work for me but it is a risk . Up to you bro. congrats on getting over it!!! Rock on! Cav I could talk to her now without any feeling....I gotta say I am totally at peace with it...And even though she dropped me on my head, so to speak, I dont have any angry feelings anymore..She was just a woman that was a part of my life for a while..Frankly I think more about her developmentally disabled child than her...I pray for that poor kid any chance I get.. What REALLY helped me here(and struggling dumpees-pay attention to this), is that I got a chance to see it for what it was. I can now honestly say if she didnt do it, I would have. We generally got along great and were both attracted to one another, I could never give her what she wanted...Quite frankly I dont know ANY man who could. She was so needy and clingy that she was sucking the life out of me.. I surely dont miss her blowing up my phone because I didnt answer her text in less than 2 minutes..I cant give anyone that type of attention...Its effing exhausting! Its just sooo weird and eerie that the minute I am getting a little bit serious with this other woman, she pops up put of the blue..Its almost as if she knew about it....Many people had said this would happen..They were right... Stay strong everyone..I just wish I can give you all a bit of what I am feeling so you all can be liberated.. TFY 1
bluecrabroll Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Congrats on some personal vindication. I'd say ignore even without bitterness. 1
Leigh 87 Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Ignore it. If you don't think highly enough of her as a person, and WANT to either: be friends, or reconcile, there is no use responding. Personally, from my perspective: I happened to really like my ex as a person. We both love being around each other. I would want to answer his call after years apart, because I really enjoy (enjoyed - past tense!) being around the dude. She either wants to: - be friends - get back together because she genuinely loved you and wants another chance - is single, bored and wants to see if you can interest her again. - heck, she could even want to be friends with benefits (if she has those values) Fooloftheyear - you do not sound like you have any reason to answer her. Plus, you're dating the new girl now. I WOULD NOT answer my exes texts if I was with a new guy, because, while I would be happy with the new guy and not want my ex back: it would not be appropriate to communicate with a guy who I had once had sex with (crazy sex with, at that!) once I was committed to the next guy.... Don't bother with her. She could have just wanted to see how you were going, and then she could have just stopped texting anyways. OR, it could be a full blown attempt at getting you back. It makes more sense to avoid any possible heartbreak for HER, since you clearly do not want her back.
Author thefooloftheyear Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 Ignore it. If you don't think highly enough of her as a person, and WANT to either: be friends, or reconcile, there is no use responding. Personally, from my perspective: I happened to really like my ex as a person. We both love being around each other. I would want to answer his call after years apart, because I really enjoy (enjoyed - past tense!) being around the dude. She either wants to: - be friends - get back together because she genuinely loved you and wants another chance - is single, bored and wants to see if you can interest her again. - heck, she could even want to be friends with benefits (if she has those values) Fooloftheyear - you do not sound like you have any reason to answer her. Plus, you're dating the new girl now. I WOULD NOT answer my exes texts if I was with a new guy, because, while I would be happy with the new guy and not want my ex back: it would not be appropriate to communicate with a guy who I had once had sex with (crazy sex with, at that!) once I was committed to the next guy.... Don't bother with her. She could have just wanted to see how you were going, and then she could have just stopped texting anyways. OR, it could be a full blown attempt at getting you back. It makes more sense to avoid any possible heartbreak for HER, since you clearly do not want her back. See bolded... If you knew all the details, you would probably encourage me to stomp her "heart" into the ground for the way this was all handled...I wont do it, but a part of me does hope she is secretly regretting the whole thing... Having seen a pic of her and the guy she is with now, she looks like she won the booby prize... Its fine..Like I said she is just someone in my past right now. I have learned so much from this experience...I realized that I am the absolute worst partner for someone with emotional problems and has issues with insecurity and neediness/clingyness...Frankly, I dont care what they look like I will be absolutely gone off the map the minute I sense ANY slight potential of mental instability...Its not my game...Let someone else deal with that shyt. Im going to ignore from now...Should be fun seeing where this goes.. TFY
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