juliebijoux Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 I realized today that I'm 30 and have never been spontaneously asked out on a date by a guy. I've gone on dates through online dating, but I'm not counting that because both parties go into that looking to date. I've had relationships, but they have stemmed from online dating or from friends setting us up. In college my friends told this guy that he should make me a mix tape with my favorite songs on it and it turned into an 8 month relationship. Now two weekends ago, I met a guy at a bar through mutual friends and he asked for my number and we've been texting almost everyday since. Just friendly stuff and he always initiates the texting. I would be interested in dating this guy and I get the feeling he is interested, but there is no attempt to further the conversation. Are there signals I should send to let him know I'm interested in meeting up? I don't want to rush things, but I just came to the conclusion today that I've never been in this specific situation before. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 Most people meet their SO's at work, school or through social circles. Men typically don't go around hitting on random women so don't feel too bad. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
charlietheginger Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 You two met in a bar .... Guys who meet women in bars get numbers every weekend Once you spread ur legs he will hit it a few times and vanish. Men goto bars looking for sex.... Nothing serious rarely comes from guys who troll bars all the time... At best you might become fook buddies Or drinking buddies.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author juliebijoux Posted June 13, 2013 Author Share Posted June 13, 2013 I agree that men go trolling at a bar, but it was at a mutual friend's birthday. So I thought it was different? He told me that he doesn't really like to go to bars in that area anymore because they're a lot of "douches" Link to post Share on other sites
Author juliebijoux Posted June 13, 2013 Author Share Posted June 13, 2013 Most people meet their SO's at work, school or through social circles. Men typically don't go around hitting on random women so don't feel too bad. Thanks When I was reading up on this, a lot of things were about random people meeting at bars and I realized I had no experience with that. I think it could be fun, I've just never done that. And this situation isn't even really a random guy because I know him through mutual friends and it turns out we grew up in the same suburb. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 Are there signals I should send to let him know I'm interested in meeting up? I don't want to rush things, but I just came to the conclusion today that I've never been in this specific situation before. Heres a signal to send him. "Ask him "he do you wanna get something to eat?" If he hasnt asked you out yet, its because youre probably bieng too aloof and not flirting enough. Your signals are too subtle for a man to read, as men are already not good at reading signals, STOP WITH THE SIGNALS!!! Just ask the guy out, hes not going to reject you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author juliebijoux Posted June 13, 2013 Author Share Posted June 13, 2013 Heres a signal to send him. "Ask him "he do you wanna get something to eat?" If he hasnt asked you out yet, its because youre probably bieng too aloof and not flirting enough. Your signals are too subtle for a man to read, as men are already not good at reading signals, STOP WITH THE SIGNALS!!! Just ask the guy out, hes not going to reject you. See, I was contemplating this, just be straight up about going out. But then I feel like the undertone is that men like to chase and that men should always be the ones asking the woman out, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author juliebijoux Posted June 13, 2013 Author Share Posted June 13, 2013 im 30 and have never been on a date. you're title is misleading. thought id found my female equivlent Sorry to mislead, that's why I added the "truly asked out" part Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 You two met in a bar .... Guys who meet women in bars get numbers every weekend Once you spread ur legs he will hit it a few times and vanish. Men goto bars looking for sex.... Nothing serious rarely comes from guys who troll bars all the time... At best you might become fook buddies Or drinking buddies.... This is just ****ing stupid. All sorts of people go to bars. For all sorts of reasons. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
charlietheginger Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 This is just ****ing stupid. All sorts of people go to bars. For all sorts of reasons. Alcohol relationships don't mix. i've never met any couple that met in a bar that lasted Unless it was a sports bar, karaoke or something at the Bar that was the reason being at the bar.... But as far as a smokey bar with nothing going on But men and women sitting at a bar getting drunk Then fooking those relationships dont last... Being it was a birthday party ill give the benefit to the Guy that he may not be a happy hour troll that gets off Work shoots the **** at bar from 5 till 9 looking for Some chick to fook... He might be a decent guy Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 This is just ****ing stupid. All sorts of people go to bars. For all sorts of reasons. exactly. i go to bars all the time, a lot of the time with a group of friends, or one friend. it doesn't mean i am "trolling" the bar looking for a hook-up. Same goes for men. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 See, I was contemplating this, just be straight up about going out. But then I feel like the undertone is that men like to chase and that men should always be the ones asking the woman out, etc. Yeah but your beating around the bush. You have to find out if he is into you or not, and you wont find that out until you meet in person. Maybe he's shy, and like I said, youre probably acting too aloof and hes too scared to ask YOU out. So ask him out for the first time, and maybe he will take the reigns later. You can takea chance waiting for your "rule" to pan out, but you might be waiting forever if he has choices. This rule doesnt apply to shy guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Author juliebijoux Posted June 14, 2013 Author Share Posted June 14, 2013 That's a fairy tale made up by women to cover up their chronic fear of rejection. Yeah I wouldn't have put it so bluntly, but I was thinking about this today. If I make the decision to ask him out then I have to be ok with the fact that he could say no, he's not interested. However I see from a facebook event thing that we are both planning on attending another birthday party Friday night and maybe Saturday (I know a lot of people with June birthdays). I was thinking that if he texts me tomorrow I will ask him if he is still planning on going and that I will see him there. I don't think it's odd or out of blue to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
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