Intentions and Status of Relationship

[CutiePatootie]

When I first met this man, I came home to a party at my house and he observed me from afar and later approached me and was instantly protective and interested in me as a person. Later that night, we began to drown in conversation which lasted hours. After a while, I felt as though I had known him before. After a while, we began to kiss and one thing led to another and we slept together for hours (yes like 5 hours).

 

He asked for my number and began to take me out on dates. About a month or two later my friend began to question his intentions and asked him where our relationship was going and whatnot. I overheard the conversation and he admitted he was not perusing a relationship but he said, "it was too soon to advance the relationship". He also told me in person about needing to know people and that he is not sure if he ever wants a long term relationship.

 

We continued to date for 4 months or so and he continually would discuss he aspirations and expectations for the future and would ask mine as well but I thought nothing of it. I had met all of his friends and his brother. I began to date another man during this time frame because I thought man 1 was not invested or interested. I ended up dating man 2 exclusively for about 7 months. Once during these 7 months man 1 happened to be at a mutual friend's party and we talked for hours and he tried to kiss me.

 

I was really overwhelmed and confused because I had always loved man 1 more. A few months after my break up with man 2, man 1's friends began heavily talking to me and inviting me out. One day, his brother came to a party and focused his attention on me and told me that his brother (man 1) was not the same ever since I left. I was really confused. His brother then began making regular contact and i reciprocated . All of the sudden, man 1 started attending all of these parties and at the beginning it was obvious he was uncomfortable (going to the bathroom often and looking at me but not saying anything to me).

 

Another time at a bar (when our mutual friends asked me to come out) man 1 started an argument with me about marriage! He continually pried at wanting to know why women could only be dependent and independent and how he does not want a dependent woman but independent women have no right getting married because they don't need it. I asked him what he thought of me and he said I was independent (and then bought me a drink). Our encounters have become frequent to the point where we are "bumping" into each other 2-4 times a week and we have gone on 3 solo dates (all over the span on 1.5 months).

 

We have had sex three times and he has made a point to build our friendship and not always be sexual in nature toward each other. He tries to share every piece of food he eats with me, buys my drinks, and even gets me water and walks me to my car every night and asks for a phone call when I am home. All of our friends keep asking oh are you two together (some say again which is confusing to me) and both of us look at each other and never answer.

 

I want to know if I should continue the relationship because it seems as though he cares about me (we intimately talk on a regular basis) or if this is a casual relationship and we are friends with benefits. Help.

 

- Cutie

Edited June 13, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[CutiePatootie]

We are in our early/mid twenties. We are both about to finish up college (I apologize for my sloppy grammar and whatnot).

[FitChick]

You don't have to explain your relationship to anyone. If you are comfortable seeing him, continue. If not, don't.