Janesays Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 I have to admit. This sounds awesome. No judgments if that it what you want out of life. We all have the right to follow what makes us happy. I had a friend that used to be that way. We've been friends since grade school and he's always been a straight up player. Slept with hundreds of girls in college. This is no BS, either, I can't count how many times I'd see him one night with a girl all over him....just to see him the next night with a totally different girl just as all over him. Hundreds of one night stands. All with attractive, yet damaged, girls. But the time we reached our 30's, he was so darn lonesome that he became seriously suicidal. That parade of girls and throwing a constant stream of 'game' at them non stop for a decade made it difficult for him to ACTUALLY CONNECT to anyone in any meaningful way. No one envied him. As we all paired up and found love, all anyone ever felt for him was pity. It took a few years of therapy before he climbed out of the very hole he dug for himself. YMMV, though.
Cutiepie1976 Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 ...i.e. we won't have been in touch for about 8-9 days since I asked her out last). I just feel so stupid right now for asking her out so quickly ... I hope I can salvage this situation First, the negative mental chatter you have running through your mind has got to stop. It's getting in your way. Find some way to limit it or at least the impact it's having on your choice of actions. It's leading to self-sabotage. Nothing wrong with asking spur of the moment (on occasion) if someone would like to do something. It was a sweet gesture, and she might have been free. You never know. But understand that most of the time, people make plans, particularly for their weekends. The less notice, the higher the likelihood the person might have a conflict. It's nothing personal. It's not reflective of the person's interest level. People have lives, just as you do. She gave you the entire subsequent weekend to pick a day and time for your next date...and you still haven't done so! She's trying to be flexible here since she couldn't make your date suggestion on such short notice. If I understand your statement from the OP correctly, you've now gone AWOL for 8 or 9 days, and still haven't put a firm date on the books. Many women will interpret that length of silence without any communication as loss of interest, particularly when you've disappeared instead of finalizing the date...after she's agreed and given you a large time window from which to make your final selection. Once you appear to lose interest, she unfortunately will too. In these types of situations, I simply focused on someone else who seemed to know what he wanted--that being a date with me. Right now, there is no date. There is no communication. You've dropped off the face of the earth for a week plus. What should she think? What would you think if you were in her shoes faced with silence after you suggested a time window for a date. Put the date on the calendar even if it's a few weeks out. This should have happened when she said, how about next weekend? That way she knows you're still interested, and by saying yes, she can convey she's still interested. You also can both plan the rest of your respective weekends with the other things in your lives. Most people appreciate someone who is consistent, is transparent, and plans. None of those are true with you right now. Disappearing, not communicating, and (not that you've done this so far) a pattern of last minute dates will seriously limit your options and results on the dating front. 1
Recommended Posts