lostone8 Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 Okay, I suppose I should start at the beginning. I've been with my current for almost 3 years. He is very possessive and doesn't like me even talking to any of my ex's and/or guy friends. He is the first guy that I have ever been with, who has been this jealous or protective. Well we have been having problems in the bedroom for a while now. Its me, some how I just stopped working one day. I've been to doctors and no one can explain it other than maybe stress or something. Honestly my ex has always been in the back of my mind. I catch myself thinking about him and how much different it would be if I were with him. So I started thinking that maybe if I apologized for how it ended, it would solve my problem. Didn't work.. I started thinking seeing him would change my mind, since we hadn't seen each other since before we broke up. I kept myself from messaging him and tried to keep myself from thinking of him. He has messaged me a few times, he wanted to meet up, I put him off, but then it bothered me that I didn't take the chance at what I really wanted to do. See if seeing him would change anything. Well he messaged me this morning and wanted to meet up and talk. I convinced myself it was the right thing to do, since I've been wanting to do it for a while. We met up, talked, and everything went fine. Now I'm not sure what to do, my current flips out at even the mention of my ex's name. I feel guilty for going with out telling him. Although it would have resulted in a fight, and he probably would have taken my car away, so I couldn't go. I really want to tell him when he gets home, but I am now afraid of what will happen. Would you tell him or not? Am I still in love with my ex? Am I ever going to get completely over him? Also another little bit of info is my current has only been with one other person. So to me he doesn't really understand everything. Thank you to anyone who replies! I will be waiting!
ddlovexx Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Don't tell him. I think you need some time to figure out what YOU want... not what everyone else wants. I think it'd be a good idea to take a break from your relationship and figure out what makes you happiest. I mean think about it, do you honestly think you'd be happy in this relationship/situation for the rest of your life? From what I've read, I don't think so. 1
ddlovexx Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 It could also be "grass is greener" syndrome. It's called a breakup because it's broken... think about why you and ex didn't work out in the first place. Your guy should make you feel like a million bucks. The one you're with now has insecurities that bring you down and limit you. The ex might have changed and might be great... but in reality people never change and I've learned that the hard way. Take some time for yourself and you might realize you don't want either of these guys. 1
spiderowl Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 Your message describes a situation where you are thinking mainly about your ex and your present boyfriend is jealous and possessive. He must sense that you are thinking about your ex and no wonder mentioning your ex upsets him. You even entitle your post 'Stuck in the past'. I feel there is something unresolved with your ex though I can't tell what. You sound torn in two directions with the ex pulling stronger. It's hard to tell whether this is because you still love your ex or whether your present partner's jealous and possessive behaviour is making you wonder if your ex was better. If you are honest with yourself, who would you rather be with?
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