Coolit Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 I confessed my A to my H. And now he has completely left me with the decision to tell the other BS. I was hopin he'd make the decision but he says he sees pros and cons to it. For one, he wants to keep it private and telling her could make it explode. Small town sort of way. My problem is I have always felt it was MM's marriage and his job to come clean. I mean if my H would have said to tell her That woild have trumped it. But with the decision left to me. I also don't want to be spiteful. I don't want to be the messenger. And his wife had alwas told me if I had sex with her H she wouldn't tell my H. So I wonder if that is code for "I dont want to know" As all As go it is very complicated. I know almost all of you will all say out the lying SOB. That she has a right to know. I am kust very back and forth because of what she has said in the past, my own feat of exposure and the fact that My BS is unsure what he wants as well. Perhaps he just needs more time to choose and I should wait on himI?
justwondering77 Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 "And his wife had alwas told me if I had sex with her H she wouldn't tell my H. So I wonder if that is code for "I dont want to know" To me if his wife said something like that it means he has cheated before. Are you and his wife friends? Why would she make a comment like that to you? Seems weird to me.
Realist3 Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 I confessed my A to my H. I would suggest you to allow your MOW to make that decision for himself, just like you did. 1
HokeyReligions Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 The whole thing seems very nonchalant to me. What do YOU want to do?
Bryanp Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 What was your husband's reaction to your confession? How are you going to make it up to him? Have you and your husband been checked for STD's?
Artie Lang Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 although i get that your husband wants to keep this quiet to save face, i'm at a loss as to why he would keep this from OBS. you don't have to tell everyone..... just OBS, as she deserves to know. if he has left it up to you, i would suggest an anonymous letter informing her of her husbands infidelity. give her some facts and leave it at that. at least you can say you tried.
Spark1111 Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 although i get that your husband wants to keep this quiet to save face, i'm at a loss as to why he would keep this from OBS. you don't have to tell everyone..... just OBS, as she deserves to know. if he has left it up to you, i would suggest an anonymous letter informing her of her husbands infidelity. give her some facts and leave it at that. at least you can say you tried. And supply some proof, ok? Something substantial and a sincere apology, the assertion that it is over and you are committed to working on your marriage and will never intrude on their marriage again. tell her your H is fully aware that you have written this letter to her. Ball in her court. You did the right thing......and maybe NOTHING will blow up. You can't predict these things, but I do not believe anyone regrets taking the high road at the end of their days. Do it with your H's support of course. 2
Author Coolit Posted June 14, 2013 Author Posted June 14, 2013 I told the BS. I did my part but she can't/won't accept it is true. She accused me of lying to try to get back at her H because he wouldn't have an affair with me. Unfortunatly i have no evidence. But at least I know I confessed. If she ever comes to her senses I will answer all and Any questions she has. Has honestly as I can from my POV. H is glad it is dealt with. He wants us to move ahead and he said now tht she has been told he feels it was the right decision. 2
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