KansasChica Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 So, the guy I was dating broke it off with me 2 weeks ago... i was pretty blind-sided, because I thought he liked me enough to work on things, but he said he needed to end it. I was really crushed. We'd only been dating for about 4 months, but totally felt that it was going somewhere. I had been kind of anxious the last month we were together- I just hadn't felt that he was making me much of a priority and he wasn't being very affectionate at all. So, I think I was starting to resent him and out of frustration I told him that even my ex was more affectionate than he was. He knows that I'm happily not with my ex anymore, but I realize now that I shouldn't have said that. I just wanted him to tell me how he felt or show me that he really liked me. He told his friends, but never me. He didn't like to hold my hand; he didn't even like to kiss in public. I'm not all about PDA, but a little peck every now and then would have been nice. Now that it's over, I just found it hard not blaming myself. I really liked him and we always laughed together. I felt a connection with him that I haven't felt in a long time and I'm sad that he just walked away. I guess for good reason- who wants to be compared to someone's ex? I haven't tried to reach out to him since he ended it, but I just feel like we could have done so much better. Sorry for the ramble. :/
forgetmenot75 Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 Hi, I feel your pain, and I see why you're trying to understand why this has happened. I don't think for a minute it was the comparison you made what it made him leave. Read what you've written. you compared him with your ex because you were feeling frustrated and you wanted some kind of response from him. The comparison wasn't the motive. He was far away from you much earlier. Don't blame yourself. this things happen, unfortunately. and think that, if he truly loved you and wanted to be with you, that silly comparison would have meant nothing for him. Nothing at all. 1
starlet86 Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 my ex picked a house over me and our future, he started treating me like I was insignificant because he was stressed over buying a house. I asked him to give up on the house and we would buy somewhere together. In the end he gave me up, decided to give up on the house purchase and buy somewhere else on his on. He then came to me when he was short on the deposit for the new house. It made me realise I didn't lose him because of the house. I lost him because he didn't want me. He didn't want to be with me and he used the house as an excuse. Stop blaming yourself for something you couldn't prevent from happening. He was already leaving, he just needed a scapegoat. Whether or not you had made that comparison, he was already half way out of the relationship.
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