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people taking advantage of kindness.


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Posted

It started out, me doing them a favour, they'd be very grateful and appreciative, small things, such as giving them a ride or something..

 

it's got to the point where they expect it from me and if I don't, they get mad at me..

 

It just feels like the reasons me and my friends aren't talking at the moment are because i'm not doing what they want me to do.

 

I work 9-6 mon - fri and I do a night course for three hours on a Monday night and a Thursday night. my friends work in bars. from 10pm until 4am. generally around the weekend.

 

If I don't go out when they all go out, and do whatever they want to do that night, they get annoyed at me.

 

the other night, they invited me out, asked me to take alcohol over.. but I couldn't stay the night because there wasn't enough room... ( so I buy the alcohol, drive everybody to his place, they all drink and then I drive them home? )

 

I said i'd go if I could take a girl with me because she said I could stay at her place which is within walking distance of his house anyway.. and my other friend who was going was taking a girl none of us had met, so I figured it'd be no big deal. but they started calling me rude for trying to invite somebody else.

 

In the end I didn't go and now none of them are talking to me and they all think i'm a d*ck.

 

what could I have done ? what should I have done? what should I do ?

Posted
In the end I didn't go and now none of them are talking to me and they all think i'm a d*ck.

 

In time you'll see this as a gift.

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Posted

thanks, you're probably right there. it's just sad that they're all hanging out and i'm on my own.. but then at least i'm not getting used or treated like dirt. I didn't feel like there was any respect there.

Posted

That group of people don't sound like good friends to me. They sound like trouble to me. Time for you to find a new group of friends.

  • Like 1
Posted

...and we teach people how to treat us.

 

if they were treating you like this, it's because unwittingly, you gave them permission to do so....

 

Now - you're 'rebelling'

Now, they're objecting.

 

Simple.

 

Flaky.

Drop 'em and move on.

 

Easier said than done, I get it.

 

But it's your option, now to do what you know is right for you.

  • Like 4
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Author
Posted

well I bumped into them last night, one of them said 'we need to f*cking talk' started walking outside with me, and I was like ' what do we need to talk about ?' and he was like ' if you don't know what we need to talk about then we don't need to talk at all' and pushed me and walked away..

 

Later in the bathroom of this club he came in and started telling the other guy that he'd punched me and everything.. because he didn't realize I was stood right behind him.. so I offered to go outside and talk about it, to find out what was going on.. but he just kept screaming, he was about 2 inches from my face shouting.. just asking how dare I treat him like dirt or talk to him like I did ( all I did was tell him I was sick of getting used for free rides and beers) he then headbutted me, but it didn't really connect very hard, I didn't get any bruising, it didn't hurt at all. All my friends rushed in at this point and threw him away from the club. He went home, I sat with the other guy who I was always better friends with and he told me they just missed me and were upset that i'd just abandoned them, and then got upset that I couldn't be bothered with them all anymore..

 

But honestly, I do a night course, I have exams, I have a 9-5 mon- fri job, I take care of my poorly grandmother and I have other friends too.

 

one of them works at the bar I go to, on a weekend, and the other doesn't have a job.. just collects welfare and goes out drinking on it.

 

so one has all the time in the world.. and the other has all the time in the world, except for the weekends.

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