starlet86 Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 Finallly after so much to'in and fro'in with my ex, (I kept breaking NC when he contacted me) I bit the bullet and told him exactly what I needed him to do to help me get over him. It was emotional, don't get me wrong, but I explained that I do still have feelings for him and I needed him to stop contacting me so I could move on and get over him and since he was allowed to do that I should be to (he dropped the bomb shell that he wasn't over me at this point) anyway, he refused at first, told me I'd have to get better at ignoring him because he wasn't going to stop speaking to me. I admitted defeat and came to the conclusion that the only way I was going to ever get out was to let him get bored of being my "friend" (I don't need another friend). Then today it happened. I didn't receive my usual good morning text, I didn't get a text asking me anything, when he was around me he didn't look at me or try to speak to me. Don't get me wrong, it was killing me inside, but it also made me realise that he doesn't want me to have feelings for him, he wants to let me go and that made me feel something kind of like respect for him. He listened to me (finally) and he's doing something for me, to help me (finally). I don't doubt I will always feel something for him, he was the father of my child, I loved him and planned my whole life with him, but it is nice to know that I am finally able to just move on. I feel more in control now and if I break NC then it's my own undoing, because he's not contacted me!
Aleasha Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 just read your story, i know how your feeling, as i have broke up with my partner of 6yrs we are currently working on things. i would definatly keep up the no contact use this time to find yourself and work on you do things to take your mind off him go out with friends and grow as a person and when he see that you are not pinning over him i reckon he will come back sniffing they always do trust me just be confident and strong and show him even tho you may not feel like you are but show him that you are over him also if there is a child you will need to make suitable arrangements for him to have his child get a family member to help so that you dont have to physically see him as having a child will make it harder but do whats best for the child hope this helps let us know how you get on take care xx
Author starlet86 Posted June 12, 2013 Author Posted June 12, 2013 Thank you for your reply. There isn't a child though, very long story which makes me question why I bother with him every single day. Truth is, I love this man. I love him so much I always choose his happiness over my own. I miss him dreadfully and I have to see him every single day in work. I need to focus on me though, if I don't I will go back to a place I fought a very tough battle to get away from. As much as I'd like to think maybe one day there could be an us, I don't think it will ever happen. I am just a pawn to him. I am only good when he needs something or another foot hold on his own personal journey to the top. Finally though he's letting me go and I thank him for that. I just wish he could have done it when I was angry and bitter towards him because then I wouldn't have remembered that underneath everything he was being, the man I loved was still there.
Aleasha Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 I know it's hard when you love some one but you have to love yourself first just be strong be civil as you have to work together hopefully soon he will realise that your not interested and get the hint there will be some one that's out there for you when you work on yourself you will start attracting the right people just be strong I know you will be all Women are strong xx
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