WWDDFD Posted October 11, 2004 Posted October 11, 2004 So today I got the same ****ing line that I always get from women I'm dating. "seriously, you are a really great guy, and if I was in a different position in my life right now or if I felt I could give you any sort of comittment there's no way I would let you pass me by... but such is life... full of bad timing :-/" Why must you all lie to me? Do you think I actually believe that ****? If I was this "great guy" that everyone keeps telling me I am, then maybe I'd be in an actual relationship with someone once in my life, no? No. Instead I'm 24, never been in a relationship, never so much as kissed a woman in my life, and I've been told by everyone I've ever dated... "you're such a great guy... but..." GOD DAMNIT STOP TRYING TO SPARE MY EMOTIONS IT DOESN'T WORK.
rogueless Posted October 11, 2004 Posted October 11, 2004 Not all women are liars, just like not all men are. I wonder why you have had so many bad experiences. To have never kissed a woman by age 24 is unusual. Are you shy? Do you have a male or female friend that you can ask what the problem might be? Maybe you are doing something offensive and don't even know it? Provided you have good hygiene and decent table manners, I don't get it. When you have a conversation with a date are you as pessimistic as you were in this post? That's a definite turn off. Its a drain to listen to alot of negativity. I realize you may be a positive person but were up set when you posted this. Perhaps you are in an area with a small selection of women to pick from? I do hope your luck improves.
Author WWDDFD Posted October 11, 2004 Author Posted October 11, 2004 To say that I'm shy is pretty much an understatement. I was extremely upset when I posted this so yeah, I came off as negatively. I generally don't like telling people the details of my life, but I guess since no one here knows who I am it's safe to say; my parents brainwashed me when I was young, literally torturing me and my brother while making us believe "The rules of life", such as "never speak to anyone unless first spoken to". When you've written it out 100,000 times on paper, it kind of gets ingrained into your memory. I am pretty much incapable of initiating conversation with anyone, and I can barely speak to someone in a coherent manner unless I've known them for a very long time (at least a year, sometimes a lot longer). I am deathly afraid of alcohol; I've never had a sip of it in my entire life; I've seen what it does to my dad and I just don't want any part of that; unfortunately no one understands this without me giving them my whole life story, which of course I'm unable to convey. So naturally everyone thinks I'm a freak "what kind of freak doesn't drink alcohol?!". bleh.
GlamourGal Posted October 11, 2004 Posted October 11, 2004 hmm...I dont really know you (actually all I know from you is what you've posted here ) but maybe you lack some confidence. You just need to hold your head high and go out and have a great time! You dont need to drink alcohol to have fun...you can still go to the clubs or to the bars with out drinking!! Some nights when I dont want to drink; I order I diet coke with a lime and then it appears as if I'm drinking (I suppose I do it to also avoid all those ' why arent you drinking' questions) but anyway you dont need to drink to have a fun time. Just be yourself; be positive and confident and I'm sure everything else will fall into place!
Papillon Posted October 11, 2004 Posted October 11, 2004 I'm interested to know what WWWDDFD stands for.... Lemme wager a guess: What Would Drunk Dames Frequently Do?
Author WWDDFD Posted October 11, 2004 Author Posted October 11, 2004 Originally posted by GlamourGal hmm...I dont really know you (actually all I know from you is what you've posted here ) but maybe you lack some confidence. You just need to hold your head high and go out and have a great time! You dont need to drink alcohol to have fun...you can still go to the clubs or to the bars with out drinking!! Some nights when I dont want to drink; I order I diet coke with a lime and then it appears as if I'm drinking (I suppose I do it to also avoid all those ' why arent you drinking' questions) but anyway you dont need to drink to have a fun time. Just be yourself; be positive and confident and I'm sure everything else will fall into place! I keep trying; god believe me I do. But every single time it gets even worse and makes me feel even worse; because every single time, I get told I'm such a "great guy", f*ck, even one time a girl told me "I totally don't deserve you, you seriously don't want to know me" and just disappeared on me. But if this were true, then why the hell doesn't anyone ever want to be with me? I don't even ask people out anymore because I'm paranoid that they're going to say yes and then disappear.
Naive Posted October 11, 2004 Posted October 11, 2004 Originally posted by Papillon I'm interested to know what WWWDDFD stands for.... Lemme wager a guess: What Would Drunk Dames Frequently Do? I want to know too! Papillon you are missing a W What Were We Doing......... OH I GIVE UP!
Author WWDDFD Posted October 11, 2004 Author Posted October 11, 2004 Originally posted by naive_2001 I want to know too! Papillon you are missing a W What Were We Doing......... OH I GIVE UP! What Would Drop Dead Fred Do?
Naive Posted October 11, 2004 Posted October 11, 2004 LOL Oh my God are you serious? I would have never guess that! By the way, I love that movie
rogueless Posted October 11, 2004 Posted October 11, 2004 You stated that you have a hard time with conversations. That with your shyness is most likely the problem. When you go on a date, do you mainly respond to the woman or do you start conversation too? If you seldom initiate during the date, it will be awkward for your date. She may even see this as lack of interest on your part. You need to practice conversation. Try to just be yourself. Maybe think of a few topics you are knowledgeable about beforehand. Good luck...
whichwayisup Posted October 11, 2004 Posted October 11, 2004 Why do women lie? Why can't you just tell me the freaking truth?! Not all us women are like that. Obviously you're pretty p*ssed off right now but try not to generalize eh? I could say how come ALL MEN ARE PIGS and they don't communicate, listen or really care and are lazy!! But I do know that some men are like that, some that are not. Sounds like you should consider talking to someone about this. You might be putting pressure on yourself, trying too hard and some women are picking up on that. It IS wonderful to hear that you are a nice, open and honest guy but maybe there is something else you doing, too in their face about it?? I don't know, I'm just throwing stuff out here, but try not to put so much pressure on things, relax and have fun. Whatever is gonna happen will happen. Seems like maybe you're attracting the wrong kind of women? Take it easy.
bluetuesday Posted October 11, 2004 Posted October 11, 2004 AHH! i was working along the lines of donnie darko but no matter. hello. i'm bluetuesday and it doesn't stand for anything. it's just what comes after bluemonday. boy, i am really feeling this one because it seems like you've been through a really rough time. i'm sorry for that. you didn't deserve it, any of it. we all need to be valued and appreciated, to be understood and made to feel special and sadly, there are lots of people out there who don't have the first idea or inclination of how to spread that kind of love around. now it's possible that the girls you've been out with are not lying, at least not intentionally. maybe they do think you're a lovely guy. but there's a difference between being lovely and being the sort of person a wide range of girls would want to date. there is no such a thing as being so nice as to take yourself out of the dating loop. women (at least the sane ones) want nice guys. we want to be cherished. we want someone who will make us feel glorious and happy and wonderful. most of the time we don't find it. but being a nice guy is not the same thing at all as being a confident guy, and i suspect this is where you are falling down. in order to give something to a relationship, you have to have something to give. that sounds obvious but if you're being honest with yourself, what have you got to give? no, "nothing" is the wrong answer. you have many unique gifts that make you a great guy to date, you just need to find them and work on them. many men make the perfectly understandable and sweet mistake of concentrating all their efforts into doing or being or saying what they think the woman wants them to be. when what the woman really wants is for you to have ideas of your own, have interests outside the relationship, be pursuing personal goals and to not be dependent on the relationship for your answers. happiness and fulfillment don't magically arrive with a good relationship. a relationship is good because you take those qualities in with you. so try to focus on yourself for a while. think about what makes you passionate, what you really want out of life, the deepest desires of your heart. what, in essence, makes you you. concentrate on these things. if you can do that you'll be on the way to becoming a man you're proud of, and one other people can't wait to be around. you are not limited to be the man your parents tried to mould you to be, you can be anything you want to be.
LCST Posted October 12, 2004 Posted October 12, 2004 Just one comment that I want to make... "You just haven't met the right person yet". Let's just say, perhaps they don't want to hurt your feelings by telling you that they don't think you are what they want. Sometimes you may feel that they're lying by telling you you are such a "great guy", but if you think about it this way, does it really make you feel better to tell you that "I don't think you're good enough for me so I don't want to date you"? Not saying that's what they think but I just think that being all pissed about girls telling you that is not healthy, I mean, it's not worth it basically. Why not just focus on being a better person and most importantly make urself happy. You don't need another person to "make" you happy. I understand you must be feeling terrible, but still, age doesn't matter really, just take it easy and try to enjoy what you have now.
UCFKevin Posted October 13, 2004 Posted October 13, 2004 I've gotten that bad timing BS before. I hate that noise. Just move on. You're gonna hear it a lot. Lots of people, not just women, have gigantic walls built up around themselves, blocking any outside forces from changing their lives or emotions. Fear rules many.
Mary3 Posted October 13, 2004 Posted October 13, 2004 Is it possible that A) You have back hair ? B) Your socks are mismatched ? C) You didnt order the right pizza ? D) You have some organic disease with horns growing out of your head ? All silly questions ....the best way to find out is ASK someone like a trusted friend " Hey what the hell is wrong with me ...I cant get chicks to kiss me let alone date me " ? Is it my plaid suits ? Pocket Protector ? Star Wars Collection ? Honestly without a picture of you and some indepth information we can only speculate what the problem is but usually the MAJOR problem is ATTITude ! Do you come off as negative, weak , insensitive , selfish , cheap , rude, loud , obnoxious, lack confidence , suck in bed ? Well any of those will red flag us girls and reconsider our decision to give you a chance. CONFIDEDANCE my man ! ITs all how you project yourself. And make sure you shower and dont wear alot of colonge . Big turn offs for us girls I know I sounded mean but EVERY possible scenario needs to be looked at when you are 24 ( one quarter of your life is over ) and you have not been KISSED ! Do you look like John Kerry ? jk We love everyone here and we like to help but WE WILL Give you the truth to get to the root of the problem :
sampls123 Posted October 14, 2004 Posted October 14, 2004 Originally posted by rogueless Not all women are liars, just like not all men are. I wonder why you have had so many bad experiences. To have never kissed a woman by age 24 is unusual. Are you shy? Do you have a male or female friend that you can ask what the problem might be? Maybe you are doing something offensive and don't even know it? Provided you have good hygiene and decent table manners, I don't get it. When you have a conversation with a date are you as pessimistic as you were in this post? That's a definite turn off. Its a drain to listen to alot of negativity. I realize you may be a positive person but were up set when you posted this. Perhaps you are in an area with a small sele
Leikela Posted October 14, 2004 Posted October 14, 2004 Hi, I remember you from many times before. I remember what you told me about your past. Much worst then what you just posted in this thread. I work with abused kids and adults and I see what it does to their lives. They are not capable of a healthy relationship until they get therapy. The way you were treated by your parents was so horrific that you should definitely be in therapy. This is not something you can rectify on your own. I've said this to you before, but I guess you just want to keep getting angry and rejected instead of helping yourself. Did you ever read the book by Dave Peltzer that I recommended?
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